The most important thing between a senior and his or her caregiver is their communication. With the demands and stress that come with the relationship, sometimes it becomes hard to establish connection–or for some situations, reestablish one–for both caregiver and the receiver.
Demands for great communication skills on the caregiver’s part are not only for his or her ward, it is also needed when talking with the patient’s doctors, health care providers, elder care providers, lawyers and even to their pharmacists. Caregiving will not only take up your time, energy and physical effort but it will definitely take a piece of you as a person. When giving care to someone, you build relationships—whether you intend to or not. Caring for seniors is different from caring for babies; although it has its own rewards, most of the time, it’s quite heart breaking for the caregivers.
A successful caregiving practice will depend on how well you connect with your care receiver. You will never know what your care receiver desires if you don’t know him that well. You, as the caregiver, should be able to understand your ward even before he opens his mouth. This is the same reason why longtime, loving spouses are the best caregivers because they can read their partners’ mind and know exactly what will calm him down or make them happy. For all others, especially those who are not trained for the job, you should always remember that seniors have their own mature minds and they know what they want—there’s no point in treating them like kids or else your relationship is in danger!
As living, breathing humans, it is not uncommon for us to feel frustrated and sometimes, rejected by our wards. Let’s just put it this way, seniors have their own issues and most of the time, what they do is not personally attacking their caregivers but working out their personal issues. Trust, for one, is also an issue for some seniors and they can be quite defensive and weary in front of strangers. However, we can avoid these problems if we know how to calm ourselves, if and when the need arises.
When faced in a difficult situation like this, avoid confrontation as much as possible, especially if you are still at the height of your emotions. Take time out, and breathe. You don’t need to lash out or attack the senior in front of you; if it’s his fault, he knows it. If he is resisting, try listening with both ears and try not to be too judgmental about it; if what you are saying is true, he knows it too. By tactfully explaining things to him and backing off after, you are giving him time to think about it and decide for himself. Bear in mind that you are just assisting this person, not taking over his life. Bonding with your ward is the best thing you can do to establish relationship that will make him feel safe and secure in your company. Get to know the person you are taking care of and you are sure to have a lasting relationship that is quite comfortable for both of you.
