Of all the losses a senior must face in his or her lifetime, the hardest must be the death of a grandchild. The bond between a senior and a grandchild is known to surpass any definition there is in a dictionary. In fact, most seniors can attest to the fact that sometimes, it is easier to love a grandchild than to accept their own children’s fault and limitations. For a grandchild, grandparents are considered as heroes such that when they encountered any kind of discomfort, a grandparent can magically make it all go away. They are often considered as security blankets, ready to envelope them in times of need. That level of need makes it easier for seniors to extend their love, care and support for their grandchildren without expecting anything great in return.
Because of this ever-so-unique ties that bind a grandparent to the grandchild, dealing with the loss of the latter is both unbearable and confusing to the former. Some seniors who underwent a situation like this describes the experience as holding a double-edged sword cutting you both ways. You feel pain for the terrible loss but at the same time, you also see your own child needing your support now, more than ever. The situation calls for your strength so it is but normal for you to set aside your own feelings and mourn later. Also, losing a grandchild is a surreal experience which lends seniors a different perspective in life later on.
While mourning could be healthier for seniors when faced with death of a loved-one, these are the times when your innate nature as a parent kicks in. Most probably you will find yourself concentrating more to your own child’s needs and stepping in when the need arises. These are normal reactions and also, they are quite expected from a parent like you but you should also consider allowing yourself a little time to grieve. This way you can now share your strength to its fullest extent without feeling hurt, guilt and even remorse.
Dealing with death is never easy. As a parent, it is much easier to wish all the pain away. Sadly, it is something that is easier said than done. Seniors should remember that no matter how hard we pray for our children to get their normal lives back, it will take some time for the pain to subside–and still after that, life can never be the same again. Hopelessness may set in but rest assured that your presence during this time of need is much appreciated by the receiving end.
Your emotional stability is the most important tool you can use when salvaging a life that’s shattered by a child’s death. Learn to listen to your bereaved child and keep your emotions in check. Seek support when needed just so you will have an outlet for your own grievances too.
