An old lady came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here is a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a [...]

At the age of 87 and 83, an elderly couple got married. Isn’t that good news? At that age, couples would most likely just rest and stay in the comfort of their homes watching their favorite shows, cooking or reading the early morning paper. But what is more exciting is the fact that these two people that I am actually talking about are both lesbians. Yes, it is true, they [...]

Two senior citizens were lamenting one day about getting old.The first one says, "My neck hurts so much I have a hard time turning my head left or right". The second one says, "My eyes are so bad with cataracts I can barely see four feet away". The first senior pipes in, "Yes, and my arthritis in my hands is so bad somedays I can’t grip anything". The second senior [...]

Summer is not just for kids. Senior citizens have all the right to have fun as well even for just a short period of time. Picnic is one of the best summer activities of all time. Every family should be able to enjoy a good meal outside the house once in a while. On June 25, there will be a picnic festival to be held in Broome Community College. The [...]

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn’t need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my [...]

The fight and the research against Alzheimer’s has taken a huge amount of time and a huge amount of money as well. The fund for the research, I’m sure is not enough to find the accurate cure for the said disease. The government has added an additional boost of $2 Million for the research into mental illness that affect the elderly and not just Alzheimer’s. It will fund the study [...]

A 75-year-old man went to the doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The Doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year-old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, Doc, [...]

More and more seniors are in need of affordable and low cost housing that offers generally the same type of service that high cost housings have. In Lake Tahoe, the construction of the second senior citizen housing complex has started yesterday. The finance agency of the state approved $4.73 million for the said project which shall receive about $346,000 in tax credits. This housing will cater senors who are generally [...]

I don’t do drugs anymore…I get the same effect just standing up fast.

A priest and Rabbi are on the same flight. The entire time the plane is in the air the priest is trying to convert the Rabbi. The Rabbi politley listens and trys to go on about his business. All of a sudden the plane goes into a terrible nose dive. A few minutes later, with the plane on the ground, in shambles around their feet and all the other people [...]