We’ve seen daughters and sons, and even spouses of concerned parties undergo certain life-changing adjustments just to cater to their elderly, ailing parents. Some are even known to go back and forth from their homes to their parents’ just to make sure everything is under control and their parents are getting enough care and attention. Others simply move their parents into their homes in order to care for the senior and still be there for their own families. Most of the time, this kind of arrangement works especially if caring for the older adult becomes a family effort.
Unfortunately, there are those who simply couldn’t make it due to the distance they have found themselves in by the time they figured out their parents might be needing help. Sad, but indeed not uncommon, since one’s descendants are known to go great distances either by choice or by chance, usually not minding the distance they’re putting between their parents and themselves until it was too late. I say, this is a kind of situation that usually signifies many great changes to come.
Changes need not be drastically done. Of course, guilt won’t be too far away upon learning about your parents’ current predicament. There will be a sudden urge to pack your bags and come home. But then again, –and especially if you are comfortably settled in your place—there are things to be considered like your job and your household. If you find yourself in this situation, the best thing to do is assess the problem thoroughly. If you can manage a weeklong vacation, maybe it’s time to arrange for it and fly to your parents’ place to determine what needs to be done. If you can do this silently, the better. Never impose or argue, just consider you being away for so long to be a ground they could take against you. After all, this is still your parents house so give them due respect.
Never take anyone’s word regarding your parents’ state. Who would know them better than you? In order to take control of the situation, it is best to know the situation personally. Besides, everybody has their own perception of things and you wouldn’t know for sure what perception best fits your parents’ current state. If this is not possible, seek help from a professional who knows what he is doing such as your family doctor who lives in your parents’ area or a social worker, if you happen to know one. Objective evaluation is the key to successfully determine your next step or solution.
Involvement is also important for you to be able to care for your aging parent even if miles apart. The thing is, it is possible to care for them even if you are not physically there. There are support teams and services which you can avail for them in the area. If assistance is needed, social groups can also help you. You just need to reach out and ask for help.
