Seniors Site

Back injury is a problem that most seniors wish that they do not encounter. When they exercise or lift something up, they should be more careful simply because their bones are not as strong as they used to be.

Here are some tips in order to prevent back injuries among seniors.

1. Stretch the legs and back before doing a lot of carrying.
2. Wear protection on hands and feet.
3. Use a stool or a ladder to reach objects that are above your shoulders.
4. Always keep your feet planted on the ground and lift with the legs, not with the back.
5. Always get help carrying heavy objects.
6. Keep the stomach pulled in and use those muscles to support the back.

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22-year-old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

 I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"

 She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."

 I said, "Well, why are you crying?"

 She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."

 I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

 She said, "I can’t remember where I live."

Gas, no matter how safe it may sound, can cause a lot of uneasiness and trouble for senior citizens. It can cause abdominal discomfort, belching, flatulence and other symptoms. I remember when I was young, my grandfather died due to gas problems.

Here are some of the gas causing foods and activities for your knowledge:

1. Carbohydrate-rich foods. Those that are high in starches, sugar and fiber. These include beans, soft drinks, fruit drinks and dairy products.

2. Drinking very quickly.

3. Activities that cause the stomach to fill in some air. These activities include chewing gum, smoking and wearing dentures that are loose.

An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination on the same day.

Upon completion of the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

 "In fact, I do", said the man. "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

 "This is very interesting", replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you."

 After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

 The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

 The doctor then said, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"

 "Oh that old buzzard!" she replied. "That’s because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!!!"

*Source: http://www.suddenlysenior.com/seniorjokebook.html

This does not only apply to seniors alone but to everyone who knows how to drive a vehicle. In most cases of accidents in the road, the one behind the wheel often falls asleep. In some countries, there are cases wherein a high percentage of accidents involve senior citizens.

Here are a few tips on how to keep your mind focused on the road ahead.

1. Get plenty of sleep before hitting the road. Make sure that you are well rested.
2. If you are feeling tired, go to a safe area for a rest.
3. As much as possible, don’t drive between 12am and 6am.
4. For long trips, try switching with a buddy.
5. Take a break every 100 miles or so for snacks, strectching and some fresh air

This applies to traveling seniors who are enjoying the time of their lives. Don’t let it go down the drain just because of an accident. Keep it safe!

At 85 years of age, Morris married LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband was so old, LouAnne decided that on their wedding night, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepared herself for bed, and waited for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It’s Morris! And he’s again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.

LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy one another.

As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, I’ve been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You’re a great lover, Morris."

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?”

For a senior, exercise is really needed. If they could not go out for a nice walk outside, then they could do it in the comfort of their homes or in a facility that people can be around to supervise them.

The struggle here is by choosing the right equipment. Here is a simple guideline in looking for the perfect equipment.

1. Make sure that the equipments will fit the room that you choose to be at.
2. Try looking for deals and promotions. This will help you save up.
3. Choose a place in your home that is pleasant for exercise.
4. Make sure that you know how to use the equipment before bringing it home.

 The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work.," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you’re NAKED!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my Love Dress." the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love Dress? But you’re naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute." The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left.

On the way home she thought about the Love Dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door.

Finally her husband got home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" He exclaimed.

"This is My Love Dress." She replied.

"Needs ironing." he said.

*Source: http://www.suddenlysenior.com/seniorjokebook2.html

Video games are not just for kids and teens, that’s for sure. But senior citizens? That’s something new. If you ask those in El Paso, the senior citizens are having quite a good time. Well, if you ask them, (that is if you can manage to bother them while playing) they simple dance, shake and move to the groove of the virtual game called, wii-habilitation which was named after wii-fit, the popular game of Nintendo wii.

The managers of the senior community are very happy to see the citizens swinging their arms and shaking their hips. To them, this was probably the perfect exercise for a senior citizen.

So, who’s got the top score?

Little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago."

"So, where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"For what did they put you in prison?"

He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife."

"Oh," says the woman. "So you’re single…"

*Source: http://www.suddenlysenior.com/seniorjokes.html