Anger, shock, disbelief, fear and guilt are some symptoms of grief. The death of a loved one is probably the most painful a human being can experience. It can bring about emotions that can lead to depression.

The steps to healing can help in acceptance and moving on. You can ease your journey in healing by having knowledge of these emotions that are naturally associated to grief.

Learn about the stages of grief

Understand the stages of grief to help you cope with your loss. The stages include denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance as well as depression. Some people do not have to go all through the stages to heal since we all heal differently. An elderly can experience one or two stages and heal from the loss.

Accept your feelings

For you to heal, you have to accept the emotions going through your heart. Trying to suppress your feelings may hinder healing. You have to allow yourself to ride the stages of grief. All sorts of emotions that you may go through can be more intense and different than usual. Accept the feelings happening inside you.

Express your true feelings

Learn to express yourself. Talk to people who love and care for you about your feelings. Talk about the emotions driving you crazy and be honest with yourself. If talking about it is too painful, you can write a journal. You can talk as well as write about how you feel if both ways can help ease your grief.

Maintain your health

Don’t forget to nurture yourself and have a regular maintained schedule of good food, exercise and rest. Take some time out to pamper yourself by doing something that would make you feel better. Spoil yourself with walks in the park, relax to music and get massages.

Seek support

Join a group that will support you in your grief. Those who feel your true emotions can offer help. Those who really care for you can give you suggestions and ideas on how to ease your journey and heal peacefully.

Feeling guilty can help you learn from your mistakes. On the other hand, unhealthy guilt is not very fun especially if you live out of obligation. This is because you can develop fear if you do not do what you think you should do. An elderly may feel guilty if he or she does something out of the box, contrary to what he or she has been brought up to believe or do.

Thus, harboring guilt because of performing something out of your belief may prevent you from nurturing your life in the right direction. Beliefs can guide your behaviors from when you were young to your old age. The habits of thought can be updated and rewritten as you grow older.

Concentrate on letting go of guilt if you want to be happier and age gracefully. Focus on what is good for you instead of what is good for everyone else that you think you must be responsible for.

Identify and acknowledge your guilt

Done ignore or suppress guilt when it rises. The elderly should identify what is making them feel guilty and acknowledge the guilty situation. Allow yourself to feel your true feelings so that you are able to deal with it accordingly.

Identify and change the thoughts behind the guilt

What is making you feel guilty? The thoughts behind your guilt can be very powerful. They can determine how you behave or react towards your guilt. Identifying them can help in replacing them with something you want to focus on.

Remove the negative, self-limiting habits

Remove the behaviors and habits that are causing guilt. The self-limiting habits can be removed by stopping the behaviors associated with guilt.

Feel the void left

A void will be left if you stop the behaviors. Find a healthier ways to fill the void and satisfy the needs that you have.

Embrace reality

You cannot change what is making you feel guilty because it has already happened. Therefore you need to move on as fast as possible but at your own pace.

Love yourself

Love yourself by forgiving yourself and letting go of non-essential and useless guilt.

Other than the above emotions, you may also be content with your role in life as a caregiver to the elderly. You may experience tenderness, patience, gratitude, devotion and intimacy. Leaning how to cope with your emotions may make life easier and happier for you.

If you are going through various emotional episodes as a caregiver, you can try a few things to transition and rid of the mentally and physically-draining emotions.

Reminisce

Reminisce about the person’s life. Time spent reminiscing can help deal with your emotions. You can laugh about the past experiences you both shared. You can also share stories that bring fond memories of the past. Reminiscing can take you and your loved one back to a past that makes you forget your present situation.

Meditate

Take some quiet time away for yourself. When you are not taking care of the elderly, you can take some time and meditate. This mental activity can help reduce stress, decrease anxiety and promote self-discovery. Learn the various ways to meditate and find one that suits your requirements. If you do not want to meditate alone, you can do so with a group.

Confide

Keeping your emotions hidden and buried is not going to help. You can reach out to a family member or friend. Find someone you can talk to with ease to rid of caregiver burnout. Talking about what is going on with you to another person has great emotional benefits. You can do so when having dinner or bowling with the person you wish to confide in.

Ask for help

Help comes a long way when taking care of senior citizens. Do not be afraid to ask your friends and family members for help. You may be surprised by how much help you may receive. It could be financial or even support. Persons willing to help you can ease the emotions you go through every day as a caregiver.

Cry

Crying is nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel the need to cry, do so privately. Release some of the emotions that bring you down.

Scholarships

Various scholarships such as Rotarian and military can be ideal for your grandchildren. Your grandchildren can also acquire scholarships because of their ethnicity and ancestry. Furthermore, you can help them research, find and apply for scholarships and other financial aid programs.

Offering room and board

Your grandchildren can live with you for certain duration to cut down on boarding, expenses. In exchange, the grandkids can help around your home. This arrangement can help them save on money that can be used for other purposes.

Offering gift cards

Offering discounted gift cards can really help your grandkids. The cards can be for places you know they may need to shop. You can give them gift cards for gas, grocery, bookstore, Pizza Hut, Wal-Mart, Amazon and cell phone bills.

Contributing to college savings plans

You can also contribute to their college savings plans. The 529 college savings plans help set aside funds for future college costs. Some benefits include federal and state tax breaks. The plans are also low maintenance, flexible and you maintain control of the funds.

Give them useful items that you don’t need anymore

Items that are still useful but you don’t need may be useful to your grandchildren. Such items may save your grandchildren money since they may not need to make any more purchases. The items can include house wares or even a car.

Educational awards for community service

Through your voluntary efforts in the community, you may acquire awards for your grandchildren. Volunteer organizations may offer help in terms of scholarships or loan forgiveness. The organizations may offer awards according to the hours you volunteer per year.

Direct payment to college

To avoid taxes, you can pay directly to the college. This also ensures your grandchildren receive uninterrupted education since their college fees are already catered for. It is an appropriate method for helping your grandchildren’s college fees if they are not eligible for need-based financial aid.

You should always remember that even if your chosen hospital is adequately equipped to make your stay as comfortable as possible, you, as the patient, still have the responsibility to bring everything that you need – things the hospital wouldn’t know and doesn’t have access to – as well as the things that will somehow help the professionals handle your stay easier. In other words, it is a two-way street; they help you, you help them.

First and foremost, bear in mind that even if nurses and aides are always hurrying to somewhere that they almost feel like a blur, they too are humans. And they have feelings too. Go the extra mile and treat them with kindness everytime your paths cross. Never demand, just request if you need something and don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you” when the situation calls for it. These people are on the frontlines, they will be the ones to help you better understand medical/hospital things better.

Have a list of numbers on your bedside. This should include your doctor’s contact number, office and personal, if you have it. Next is your “guardian” or whoever the hospital should be contacting in case they need to discuss something about your stay and last but not the least, the phone number to the nurse’s station, just in case you’re in an emergency and in need of quick assistance.

Make sure that everything in your room is working. Try the phone, the TV, the call button, the air conditioning unit, etc. This is because your room will become your temporary home and it is important that you feel comfortable living in it, albeit temporarily. Test the ambiance too. Is there too much traffic outside your door? Are you getting enough sunlight? Is it too cold in the room? If something bothers you, kindly ask for a change of room.

If you are to bring valuables with you, remember that hospitals are not responsible for such and these things shouldn’t be left just lying around without anyone overseeing them. Better leave them at home if they are not important to your hospital stay.

Try to keep a checklist of the medications you are taking during your stay. This list will help doctors pinpoint a problem should it arise. Lastly, don’t forget to place a bottle of water and some hand sanitizer on your bedside table to help keep you hydrated and germ-free when it becomes too hard for you to get up and get them.

The responsibility of raising your grandchildren can be overwhelming. In your old age, you need all the support you can get to help in raising the children. National legal resource centers and community-based support groups can offer you all the information you need about grandfamilies. You can find helpful information on laws and policies, support services, benefits and resources.

To get started as a caregiver to the kids you may need several documents such as birth certificate, citizenship papers, dental and medical records, proof of your grandchild’s assets and income as well as yours among other documents. At your age, taking on the responsibility of grandchildren children could be quite challenging if you do not have the right support.

Persons you may want to talk to when raising the grandchildren include child welfare professionals, teachers, lawyers, pediatricians and other persons in your grandchildren’s lives.

How to find a good support system

You can find other grandparents in your local area who are raising their grandchildren as well. Grandparent support groups can be found on the internet too. Places to look for support services include schools, mentoring programs, universities, colleges, religious organizations and boys and girls clubs.

Help can also come from other family members. Ask for help from friends as well. There may be some members of your family who may want to help if you only ask. Considerations you should make when raising your grandkids are child care, education, legal issues, health, work, finances and housing and safety.

Challenges

Some challenges you may face as a senior caregiver to your grandchildren include access to services and information, financial issues, housing, current political and social factors, legal relationship and special needs if any.

Birth parents may also bring their set of challenges which can make it difficult to raise the grandchildren while dealing with the parent’s and family challenges. It can be difficult dealing with parents who are addicted to drugs and alcohol or are unreliable and erratic to their children.

Seniors with Alzheimer’s are given the care they need by caregivers. Treatment and care can be done at home or in a nursing home. Caregiving is managed over the course of the disease. Drug and non-drug treatments are administered to the person suffering from the condition to slow down the progression, reduce caretaker burden and increase patient safety.

Approaching Alzheimer’s when visiting or as a caregiver

Since the disease causes an individual to be isolated due to memory loss, you may be shocked by the initial treatment you receive from the individual when you visit. You may be treated with hostility, indifference or even ignored.

Family members who visit their loved ones in a care facility can take on a unique approach.

a). Families of a relative should be well-informed about the disease. Wearing a tag name before approaching can help them remember your name every time they forget.

b). Approach the patient slowly and calmly.

c). If you extend their hand and they do not extend theirs to hold yours do not be alarmed for they may not know what to do with it. If they take your hand and do not let go let them keep holding it.

d). Stand by their side so they don’t feel like you are in their personal space.

e). Do not startle them by approaching them from behind or greeting them without knowing what is on their mind.

f). You can bend to meet them at their level and make sure your eyes meet so the person can see you. While bending do not come head on for they might view it as an aggressive gesture.

g). Smiling will put the person at ease since he or she will feel you are a friend.

h). You can say your name and then their name if you know it. State your relationship with the person to make it clearer who you are.

Seniors with the disease may not want to shake hands, may lose interest or simply ignore you. Some may not smile and can even lose their attention. Do not be offended for that is how the disease may affect the individual.

Being new to caregiving may easily overwhelm you. It can be exhausting, demanding, difficult and rewarding. It may also take time to learn how to be a good caregiver. Taking on the new responsibilities may need you to be armed with information that will help you adjust to your role as a caregiver. The role may end-up being a full-time job thus you also need to take care of yourself as well.

1. Start with knowing a family member’s diagnosis so you can plan ahead. You will be in a position to understand what is ailing the person who needs your care.

2. Have a conversation with family members on how you will be providing care to them. Talk about how you will be helping them in meeting their needs, encourage them to raise their concerns and discuss their roles and expectations.

3. You can talk about finances and healthcare wishes to be well prepared for the future and relieve anxiety.

4. Having your priorities right will help in transitioning into an experienced caregiver for you will know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. You will also be in control and ensure your parents get the proper care they need. Plans and schedules will help reduce stress levels as well.

5. You can ask for help from close friends and family members. Discuss what is needed including care and assistance. Do not forget to include the care recipient. If other people are helping out you can organize and keep track of when and what they are doing.

6. Do not feel isolated while providing care to the seniors. Find support from online or in-person groups to help in connecting with other people in the same circumstances. You can also find support from the family including siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews and distant relatives. Your neighbors, acquaintances and friends may want to get involved.

7. Taking on the caregiver’s role may involve doing a lot of activities. Whatever duties you may have and need help with you can take advantage of community resources such as adult day services and home delivered meals.

To grow a healing garden you may need herbs such as peppermint, rosemary, lavender, sage, thyme, chamomile, lemon balm and dog rose inclusive of many others. Herbal supplements in a senior diet can boost your health tremendously. Furthermore, a healing garden is a place where you can unwind, it can increase your ability to rejuvenate and heal as well. However, please consult with your doctor especially if you are already in maintenance medication as herbal preparation can have adverse reaction to the drug you are currently taking.

Healing gardens are commonly found in hospitals, long-term care facilities, substance abuse centers and retirement homes where family members and patients can work the garden but you can grow one as well.

Things you may require to have in a healing garden:

i. Sunlight
ii. Herbs
iii. Seating
iv. Walking pathway
v. Water garden
vi. Electrical outlet
vii. Courtyard

Tips

a. Choose medicinal herbs with aromatic flowers and leaves

The euphoric scent of herbs and flowers will not only help soothe your emotions, promote relaxation and relive stress but also attract birds and butterflies. Your healing garden will be a busy hub of activities. Bees can also visit your garden which is good because they can help in pollinating your plants. The flowers will be enchanting to the eyes as well while making the garden beautiful.

b. Attract wildlife

Your garden will be livelier if you can attract more wildlife other than birds, bees and butterflies. A pond is a great feature that can attract other creatures such as newts, dragon flies, frogs and water insects. More wildlife will make your garden look more natural and have a thriving habitat.

c. Choose a strategic spot

The area you choose for your garden should be functional and have a natural layout. If you are not able to identify an ideal spot you can seek the advice of a landscaper. The layout should be such that you can walk through the garden with ease and locate things that are pleasing to look at. You may also add seating to take periodic breaks and take in the relaxing atmosphere.

You can use your balcony or patio if you do not have a yard where you can create your healing garden. The healing power of your garden will be right next to you.

Family members usually do help care for their ill loved ones and they may spend lots of time and energy doing it. In fact, family members may be under great stress and tension from trying to accomplish their own usual roles while also caring for a sick person. A caregiver who doesn’t have help can easily burn out.

Often the job of giving care for a sick person falls mainly on a female family member such as the wife, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, or sister of the patient. This person may have to shop, cook, run errands, do laundry, and even hold a job while also trying to care for the patient when you aren’t there. If the patient has a long-term illness, this caregiver could be facing years of hard work.

That’s why it is very important for every family member to support primary caregivers. You can do this in many ways. For one, you can urge the caregiver to talk about how she’s holding up. Ask her to talk about herself and how she’s feeling. Use empathic instead of sympathetic techniques when working with the patient and caregivers.

Ask the caregiver if she or he knows someone who can help her get through the hardships of caregiving. Does she have a friend or someone from church who could watch the kids, help with laundry, or sit with the patient while she or he rests or does something fun?

As much as possible, help the caregiver learn safe and quick ways to care for the patient by attending forums and seminars – even local group sessions with professional caregivers, if you have one in your area. Make sure she uses safe body positions to avoid getting hurt. Praise her and help her hone her abilities as she cares for the patient.

Urge her to take care of herself. That means eating right, exercising, and trying to relax whenever possible. Local services may be available to help her, such as support groups, respite care, Meals On Wheels, and groups for people with specific illnesses, such as diabetes or cancer.

It is important to note if you think the patient’s main caregiver is getting exhausted, angry, or resentful. Be on the lookout for sadness, depression, and any mention of suicide or “giving up.” Use her exact accurate words or your observations rather than contributing your opinion when reporting incidents of such to patient’s doctor or health care provider. Use the services of a medical social worker to help caregivers with emotional and financial needs whenever possible.