You mourn the day they move out of the house, you stopped yourself from begging them to come back plenty o’ times, you struggled to get used to being on your own, next thing you know your kids are knocking at your door—your grandkids or suitcases in tow-asking for you to take them back! Now what?
Ever since the global economic crisis’ hit, more and more seniors are finding their litters back in their homes and into their lives. This may sound fun for some however, that is not usually the case especially if the senior has already started moving forward with their lives—without the kids. But what exactly is a “boomerang kid” and how to deal with them if and when your time comes?
“Boomerang kids” are termed as such since their behavior signifies such action. Take note that not all adult kids intentionally do this, some are only victims of their own high hopes and equally high expectations of life. On the other hand, there are those kids who just can’t get it: that you also have your life to live and it is not normal for parents to still wait on their kids even in their adult lives.
Why now? Obviously, your kids have hit the end of the road and they needed to start anew. Basic human instinct will tell them that in order for them to start again, they should go back to where they came from, in this case, your house. Naturally, they expect you to be warm and accommodating even if you don’t feel having them around that much. Nowadays, the three main reasons why your kids are forced to come back are: debt, unemployment and the housing crunch which left almost half of your kid’s generation homeless.
Which of course, left you with no choice but to take them back. But, having your kids back should not be too painful for both of you. You only have to handle it properly and consider these things when you find yourself living—again—with your adult kids:
• They are not kids anymore. They are adults and they should be treated as such.
• You’re their parent but that doesn’t mean they have to treat you like they own you and you are their slave waiting on them hand and foot.
• Both of you are two grown, mature adults living two, separate adult lives and should be respected as such.
With that in consideration, you, as the rightful owner of the house should lay the ground rules. This is done to avoid painful separations and traumatic “nesting” experiences. Always share your concerns and keep communication lines open. Lastly, never intrude with your kid’s affairs unless invited. Encouraging your kid to get up and pickup the pieces of his life is the best approach for this kind of situation, never take pity on them nor express feeling of doubt about their future. Nonetheless, always put your future ahead of his even in such situation.
