Seniors Site

Marriage must be one of those things that cannot be hindered by age. Marriage is an ageless affair and it can be enjoyed by men and women regardless of age, the same way one can feel discontented or trapped in a loveless marriage, except of course if you are still below the marrying age. Let’s just assume that everyone who happens to be reading this material is old enough to understand what marriage really means.

Personally, it’s inspiring to see an old couple still enjoying their time together. For those who grew skeptic of fairy tales or those who have had bad marriages and got too burned to ever believe that marriages can be happier, there’s still hope. If you take a closer look at things, you’ll see that marriage is actually a two-way street and no matter how you deny having any hand in the failed marriage, it’s always you and your partner, no one else.

Of course, who wouldn’t want to grow old with someone they really love? The problem is, it is easy to fall in love and stay in love with a person who doesn’t live under the same roof that shelters your head! Disagreements start from the day this other person invades your space and privacy. In actuality, marriage is a never-ending commitment and is dotted with trivial issues which when put together bring about other totally unrelated but equally annoying disputes. This is the point when you sit down and ask yourself, where did the person you married go and who is this monster sharing your home now? To avoid a situation like this and start living a marriage that is truly worth while, there are marriage traps you need to avoid and be conscious of:

·    MARRIAGE TRAP 1: Overly critical bordering to sarcasm. Have you ever heard yourself lately when addressing issues with your partner? Why is that there’s always that sarcastic itch which badly needed to be scratched? Criticizing won’t get you anywhere. Why not try addressing the more pressing issues which compel you to be critical instead of attacking your partner personally?
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 2:  Unwarranted accusations. How easy it is to blame the other person in the house when something goes wrong! You do this mostly to divert attention from your own faults and miscalculations to the other unknowing person. Go for solutions rather than wasting energy trying to figure out who’s to blame.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 3:  Incessant whining. Try attaching yourself to a whiny cat (or dog) for a day and you’ll soon realize how annoying it can get! It’s okay to let the other half know about the things you are currently going through but barraging him with unnecessary complaints is never going to make the marriage happier.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 4:  Demanding too much. In other words, please don’t nag. It’s okay to remind if the spouse is starting to show early signs of dementia but nagging is only for people who are too lazy to get up and do what is needed. Also, there are better ways to let the other person know what you need without sounding like “the boss”. It’s his house too, you know.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 5:  Bullying or malicious manipulation. As years pass, you’ll get to know more about the other person. The danger of it is letting the other person have the sword that can ultimately kill you or vice versa. If you don’t want this person to change, you shouldn’t force him to do things he wouldn’t do by himself.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 6:  Getting even. When you feel the need for vengeful acts, it usually occupies the mind 24/7. Sadly, it leaves no room for the love that was once there.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 7:  Ignoring what’s there for you to appreciate. Growing comfortable with each other has its own downside. For one, it is easy to overlook things, both big and small, and just see what’s lacking. You should know that in a situation like this, it is almost always your lack of appreciation that tears the marriage apart.

Single and alone? Nah. Seniors today can be single but definitely not alone come holiday season and there’s no reason to be lonely as well. Gone are the days when seniors mourn to death after a loved-one has gone. Of course, they will not be forgotten but it seems, seniors nowadays are more ready to move on and not dwell longer than one should. Thanks to healthier lives and positive outlook, being single later in life is not anymore considered as unique, in fact, some seniors who encountered a bad marriage in their midlife prefer to stay single until the day they die. Not for fear of having yet another bad partner but just because they have learned to live happily on their own.

There are many ways to enjoy the holiday season even without having to feel like a third wheel to your married friends or ending up as a nanny to your grandkids. Here are some few suggestions that you might want to try:

·    If your vacationing kids are not inviting you for an out-of-town trip this holiday season, then leave them be. Plan your own trip with your single friends and see how fun it can be! There are many tourist destinations that you can check out today at very affordable rates.
·    Most travel packages come with itinerary. These are fun activities to know better the destination you are in. Usually, they are conducted in groups of mix and matched people which can also be a great way to meet new acquaintances. What better way to enjoy your vacation than meeting new friends along the way right? Just think of the possibilities!
·    If going out-of-town is not an option for you right now, then you might want to look into other fun activities around your area. You can also take advantage of this special time to rejuvenate yourself by going to relaxation therapy sessions or just doing the things you love to do. If, for some reason, being alone scares you, you might want to visit an orphanage and share your blessings there.
·    Being a senior need not be boring. Visit exotic cities and get ready to be captured by its very essence. A city that is full of life never fails to amuse even the loneliest heart.
·    You have every right to celebrate even if you are a single senior. Bear in mind that you are not alone as more and more seniors are moving in to singletown looking for friendship. Also, happiness is a choice. It is your decision to stay happy or not so use it well.

Now that the tears have all dried up and you’re quite ready to move on, it’s somewhat normal to find the world overwhelming and a little exhaustive. Isolation can also be an issue to most seniors who find themselves suddenly single after years of being married or living with a partner. Although it may seem hard at first, the sooner a senior makes this crucial first step, the better are his or her chances of moving on with their lives.

Your family and friends are your best allies at the moment. They can guide you better in your attempts to return to the normal world since they know what you’ve been through. Seniors who lost a loved-one must know that they should take small, positive steps to familiarize themselves to their new lifestyle. Expect this to be a hard, frustrating road to take and it will take some time but with the right attitude and good support system, you’ll get there eventually.

One of the most common traps for seniors who find themselves suddenly single is rushing to find love even if they are not quite ready for it yet. Due to this, experts believe that a senior’s ability to good judgment is now impaired and almost always, it leads to impulsive decisions and more heartaches. It is highly recommended for suddenly single seniors to take his or her own sweet time stabilizing their lives first before looking for someone to love again. No matter how tempting it might be, loving someone has its own set of challenges to conquer and one problem can never be answered by another complication. Surround yourself with a good support system and heal your wounds first before setting for yet another challenge.

Find happiness in your single blessedness. Consider this as an opportunity to love yourself and no one else. This is the time to rediscover yourself, your abilities and your limitations as well. This opportunity can never be possible if you stay living with a partner your entire life. Loneliness is only a state of mind, and so is happiness. These two emotions are based on your mindset and mindset is something you can control. Don’t ever let your emotions get the best of you.

Grieving period has its own course to run, allow it and don’t rush things. Instead of looking for love, try to meet new friends and consider doing the things you want to accomplish prior to losing your partner. As much as possible, keep activities as single-minded as can be and avoid doing activities that will require you to have a partner. You don’t need to socialize if you don’t feel like it. Be with people you feel most comfortable with at the moment and wait for the right time to come when socializing feels normal again.

We say unconventional if it’s out of the ordinary, or what the society perceives as unnatural for some reason or another. Sadly, when it comes to romantic relationships, it should be within the same generation, no more no less, for it to be socially acceptable. But we all know that it’s not always the case in senior relationships. Some seniors may find themselves falling for someone half their age and the only thing that’s keeping them from taking the plunge is their doubts.

Falling inlove is a great feeling we, as humans, beg to experience even for once in our lives. When we love, it’s our hearts that rule us and it doesn’t always conform with our minds. Love certainly knows no boundaries, much less age. In addition, loving someone is not a game with certain rules to follow but it is indeed doted with challenges, more if it’s unconventional. This is what you expect in a May-December romance.

Aside from the issue of social acceptance, seniors who wish to engage in a relationship with apparent age-gap face many challenges ahead. Unlike any other regular couple out there, a relationship like this involves serious consideration and hard thinking. It is important that the senior knows exactly what he or she is embarking into and determining one’s true feelings for the other half must be realized first. Assessment is the key. The sooner you realize why you are attracted to this person, the better are your chances of a successful relationship. Ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with this person come high or low. Are you willing to accept this person come what may? Consider the fact that you may only be experiencing empty-nest syndrome and undergoing emotional turmoil right at this very moment.

One of the hardest things to contend with in an age-gap relationship is the generation gap itself. Your generation is clearly different from the generation your partner grew up in and it is normal to find huge differences between the two. A May-December relationship requires both individuals to adjust their lifestyles depending on what’s comfortable for both of them. You need to establish that common ground for your relationship to work. It needs understanding and willingness to grow alongside each other. Don’t be afraid of changes and try other things even if it’s unusual for you.

One of the dangers an age-gap relationship may have is its ability to change a person. I put emphasis on the word danger since it is not healthy for a person to alter his life just to meet his partner’s needs. You went ahead with the relationship as a couple bearing different personalities and backgrounds. While your relationship requires certain changes, it need not change you as a person. Self-identity is the only thing you can safely take with you if and when the affair dissolves. Guard it as much as possible.

As with any other relationship, maintaining a healthy communication line is essential. It is important that you keep an open line at all times since you’ll be tackling a lot of issues especially within the first few years of the relationship.

Cohabitation is when a couple chooses to live together without getting married prior to moving in. It is a mutually-agreed decision made by both parties involved and they are socially acceptable nowadays. In fact, it is considered as the best alternative for marriage since it is free of any legal bonds that come with getting married. Cohabitation is also great for “trial period” prior to getting hitched hence its nickname “trial marriage”.

For younger adults, cohabitation is great especially if things got too fast and they would rather take time to know each other more as husband-and-wife. This will also help them determine if they would be able to stay married to one another thus eliminating the legal entanglement if the relationship won’t work. In other words, cohabitation is supposedly a testing ground for the relationship’s staying power. If it hasn’t any, then you call it quits and move on.

On the other hand, cohabitation for seniors is much more than testing relationships and taking time. For seniors, cohabitation takes a whole new different meaning and sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to hear. Usually, it is not about doubting his or her partner but it’s a matter of having no choice but to stay unattached to their respective partners. Remember that these seniors belong to a generation which firmly believes in marriage and it can be doubly hard for them to defy their beliefs. Aside from that, they face criticism from their loved-ones, particularly their kids, and friends. Sadly, more and more seniors are forced to face these consequences in the name of love due to many age-related factors as evident to recent surveys. Some of which are:

·    Financial reasons. It seems that the biggest, most contributing factor for seniors to cohabitate is their finances. Some seniors see marriage as impractical or not an option for their relationship hence they prefer staying unmarried living under one roof. Then there’s the question of taxes and senior benefits that are bound to change if and when a senior decided to get married. In other cases, it is done to separate debt incurred prior to the relationship to protect the other person involved.
·    Assets. If there are assets involved, sometimes their families would step-in and interfere with the supposed marriage. To avoid this embarrassing situation, some seniors prefer to live together peacefully but without marriage than get married and have a crazy life.
·    Personal choice. It may be a bad marriage in the past that has left a bitter pill in the mouth.
·    Their own children. Older adults’ descendants play a big part on the choices they make for their own life especially if their children’s welfare is at stake.

Think Demi and Ashton or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, they are the very epitome of successful May-December romances. These celebrities risked this road and it seems that they made the right decision after all. So, if it really works, what sets it apart from all the other relationships and what are its benefits for both individuals involved in the said relationship?

In a May-December love affair, one partner is supposed to be much older than the other one, in about 15 years or so. In a relationship wherein the man is the “much older” partner, he is well-praised by his colleagues and fairly accepted by the society. Unfortunately, the same does not go for older women and most of the time, she is tagged with different derogatory names and titles just because she was able to bag a younger male. Of the two, one can only see how hard it will be for a senior woman to engage in a May-December love affair. This is also the reason why regular senior women seldom find themselves in a situation like this, except of course if you are a celebrity like Demi whose vocabulary doesn’t include the words aging and old! But it does happen, albeit all hardships that come with it and apparently, May-December romances work better and stay longer than same-age relationships.

So, how can May-December romances work while all other types of love arrangements just stood looking on the sidelines? Because, it has the right blend of ingredients perfectly suited in this day and age. We all know how maturity works for people. It may come in a much later time and it varies greatly from one person to another. In general, girls mature faster than boys in all aspects of the body, be it physically or emotionally therefore they seek companionship of a much older partner who can satisfy their needs and be able to properly respond to their level of maturity. Relationship-wise, it is ideal if a couple could grow and mature together as the relationship progresses and enters different stages of it. Unfortunately, maturity is a thing that cannot be imposed and also, it cannot be determined. In a May-December love affairs, there’s bound to be one nurturer and one receiver hence a balanced and harmonious relationship exists. Aside from that, older adults looking to break the boring and monotonous life they are currently living find excitement in younger mates. May-December romances allow room to grow for either or both individuals and it sure does widen their horizons, making them see life through each other’s eyes. Successful relationships are almost always based on how you can extend appreciation over each other’s worth and that is exactly how May-December affairs work. Patience is also there, usually coming from the older partner’s side during the first few years but is also adapted by the younger one later on.

Love doesn’t recognize age. It strikes when it does and there are no limits. In fact, seniors swear that finding love at a later stage in their lives proves to be a rewarding experience—something they never felt before. Experts say that maybe it’s because when seniors look for love, it is without extra baggage unlike most younger adults.

By the time seniors look for love, it is when it’s most convenient for them therefore guarantees no extra baggage for the new couple to carry. Seniors, just because they have been through many life experiences, are matured enough to maintain a healthy relationship that doesn’t go heavy on either side. This is assuming that seniors go for the ones within their age bracket since breaking that age barrier can be tougher and more complicated.

Seniors without any emotional baggage make a perfect partner for anybody, both young and old. This is because a person, when he or she had already accomplished most of what’s expected of them such as raising a family or giving something back to the community is more ready to love someone freely. It enables them to truly enjoy their partners without worrying so much for what the future holds. When seniors look for love, it is more for the connection and not for anything else.

Statistic shows that almost half of the senior population is single so if you are one of them, you would know that there are hundreds, even thousands of potential seniors who might be looking for love right at this very moment. Although hooking up with another senior must be awkward, it is good to know that there are ways to let love find you instead–that is if you know where to look. Here are some places you might want to check out when looking for a new relationship to keep:

·    Join short courses and exercise classes or any sessions that will enhance you as a person. Not only these classes will keep you active and moving but also it provides a great way for you to interact with people within your line of interest. It provides you and your potential partner that elusive common ground.
·    Going back to school, whether it’s for finishing your college degree or pursuing your master’s degree, is a great way to improve your personality especially if you are looking forward in entering the workforce again. Moreover, you’ll be able to meet other interesting seniors who share the same experiences of school life.
·    Going out with your friends will help you unwind and best of all, meet other people.
·    Get a little techie and join online dating sites. While seniors prefer meeting their potential mates face-to-face, seniors can also try online dating sites since it is, more or less, safer than blind dates.

Are you growing tired of failed blind dates and fix-ups that usually end miserably? Are you losing hope in finding that perfect partner to live with you and care for you for the rest of your life? Most probably, you’re ready to throw your hands up in the air right now and preparing yourself for all those long and lonely nights alone forever. If you’re about to, then don’t do it yet. There’s still one reason not to and this is something that might work since its success rate is higher than traditional means:  the senior online dating sites.

Senior online dating is gaining popularity among techie seniors nowadays; maybe because it’s convenient for seniors with limited range of motion and for those who don’t have much time on their hands to do socializing more often. Online dating proves to be a great way to meet new people in and out of the city you’re currently living in. Senior online dating sites are communities for single seniors looking for potential partners in life and are quite ready for love–again.

It’s quite amazing to see eligible seniors populate these sites. This also brings hope to single seniors who are still searching for love but haven’t found it yet. All you need to do is sign up and become a member of reputable online dating services, post your profile and join community forums to have a good grasp of what’s going on. Even if you don’t go looking for a date yet, someone’s bound to find you.

Although there are horror stories surrounding online dating, not to mention the existing notion that this activity is for young, free and reckless singles only, its success rate is quite high and it’s not bad to give something new like this a try. As with any other modes of dating, there’s danger; and quite frankly, some even find online dating safer than going out with a complete stranger. When you meet someone over online dating sites, you’ll be able to test the waters first before actually going out with that particular person. These dating services simply open up new horizons and offer a lot more choices to choose from.

There are many senior online dating sites out there that you can join; some of them are for free but you may want to stick with paid ones which guarantee quality, serious love seekers and of course, for safety reasons—the fee is not that expensive anyway. Here are some precautions before joining senior online dating sites:

·    Beware of lurking scammers waiting for the perfect prey. Although there are hundreds of eligible seniors listed to the site, expect half of them to be perverts; double that number if it’s a free site. The golden rule around these sites is never to trust anyone until you’ve tested their credibility.
·    Be sure to check the site’s membership fees and extra charges. Read fine lines and small prints thoroughly before signing in your credit card number. Internet safety experts always recommend applying for separate online-payment processor such as Paypal just for these types of activities. The same goes for email accounts.

Dating is tough, whichever age bracket you currently belong or how many dates you have scored over your lifetime. It is still the same; the anxiety is still there and first dates are always the toughest to conquer. It’s always a hurdle you should jump over with to get to the next phase of the dating process. Most of the time, it makes or breaks the deal as there are no second chances for senior dating.

Unfortunately, this is the same barricade which holds seniors back from dating again. Due to the anticipated inconvenience and stress of first dates, some of our older people tend to forego a potential romantic hook up rather than going through this exciting and fun activity. As much as they wanted to rekindle their fire, the thought of starting all over again seemed too much.

What seniors should acknowledge at this point is that being single again after so many years of living a loving marriage or partnership is hard. If you lost your loved-one to death, there is always guilt; if you lost them to a younger person then there is insecurity. Actually, there is always something else for seniors which, more or less prevent them from dating again.

In reality, seniors are picky daters. They just don’t date; they search for connection. They try to find that common ground when they are out dating and they already have their own set of rules and qualifications for their dates to advance to the next level. They know what they want and what to look for in a person; this is something you acquire as you age. Older women require different approach; they demand respect and sensitivity from their dates plus you should be able to understand that they have their own priorities such as their family and friends. Do not expect them to drop everything for just a single date with you as it is impossible.

For dating seniors, common ground is very important, above everything else. They go for the ones they are most comfortable hanging out with. Of course, appearance is always important but not necessarily noted in this case. Like stated earlier, seniors’ eyes are trained to see what they are looking for and usually, it is beyond physical attributes of a person.

It is natural for us to feel lonely and in return, start looking for someone to share our lives with. As humans, we would like to love and take care of someone then be loved in return especially within the later years of our lives. Don’t rush things and start slow. Friends are there to provide us the social connection that we need and most of the time, the easiest way to start dating is within your groups and friends’ circle. This is because you are already comfortable with them and they don’t cause you any anxiety. Moreover, you both know where to start because you know each other to begin with.

Now that the kids are out of the house, there’s no stopping a senior’s sex life anymore. Gone are the days when you have to snatch a little time for sex in between obligations and restrictions. It was even reported that seniors’ sex lives improve as they get old since there is more time to spend together without too much distractions. This is somewhat different from what younger people used to think about seniors and their sex lives.

At any age bracket, sex is important in maintaining good relationship with your partner. Seniors may not be hardcore but they surely are hot too! Overall health, right orientation and financial stability contribute immensely with the change in attitude for seniors. They are more liberated and open-minded now, unlike the prehistoric days when seniors’ sex is taboo. Let’s just say, seniors today are more comfortable with their bodies than ever before. They consider sexual activities as natural part of aging and not something to be embarrassed about. If you are not one of these lucky seniors but would very much like to join in the fun, here are some tips on how to improve your senior sex life:

1. It’s a given fact that as we age, our bodies undergo some natural, physical changes such as sagging and weight gain. For women, these things always hinder them from revealing their bodies to partners for fear of embarrassing themselves. Bear in mind that these are only your feelings and not your partner’s which most of the time doesn’t reflect yours. It is important to communicate your feelings, thoughts, fears and desires with your partner so you both can deal with it together. Open line of communication means better understanding of the situation. By improving connection with your partner, you will feel closer and more in-tuned with your sexual needs making sex more pleasurable.
2. Make room for each other. Time, creativity and passion will bring you and your partner to new heights and unfound territories. This is the time to feel young and silly once more and it is never a crime to act cute in front of your partner. This will invite your partner to loosen up and reciprocate your feelings. Try to experiment with different things you have not yet tried just as long as it’s safe, health-wise. Holding, touching and kissing also create the same feeling of closeness sex could give.
3. Overall healthy body will help you maintain active sex life. By keeping your mind and body healthy, you delay signs of aging. Regular exercise, well-balanced diet and stress-free mind will make you look good and feel good at the same time. It was also found out that alcohol reduces sexual function in both men and women, same goes for smoking. Join health clubs while you can, like they say, it’s never too late for anything if you start today. Also, training exercise such as yoga, stretching, aerobics will improve your muscle tone, making you feel sexier and will improve stamina and flexibility as well.
4. Certain prescription medicines affect your libido particularly those used for blood pressure and depression, so you might want to take a closer look in your medicine cabinet. Declining hormones can also affect your performance in bed. Moreover, poor blood circulation is a probable cause of erectile dysfunction in men. These are the things you need to address your doctor since these concerns are medical. A healthcare practitioner will prescribe right medications in right dosages for you.

Seniors’ sex life should not be restrained just because it is something expected with age. If you enjoy sex, there is no need to slow down. For seniors, sex is not something you do for lust anymore. This is something they share with their partner emotionally and physically. It may not be as often as you used to but love will still be there no matter what.