Seniors Site

Cohabitation is when a couple chooses to live together without getting married prior to moving in. It is a mutually-agreed decision made by both parties involved and they are socially acceptable nowadays. In fact, it is considered as the best alternative for marriage since it is free of any legal bonds that come with getting married. Cohabitation is also great for “trial period” prior to getting hitched hence its nickname “trial marriage”.

For younger adults, cohabitation is great especially if things got too fast and they would rather take time to know each other more as husband-and-wife. This will also help them determine if they would be able to stay married to one another thus eliminating the legal entanglement if the relationship won’t work. In other words, cohabitation is supposedly a testing ground for the relationship’s staying power. If it hasn’t any, then you call it quits and move on.

On the other hand, cohabitation for seniors is much more than testing relationships and taking time. For seniors, cohabitation takes a whole new different meaning and sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to hear. Usually, it is not about doubting his or her partner but it’s a matter of having no choice but to stay unattached to their respective partners. Remember that these seniors belong to a generation which firmly believes in marriage and it can be doubly hard for them to defy their beliefs. Aside from that, they face criticism from their loved-ones, particularly their kids, and friends. Sadly, more and more seniors are forced to face these consequences in the name of love due to many age-related factors as evident to recent surveys. Some of which are:

·    Financial reasons. It seems that the biggest, most contributing factor for seniors to cohabitate is their finances. Some seniors see marriage as impractical or not an option for their relationship hence they prefer staying unmarried living under one roof. Then there’s the question of taxes and senior benefits that are bound to change if and when a senior decided to get married. In other cases, it is done to separate debt incurred prior to the relationship to protect the other person involved.
·    Assets. If there are assets involved, sometimes their families would step-in and interfere with the supposed marriage. To avoid this embarrassing situation, some seniors prefer to live together peacefully but without marriage than get married and have a crazy life.
·    Personal choice. It may be a bad marriage in the past that has left a bitter pill in the mouth.
·    Their own children. Older adults’ descendants play a big part on the choices they make for their own life especially if their children’s welfare is at stake.

Think Demi and Ashton or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, they are the very epitome of successful May-December romances. These celebrities risked this road and it seems that they made the right decision after all. So, if it really works, what sets it apart from all the other relationships and what are its benefits for both individuals involved in the said relationship?

In a May-December love affair, one partner is supposed to be much older than the other one, in about 15 years or so. In a relationship wherein the man is the “much older” partner, he is well-praised by his colleagues and fairly accepted by the society. Unfortunately, the same does not go for older women and most of the time, she is tagged with different derogatory names and titles just because she was able to bag a younger male. Of the two, one can only see how hard it will be for a senior woman to engage in a May-December love affair. This is also the reason why regular senior women seldom find themselves in a situation like this, except of course if you are a celebrity like Demi whose vocabulary doesn’t include the words aging and old! But it does happen, albeit all hardships that come with it and apparently, May-December romances work better and stay longer than same-age relationships.

So, how can May-December romances work while all other types of love arrangements just stood looking on the sidelines? Because, it has the right blend of ingredients perfectly suited in this day and age. We all know how maturity works for people. It may come in a much later time and it varies greatly from one person to another. In general, girls mature faster than boys in all aspects of the body, be it physically or emotionally therefore they seek companionship of a much older partner who can satisfy their needs and be able to properly respond to their level of maturity. Relationship-wise, it is ideal if a couple could grow and mature together as the relationship progresses and enters different stages of it. Unfortunately, maturity is a thing that cannot be imposed and also, it cannot be determined. In a May-December love affairs, there’s bound to be one nurturer and one receiver hence a balanced and harmonious relationship exists. Aside from that, older adults looking to break the boring and monotonous life they are currently living find excitement in younger mates. May-December romances allow room to grow for either or both individuals and it sure does widen their horizons, making them see life through each other’s eyes. Successful relationships are almost always based on how you can extend appreciation over each other’s worth and that is exactly how May-December affairs work. Patience is also there, usually coming from the older partner’s side during the first few years but is also adapted by the younger one later on.