Lucky are those who stayed with their partners for such a long time that it already became impossible to imagine life without the other. Some may look at it with a disbelieving eye and will try to find loopholes or signs that the marriage is not what it seems. Then there are those who can only stare with envy and wish theirs would also last that long. I say I belong to the latter since I am really a hopeless romantic at heart!
I would like to believe that it has something to do with the way I was brought up, or the family values I was taught as a child, or even the era I had lived in. Back then, jumping from one relationship to another was considered as promiscuous. Also, it could be taken as a sure sign of fickle-mindedness bordering to carelessness. Marriage for me is a lifelong commitment, a vow to last a lifetime.
Good news is, it can still happen. Their secret? Read on:
•    Bring no expectations into the relationship. First impressions last, yes, but it need not be brought into the relationship, much less into the marriage. No matter how you yearn for a prince or princess, you must not see the other person as your eyes would like them to be. You just have to love them as they come.
•    Roles are not important. It doesn’t matter who should wear the pants in your relationship or who brings home the bacon. What’s more important is what works for you and your partner.
•    Strive for one another. Work for your kids, support the family but ALWAYS strive for your partner. And when I say strive, I mean doing it because you want it.
•    Don’t be the one to introduce pressure to the relationship. As much as possible, make it simple and easy for your significant half. Putting too much pressure—or causing it—will only make your relationship vulnerable.
•    Financial independence is important, but your marriage doesn’t need it. While it is important that you have yourself covered in case something unexpected happens, it can also unnecessarily break a marriage. If you are more comfortable having your own money, then so be it, but it should never enter your marriage equation in any way.
•    Focus on your partner as he or she should do the same. You chose to be with this person because you decided to care for him or her. Once you entered a relationship, you make room for this other person in your world. Not only that, you move a little and side by side, you both be the center of the world you are trying to create.
Bear in mind that for a marriage to work, it should be both ways. That means, it’s you and your partner working together, having the same goals and dreaming of same lives. Being stuck in a one-way relationship will not and cannot work.