Seniors Site

Traps to Avoid For A Happy, Healthy Marriage

Marriage must be one of those things that cannot be hindered by age. Marriage is an ageless affair and it can be enjoyed by men and women regardless of age, the same way one can feel discontented or trapped in a loveless marriage, except of course if you are still below the marrying age. Let’s just assume that everyone who happens to be reading this material is old enough to understand what marriage really means.

Personally, it’s inspiring to see an old couple still enjoying their time together. For those who grew skeptic of fairy tales or those who have had bad marriages and got too burned to ever believe that marriages can be happier, there’s still hope. If you take a closer look at things, you’ll see that marriage is actually a two-way street and no matter how you deny having any hand in the failed marriage, it’s always you and your partner, no one else.

Of course, who wouldn’t want to grow old with someone they really love? The problem is, it is easy to fall in love and stay in love with a person who doesn’t live under the same roof that shelters your head! Disagreements start from the day this other person invades your space and privacy. In actuality, marriage is a never-ending commitment and is dotted with trivial issues which when put together bring about other totally unrelated but equally annoying disputes. This is the point when you sit down and ask yourself, where did the person you married go and who is this monster sharing your home now? To avoid a situation like this and start living a marriage that is truly worth while, there are marriage traps you need to avoid and be conscious of:

·    MARRIAGE TRAP 1: Overly critical bordering to sarcasm. Have you ever heard yourself lately when addressing issues with your partner? Why is that there’s always that sarcastic itch which badly needed to be scratched? Criticizing won’t get you anywhere. Why not try addressing the more pressing issues which compel you to be critical instead of attacking your partner personally?
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 2:  Unwarranted accusations. How easy it is to blame the other person in the house when something goes wrong! You do this mostly to divert attention from your own faults and miscalculations to the other unknowing person. Go for solutions rather than wasting energy trying to figure out who’s to blame.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 3:  Incessant whining. Try attaching yourself to a whiny cat (or dog) for a day and you’ll soon realize how annoying it can get! It’s okay to let the other half know about the things you are currently going through but barraging him with unnecessary complaints is never going to make the marriage happier.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 4:  Demanding too much. In other words, please don’t nag. It’s okay to remind if the spouse is starting to show early signs of dementia but nagging is only for people who are too lazy to get up and do what is needed. Also, there are better ways to let the other person know what you need without sounding like “the boss”. It’s his house too, you know.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 5:  Bullying or malicious manipulation. As years pass, you’ll get to know more about the other person. The danger of it is letting the other person have the sword that can ultimately kill you or vice versa. If you don’t want this person to change, you shouldn’t force him to do things he wouldn’t do by himself.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 6:  Getting even. When you feel the need for vengeful acts, it usually occupies the mind 24/7. Sadly, it leaves no room for the love that was once there.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 7:  Ignoring what’s there for you to appreciate. Growing comfortable with each other has its own downside. For one, it is easy to overlook things, both big and small, and just see what’s lacking. You should know that in a situation like this, it is almost always your lack of appreciation that tears the marriage apart.