You’re in your midlife, she’s in her senior years, now you are having a hard time connecting to her. Does this scenario sound familiar? Probably yes, since it is a very common communication problem between a senior parent and her adult offspring.
Experts say the problem stems from the fast-paced life we seem to be leading now. Due to the demands of an average adult life, it is easy to leave your family behind, especially if they are already slowing down and are not able to keep up with the pace anymore. Even with the advances in technology today which enable us to connect with each other even if we’re miles away, it seems that it’s never enough to establish a good connection with an aging parent. Counselors recommend children of aging parents to build a good foundation, relationship-wise, early on so communication problems would be avoided later in life.
Light exchanges are highly encouraged between a parent and a child. This way you’ll be able to get to know each other more in a way that a child could determine what tone of voice to use and what words work for the parent. If you are sensitive enough, you eliminate the possibility of miscommunication. On the other hand, imposing to your parent is never good at any age and let me tell you, this is a trap most adult with aging parent fall into unconsciously. When you care about the person, you don’t impose.
It is important to share yourself too. How else can you earn trust if you cannot trust someone too? It need not be anything painful but hobbies and routines you’ve grown to love can also be shared with your aging parent to establish a common ground—a crucial part of an effective communication. Moreover, if you aim to improve your relationship which is by the way the most important step in communicating with seniors, it has to start somewhere. Shared hobby can be your easiest point of entrance. If you are unable to establish this kind of mutual relationship and time is pressing tremendously on your side, then get someone close to your senior parent whom he or she trusts with his life to act as a mediator. It will also help you if you can remember to be his child first before a life planner even if you’re the one supporting him financially right now.
When approaching a senior, never be the bearer of bad news all the time otherwise your senior will turn defensive everytime you come near. There are many things under the sun that you can discuss with your parent other than committing her to an adult care facility or submitting her to yet another lab test or even her declining health. These topics are all but depressing. Make it a habit to try cheering them up everyday.
