Seniors Site

Five Stages of Grief

Time and again, we are reminded how to handle grief the right way however, if we are to rely on our basic human instinct, it is quite impossible to go about the grieving process properly, let alone, methodically right? That’s just impossible.

Nonetheless, having some kind of stages helps us in actually moving on with our life. With stages, we know where we are and how many stages are there before we are finally on the clear. Before we start, it is better to note that mourning is normal and it helps you get better. Losing someone, no matter how big or small their significance in our life is, has an impact on our own outlook regarding life and death, especially on our later years. What’s important is we acknowledged them and accepted them no matter how hurtful they are. According to the book On Death and Dying, there are five stages of grief, and here they are:

· DENIAL. Humans are resistant by nature. We very seldom accept things as they are the first time they were given to us. We need some time to assess if it is something that will bring us joy or could perhaps hurt us. Something that is very shocking, like death in the family or perhaps illness that could be fatal, will immediately be met with denial because that is the only way to buffer an overwhelming emotion that is threatening to strike. Denial stage is a very temporary response and they rarely last.
· ANGER. As denial is a very short phase, the feeling of anger is very quick to replace it. This is because you are masking whatever it is that you are feeling inside which you can’t quite explain (there could be guilt, resentment, frustration etc) And simply because we find it too hard to accept, we direct our “unexplained” feeling to other things or person – can also be our dead loved-one.
· BARGAINING. This is the phase when we try to make a bargain, usually with God or whoever happens to be our highest being. Here you would hear yourself talking about “ifs” and “buts” such as “I will never smoke a cigarette again ever in my life if you would just give her an extension, like, a year or two” Of course, we know this won’t happen, only, we are desperate enough to hope for a miracle. Also, regret is beginning to manifest, such that there will be “if only” and “what if”.
· DEPRESSION. Now reality must be sinking in and begging to be acknowledged. This phase proves to be the most crucial since the struggle is happening inside of us and it’s not going anywhere. Seek help if you need to. There’s nothing to be ashamed of at this point and the sooner you move on from this phase, the better.
· ACCEPTANCE. This is the final stage of grief and while you may still feel empty inside, you know you have already accepted the loss if you are now okay with it and you are making baby steps toward normalcy or bring back the way you live your life before losing a loved-one.