There is an ongoing speculation that seniors fear living alone since they tend to succumb to loneliness which eventually leads to depression and health deterioration. This may be true for some seniors especially those in really advanced age wherein they feel that due to their limited Earth time, they should be surrounded with their friends and loved-ones from this day forward. This is also true for those experiencing life-threatening diseases and illnesses.
Like I said, this may be true for some seniors but never for all. More and more seniors are much more comfortable living their life alone without offspring to nag them all the time. In fact, a survey conducted in 2001 showed that more seniors are living alone than any other age group. These seniors are largely composed of widows.
Over the years, our baby boomers learned to live well, adapting a healthy lifestyle which in return prevented them from having poor quality of life. The result? Of course, healthy and independent seniors ready to live up with the demands of everyday life. This may cause alarm to worried younger adults with moms and dads living alone in the old family house, but really, sometimes you need to ask them if they prefer to live this way. And most of the time; they do.
Just imagine a lifetime-worth spent waiting for someone, adjusting to your “housemates” and trying to peacefully coexist with them. These “housemates” consist of your spouse, in-laws, children, their wives and husbands including everyone which happens to stop by your house some time way back then. Nonworking days were spent planning for family’s events which forced seniors to sacrifice their own preferred activity for the sake of the whole family’s enjoyment. Let’s face it, having a family is great and rewarding but it can get frustrating at times too. Living alone is indeed a liberating experience for seniors and this is their time to do their own thing for themselves; free from obligation and responsibilities that they have endured for years. I would like to call this as reclaiming or getting our lives back. Sweet words, aren’t they?
Seniors do need some private time. A time when they can be alone and prove that they can still fend for themselves and manage it on their own. If independence is important to seniors; self-confidence does too. By treating seniors like kids needing help, you take away their dignity and sense of worth. While it is quite understandable for young adults to worry about their seniors and see them as potential health hazards to themselves if left unattended, accord them with respect and try to meet with them halfway. As their kids, you can introduce modern devices and equipments which can make their daily lives easier such as microwave ovens, video phones, and appliances which automatically shut off when left idle for long time. You can also safe-proof their homes by installing emergency systems and alarms for cases of burglary and emergencies and of course, dropping in to check them from time to time is a nice idea as well. This will provide an adequate time to let them know you care without intruding with their lives—like what you preferred during your carefree days.
If and when you feel you need to move them to an assisted facility, just explain to your aging parent why, because if they will clearly see your point, they will not argue with your decision as they know it is what’s best for them. A good, open communication line is always important in maintaining a healthy relationship with seniors.
