It really doesn’t matter if you became a grandparent by birth or through adoption. Every child has their own endearing qualities that will—not only convince you but also—make you fall inlove with them. I firmly believe that with each adoption, it is fate that brings the adoptive parents and the child together, which only indicates that you come along for the ride.
While there may be hesitancy at first, rest assured that after jumping the first hurdle which is getting acquainted with your now-grandchild, everything will eventually feel right and real for both of you. Being an adoptive grandparent may not be the easiest thing to do but in time, when everyone is settled and adjusted, you are most likely to find yourself fussing over the kid more than his or her adoptive parents. Meanwhile, here are some helpful tips in getting you started with your adoptive grandparenting!
• Learn how to answer questions right. It is not everyday that someone in the neighborhood adopts a kid right? So as a normal human response, your curious friends will have a lot of questions to ask that they are practically bursting with it. Learn how to answer them politely while subtly implying that the matter is private and not to be discussed openly and publicly. Bear in mind that it is the kid who will catch the blow, not you or your friends for that matter.
• Know the right words to use. As a grown-up person, you must be mature enough to know what words will express the right messages and the ones that will only confuse a child. Once the child reaches a certain age, he or she will start asking questions and you are bound to answer it sooner or later. Choosing your words right will help them understand their situation better. As much as possible, keep it straight and simple.
• Honesty is still the best policy. The child has the right to know his or her history and being honest with them will help them accept the reality of it and start living with the “now” which is with you and with their adoptive parents. The sooner they will be able to deal with it, the greater are the chances of them growing up into a regular, normal person without any life baggage.
• Don’t hold back. Remember that once you adopt a child, it stays with the family no matter what. Holding back—just because he or she doesn’t really share your bloodline—will only make it harder for you and everyone else. Love like you would a real grandchild and you will be fine.
• Share their interest. Some adoptive parents prefer adopting an older child rather than starting with a newborn. Dealing with the former situation is a little different from what you would normally do with the latter since by now, the child has already formed his own conceptions in life and may be a little guarded. Rather than force your way in, work your way into their heart by sharing their interests and becoming a friend they can trust.
