Do you still remember the time when your kids were in their teens and you fret about their dating too early? Or perhaps getting scared when it was already past their curfew and they were still nowhere to be found? Or maybe, raised hell when you found out that they were smoking cigarettes already – and, gasp! YOUR pack of cigarettes! Well, let’s just say that you and your kid have just come full circle but accidentally switched places.
Kids indeed are hard to raise but just recently, I have heard a younger friend of mine saying, “It’s harder to raise parents, you know”. I laughed hard even if my friend was awfully serious about it. The problem? She just found out that her mom got back on the dating scene and took home a man 10 years younger than her. Not that you could tell the difference, her mom is super active it almost erased 20 years of her age in appearance and in my honest opinion, 10 years difference is nothing when you are on your 70s. But, it bothered my friend tremendously and there’s nothing else I can do but comfort her.
Funny how parents and kids automatically switch roles as they age. When your kids were small, they look up to you, depend on you, and never question your actions however, as they grow into mature humans – if matter of maturity has a hand in it – they automatically assume that you are their ward and they have to take care of you even if it leads to your feeling like they are treating you as a nonthinking person. I should know, the things we fight about, my daughter and I, one would think that I am so demented, I should not be allowed roaming the streets.
Then again, looking at it from their perspective, when a senior parent started acting strange and childish, it gets a little freaky right? And you, as the level-headed, mature one felt that it was your duty to butt in, even if uninvited. We, seniors, must admit, as we grow old, doing crazy things seems to be as inviting as ever hence the term second childhood.
As the older – and I assume, wiser – one, you should take the initiative to understand where they are coming from. Go talk to your kids and ask questions so you’ll know exactly what it is that’s bothering them. Was it concern? Or perhaps jealousy? Try to keep an open mind when talking with your kids and never lose your temper even if they are openly picking a fight. Remember that your kids might be hurting and they would like to channel all those anger to you. Instead of letting their fear turn into anger, try to show them you are still in control of things and most of all, you are listening to their concerns.
