This must be the scariest part of caregiving – when you need to make end-of-life decisions. While it may be the last decision you’ll ever make for your senior which basically means you will also be free to go back living a normal life, it also means that it will only be a matter of time before you and your beloved senior part ways which is quite saddening especially if you have already forged a bond with your senior.
It helps if your senior has already made plans or was able to cover some points clearly before he or she reaches this point however, most seniors don’t plan things like this even if they feel it coming. It must be the feeling of accepting death, that when you actually plan for it, it becomes more real and soon. If you are the primary caregiver and the one to make end-of-life decisions, you might want to encourage your senior to plan ahead – just don’t push it if they are not ready.
The decision should from your senior as it is the only way they will be able to come up with their real wishes. Try to understand that they might have fears and doubts not to mention the fact that they are planning their own end-of-life situations which, if you come to think of it, is quite freaky. Try to understand their fears and if you can, allay it. If it helps, ask their doctors and perhaps someone whom they trust and respect, to talk to them and assure them thus helping them arrive to an acceptable decision. If there are people your senior should be talking to, they would be: family members, doctors, religious and financial advisers and their lawyer.
At this point, your senior should be able to assign a person who will make end-of-life decisions for them when time comes, if that person is not you. This person should be able to efficiently deal with all aspects of the senior’s end-of-life wishes such as the financial aspect and most especially health care. In terms of health care, it will help if your senior will be able to specify what type of medical treatments they prefer to be done if a certain situation calls for it, and if there are treatments they would rather skip. Aside from medical treatments, your senior should also mention if they wish to be still given life support even if their breathing or heart stops or if they are already brain dead. Ask them if they wish to stay at the hospital or would rather be cared for at home if they are terminally ill. Lastly, if they die, would they rather have the family decide what to do with them or if they have their own wishes.