Seniors Site

As much as we seniors would like to keep our kids nearby for the rest of our lives, doing so is quite impossible, not to mention inappropriate. As soon as they find a way, they fly away from home, some even as far away from home as possible. Our children’s dreams cannot be hindered by our wants and needs, in order to fulfill their own dreams, they needed to find their own way and hopefully, not forgetting their way back home.

However, expressing love and care for someone living far away from us is indeed difficult, especially if we were never given a chance to be with them in the first place. Considering these things, I would say that long-distance grandparenting is much more difficult than having a grownup child living miles away from you. The hardest must be connecting with your grandchild.

But, as grandparents, we should know that it is not impossible to connect with our grandkids, know us as a person and eventually make us part of their lives, if we only persist. Do take note though that, family counselors strongly suggest that grandparents should make the move while their grandkids are still young and no later than that since kids are more receptive and emotionally “open” to people than teens tend to be. Aside from that, a grandchild knowing you as a grandparent since childhood makes the bond much stronger and the communication lines more open.

Seniors who successfully maintained a good long distance grandkid-grandparent relationship recommend that you do the following:

•    Be there as much as possible. While it is quite impossible for you to be there for them physically, you should make the child feel comfortable enough to contact you when he or she feels like it or whenever needed.
•    Take advantage of what technology has to offer. There are many ways to make yourself available for your grandkids. Learning the ropes online will tremendously boost your chances of connecting to these younger ones. Try popular social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook especially if your grandkids are teens. You are most likely to find them there.
•    Staying in touch. You must remember that in a child’s world, everyday is a new adventure. Vanishing for a month or two means you missed a whole lot in your grandchild’s life and sadly, this would mean you have to start all over again.
•    Bonding time is still important. Even if you make it a point to call them every single day, nothing beats spending time with them physically. Invite them over during vacations or visit their place if you have time. Planning a trip with them can also make the two of you closer.

Grief is a natural, emotional response of a human although it may vary in intensity from one human to another. Usually, a person may experience grief if he or she loses a loved-one or mourning for the death of someone very close to their heart. In some instances, grief presents itself in unusual situations too, like when you are annoyed or frustrated. Like I said earlier, it just varies in intensity and grieving time—all depends on how you, as a person, handle grief.
However, in seniors, grief is an altogether different feeling or set of emotions. Usually, bereavement is only a catalyst—a breaking point—of each and every lose we have had in the past. Failed relationships, dreams unfulfilled, even your deteriorating health. Considering all these, grief is more powerful in seniors, more real, making it harder for seniors to deal with and for people around them to understand.
Grief has two sets of symptoms, one would be physical and the other, mental or emotional. Physical symptoms of grief in seniors are easier to detect since it can be seen and observed by the naked eye. You would know if a senior is suffering from grief if he or she demonstrates the following, except of course if there is an existing illness which can be held liable for these symptoms:
•    Weight loss
•    Loss of appetite
•    Fatigue
•    Chest pains
•    Abdominal pain
•    Headaches
•    Sleeping problems
•    Nausea
Emotional symptoms of grief in seniors, on the other hand, are:
•    Anxiety
•    Sense of guilt
•    Anger
•    Absent-mindedness
•    Overwhelming sadness
Seniors and caregivers should take note that the best remedy for grief is to give it some time. Accepting it and learning how to deal with it would be the best thing to do while waiting for time to do its job. Generally, grief has stages, although you may find yourself going back and forth stages. Don’t let it scare you though, it doesn’t mean you are not moving forward or not making any progress at all. Just as long as you recognize grief, you are doing just fine. These stages are:
•    Denial
•    Anger
•    Bargaining
•    Depression
•    Acceptance
It is important that you go through each stage. At some point in time, you may find yourself too close to accepting the loss, only to realize that you are really bargaining for something impossible. Dealing with a loss can be hard, especially if the sufferer is resistant to any form of help. Don’t get offended if a grieving friend refuses your help, the more they refuse it, the more they need it, only they are not ready for it. If you find yourself in a situation like this, just stay within an arm’s length, respecting the grieving senior’s privacy but never really too far away if he or she needs help.

Time and again, I post safety tips for seniors. It’s because I believe people my age are usually in dire risk in emergency situations like earthquakes and fire. Aside from that, due to limited range of motion, seniors were left behind most of the time. Although I really couldn’t blame their caregivers, considering basic human instinct to save themselves first kicking in, helpless seniors are often left to protect themselves and squeeze out of the situation in one piece! Unfortunately, only a few manage to actually do it.
Also, take note that seniors are often, masters of procrastination. Ask a group of seniors who amongst them has an emergency kit ready at home and I bet you, there will only be 1 out of 10! That’s the problem with seniors, if it’s too bad, we tend to just delay it, hoping that it will go away eventually. However, disasters, as we all know, strike at most inconvenient times—usually when we are not prepared for it—and now that different parts of the world experienced strong earthquakes with disastrous results, we should plan for it now more than ever!
Earthquake preparedness involves what a senior should do before an earthquake strikes. One of the first things you should check is how “prepared” your surroundings are, especially within places you are most likely to be found such as your office or your favorite spot in the house. Imagine yourself in case of an earthquake such as: where you should go or how to get there safely. Make sure nothing could fall on you like bookshelf or any heavy object. If these things cannot be avoided, secure them to the wall so they will not topple over. Prepare an emergency kit enough to last you three days. That’s enough time for your local government to reach and assist your with your basic needs. Your emergency kit should compose of medications, food and water, your personal needs such as canes and prescription glasses and flashlights.
During an earthquake, the only thing you should do is protect your head at all times. The rule of thumb is to dock, cover the head and hold on. The safest locations are doorframes and under a sturdy table or desk, if you can get under it without hurting yourself.  If it’s impossible to move at all, then stay where you are as it is possibly the safest as of the moment.
Right after the earthquake, stay calm and stay prepared, in case an aftershock occurs. Assess damage, if there’s any. Notify your neighbors that you are okay and if you plan to stay with them, leave a note to let people who are concerned about your safety know where you are at the moment.

This amuses me, as I am guilty as charged! Sometimes I use my apparent forgetfulness as an excuse when it’s really a case of procrastination and I must admit, most of whom I have caused trouble due to my love for excessive procrastinating did accept my excuse without an iota of doubt. Of course, at the back of my mind, I feel guilt and sometimes the nagging feeling to cram and still finish my tasks—which are now seriously delayed—as, sort of, damage control.
I would say, with years of experience and expertise, me and almost half of the senior population—okay maybe even more—are indeed masters of procrastination. Honed by practice, we developed this uncanny ability to procrastinate without detection. Due to this, seldom do you find someone accusing us of procrastinating, only a nod of soulful understanding with a little bit of pity thrown to this potentially Alzheimer’s disease-laden senior. These were the times when I didn’t really know whether to laugh, snicker or feel bad about it. Of course, who would want to be suspected of such terrible disease? Unfortunately, drastic times call for drastic measures.
Procrastination in seniors is way more than just simple laziness. Sometimes we procrastinate to convince ourselves that we still have that much time on our hands. We would like to believe that delaying things will make bad, bitter things go away. That, I find true when I need to submit myself to an annual medical checkups. As well as, when I need to put together an emergency kit in case a fire/natural calamity/disaster strikes. No matter how important they are, seniors try to put these tasks further back in their “to-do” list.
Speaking of lists, I find that when I write down all the things I need to do today or tomorrow or even the day after that, I stand reminded of the things I should be doing in a somewhat chronological order. To further enhance my organizational skills, I number each task according to priority. This way, if and when procrastination attacks, I can just reschedule for the next day and just do those things that are needed to be done today. I know, I am a chronic procrastinator and there’s nothing I can do about it! In some rare days when I feel I can do so much, I try to do non-priority things in advance.
Expert says that procrastination can lead to stress and when you undergo stress management sessions, procrastination is one of those things that they will teach you to avoid. To some extent, I must admit, yes, but when you reach a certain age when no one is expecting you to move faster, procrastination becomes as normal as your sagging belly.

If there’s one group of people who gets classified in two contradicting characteristics, it must be the seniors’ group. Why? It is because we’re believed to be wise due to the countless life experiences we were able to gather through the years and yet, midlifers—particularly our kids–see us as gullible human beings. How on earth can a person be wise and gullible at the same time? Well apparently, or so others believe, seniors can be both.
I say, getting manipulated is not at all age-related, nor a phenomena that occurs only during the so-called golden age. Anyone can fall into someone else’s manipulative scheme if they are not too careful or they tend to easily trust what other people say. Aside from that, let’s consider the fact that most con artists pick on seniors as their prey just because these seniors are either too lonely and in obvious need of a companion or they have an amazing amount of money stashed somewhere—in some cases, both.
Sadly, there are other forms of manipulation which are not intended to snatch your pot of gold but rob your self respect. You may or may not recognize it at once but most of the time, you feel bad and really frustrated since it sort of “locked” you in a situation less desired. Manipulation occurs when someone have it their way and never bothering about you. It can be a boss who refuses to hear your opinions, instead, adamantly insists on doing things to his liking, or it can be a friend who always calls during ungodly hours just to have a chat with you, mostly to tell you her latest adventures.
What seniors should know is that, master manipulators actually size up their potential prey prior to moving in for the kill. In other words, they try to gauge the opposite person if they can be manipulated or not. With that said, you should be conscious enough of your actions and try to create an impression that you are not the type they are looking for. Here are the usual warning flags that you should avoid:
·    Being passive. You just let everything pass you by, even if they are annoying. You don’t acknowledge your true feelings just because you hate confrontations and are afraid that someone might get hurt.
·    Allowing others to control your life. You just go with the flow. You let someone else move you to places. You never decide for yourself.
·    Afraid of your own opinions. You get all nervous just by the thought of opening your mouth and having your say on important issues.
·    Fickle-minded. When you jump from one decision to another and then back again even without strong and apparent reason, it expresses your inability to make strong judgment.
·    Approval seeker. One strong sign of insecurity.
·    Not valuing one’s self. If you love yourself, you know that there are some people who are just not worth your time and effort.

If there’s one thing that surely boggles the mind, it’s the filing of income tax. Unfortunately, it’s mandatory for all adults who walk the streets and use public facilities. Lucky for those who’re able to hire a good accountant for they don’t have to worry about overlooking some things that may or may not benefit the filing senior. Since you’re paying these people good money, might as well have them looking through holes, nooks and crannies! But how about those seniors who only have themselves to rely on? Easy, just ask about tax counseling offered by organizations within your area.
As you can see, every country or state has their own set of rules when it comes to taxes, part of the reason why it’s quite hard to get clear tax guidelines over the internet. I know, because I tried so many times and I must admit, I grew crazy just by looking at them files. With that said, I’ll just speak in a general manner. If you think some of the things here apply to you then consult authorities within your area to know if they are indeed applicable under your laws.
Your filing status is one of the most important things in filing your income tax. This will be the first basis on how and what range your papers should be processed. As a rule of thumb, the status “single” is the costliest of all; “married” will be treated under combined income with your spouse’s  and the cheapest of all is the “head of household” wherein you are “single” but directly and financially in-charge of the whole household i.e caring for your elderly parents or sending your grandkids to school.
Gross income would be everything that has earned you in forms of money, property or even services. Because seniors’ income may come from many different sources and forms plus taking into consideration their age, they are usually given special treatment during process. On the other hand, gift and inheritance don’t qualify under gross income but are subjected under gift and estate taxes. Also, some supportive services are excluded in your gross income.
I believe life insurances are not subjected to tax as well as health insurances.
Furthermore, if you are paying for your loved-one’s education, you may qualify for some exemption so you better prepare necessary papers for it too. Compensations you may get from disabilities are generally not included in your gross income but there are certain types of compensation that may be subjected to tax.
Aside from tax deductions, you can also take advantage of tax credits to lower your taxes to be paid. If you are an elderly person, or disabled, you are qualified for special tax credit while caring for a disabled person will qualify the caregiver for a tax credit.
Bottom line is, don’t be afraid to include everything that completes your gross income then think of all those credit deductions you might be eligible for. Of course, don’t forget to consider your tax credit, if any.

Your fashion sense should not go as you age. Granted, it’s somewhat insane to wear the clothes you used to love 20 years back and seniors are encouraged to choose comfortable cuts in subdued colors but that doesn’t mean seniors are not allowed to look good and feel good in what they wear everyday!

Bear in mind that “fashion rules” for seniors are made with their health and comfortability in mind. We all know that sometimes being fashionable involves great stress and risks. For one, wearing outrageously high heels are not advisable for seniors since by this time, they couldn’t establish good balance anymore thus it can put seniors in great risk for injuries. No matter how healthy you are right now, being fashionable means knowing what looks great on you regardless of age. Fashion need not be painful; here are some easy fashion tips for elderly women:

·    Forget about fads. Usually they are made for younger people and somewhat unfit for seniors. Don’t seek counsel from magazines too especially if they are not for seniors. The best thing to do is browse through catalogs and online stores selling senior clothes. This way you’ll have an idea of what looks good and what probably won’t work for you.
·    Wear the clothes that compliment your lifestyle. If you are having trouble hand-washing your clothes then go for those you can machine-wash. Having trouble with zippers? Then go for Velcro.
·    Cardigans and sweaters are staples to a senior’s closet. Invest in them by purchasing only those durable ones since they can withstand everyday wear and tear. The greatest thing about this kind of clothing is that they know no age and they do come in cute designs too.
·    Go for comfortable shoes. For everyday shoes, go for flat ones. When you need to wear heels, opt to wear those low-heeled ones so you can still look good and stay safe at the same time.
·    Right accessories make an ensemble even brighter. Choose accessories that will compliment your style. Classic jewelries are the best choice for seniors since they can be paired with almost anything you have in your closet.
·    Lost when it comes to fashion? Take after senior celebrities. Choose your own fashion icon whom you can imitate. Just make sure that the one you have chosen is more or less your size and shape so that you won’t look awkward wearing her style.
·    Wear your self confidence. The clothes you wear don’t make you fashionable, it’s how you carry yourself. When you are comfortable with what you are wearing, you feel great. That alone will warrant great success in being fashionable at any age.

Of all the losses a senior must face in his or her lifetime, the hardest must be the death of a grandchild. The bond between a senior and a grandchild is known to surpass any definition there is in a dictionary. In fact, most seniors can attest to the fact that sometimes, it is easier to love a grandchild than to accept their own children’s fault and limitations. For a grandchild, grandparents are considered as heroes such that when they encountered any kind of discomfort, a grandparent can magically make it all go away. They are often considered as security blankets, ready to envelope them in times of need. That level of need makes it easier for seniors to extend their love, care and support for their grandchildren without expecting anything great in return.

Because of this ever-so-unique ties that bind a grandparent to the grandchild, dealing with the loss of the latter is both unbearable and confusing to the former. Some seniors who underwent a situation like this describes the experience as holding a double-edged sword cutting you both ways. You feel pain for the terrible loss but at the same time, you also see your own child needing your support now, more than ever. The situation calls for your strength so it is but normal for you to set aside your own feelings and mourn later. Also, losing a grandchild is a surreal experience which lends seniors a different perspective in life later on.

While mourning could be healthier for seniors when faced with death of a loved-one, these are the times when your innate nature as a parent kicks in. Most probably you will find yourself concentrating more to your own child’s needs and stepping in when the need arises. These are normal reactions and also, they are quite expected from a parent like you but you should also consider allowing yourself a little time to grieve. This way you can now share your strength to its fullest extent without feeling hurt, guilt and even remorse.

Dealing with death is never easy. As a parent, it is much easier to wish all the pain away. Sadly, it is something that is easier said than done. Seniors should remember that no matter how hard we pray for our children to get their normal lives back, it will take some time for the pain to subside–and still after that, life can never be the same again. Hopelessness may set in but rest assured that your presence during this time of need is much appreciated by the receiving end.

Your emotional stability is the most important tool you can use when salvaging a life that’s shattered by a child’s death. Learn to listen to your bereaved child and keep your emotions in check. Seek support when needed just so you will have an outlet for your own grievances too.

Remember those family trees with funny pictures you get to present in class when you were younger? If you happen to stumble upon one of yours or even your grandkid’s family tree project—if they even get to make those nowadays!—up in the attic today, you will know how good it feels just by looking at them and knowing where your roots are and how they have grown through the years.

Tracing your roots is a fun and fulfilling activity. It was even said that knowing where you came from is very essential to complete one’s being. It’s only then you can rest your troubled soul and be comfortable with your own person. Just take the case of an adopted child whose parents he never saw; just imagine the uneasiness his soul must have been going through all these years and I bet it won’t rest until he finds the only connection he has in this world—a connection only his biological parents can provide. Back then, tracing your roots can be a daunting task to take especially for seniors whose feet may be taken to different parts of the world in search of the missing link or a long-lost cousin. All thanks to the advent of technology, particularly that of the internet, genealogy is made easy and quite frankly, it’s amazing how people who are into genealogy help one another to find their roots the soonest possible time.

If this post got you interested with genealogy, you should know that there are about a hundred of genealogy sites in the web community today. This can make it a lot easier for you to start hunting down your relatives from way back when. The best way to start your adventure is to gather up everything you have—and might have—in your possession: pictures of family gatherings, documents, and even heirlooms. These are your clues in what seems to be a treasure hunt of your history. To make it more interesting, find a family member who is dead-set in finding his or her roots too to accompany you in this search. This makes a great bonding time for you and your kids also.

Interviews in forms of chitchats with relatives should also be performed when gathering clues. Your best candidate would be someone who was born several years before you, preferably a minimum of 10 years but when there’s none then anyone who’s nosy enough to know distant relatives unbeknownst to you would do fine. They don’t have to know specific dates or years as it may be a little hard to remember all that but names and locations can definitely help you so much. Jot down notes and go to your friendly neighborhood library where newspaper clippings are free for everyone to view. I hear these collections are now kept in slides for easy browsing. You can also consult your ever-dependable Google and just type in your keywords. Some areas still have a Family History Center, although it can be rare, but if yours happen to have one then you’re in luck!

Try to come up with important documents such as birth, marriage and death certificates, wills and just about anything that has a definite date you can look up to. This way you will have a clear point of reference, time-wise. When faced with a dead-end, it’s ok to feel disappointed but it also helps to bounce back and try other leads once more since this activity should be fun and must yield positive results for you.

As humans, we certainly do experience many kinds of pain all throughout our lifetimes and as much as God has given us the ability to feel pain, He too provides all the necessary tools for us to overcome it. It seems that pain is allowed to be felt for us to learn and see things from a different perspective. Pain’s never meant to damage our beings, they are just there to remind us that we are humans with feelings and limitations, otherwise, we will all be invincible.

Pain also teaches us life’s lessons. Physically when we feel pain, we remember it for as long as we live since pain usually comes with fear. We avoid it as much as possible upon learning how upsetting it can be. However, unexpected things happen even if we always step out of its way. One way or another, pain is bound to happen. Seniors know this all too well.

If younger adults are more concerned about their physical well-being, seniors on the other hand, guard their emotional beings with their lives since it is the most vulnerable at their age. Seniors are prone to extreme emotions but they are too “experienced”, enabling them to hide it successfully for longer periods of time. What seniors don’t know is, hiding pain is the unhealthiest act of them all and it can affect your overall health. It can cripple you too, making you unproductive and often distracted.

Pain is natural and it will come. What matters is how we handle ourselves amidst pain and our ability to bounce back alive and fairly unscathed. When met with physical pain, just go to a doctor and it will all go away. But with emotional pain, you only have yourself to turn to. Learn to be your own source of happiness and explore what satisfies your spirituality. These are the two things that will help you take emotional pain in stride. It is only normal to sulk and mourn, use this time to unburden yourself of the pain you are feeling right now, not nourishing it even further.

Don’t expect healing to come right after the mourning period. It takes time to heal, as with any other wound. Aside from that, mourning has its own course to run, that’s why you need to be patient and take everything one at a time. It’s a personal journey that nobody else can take but you. The sooner you recognize this, the better are your chances of getting over it soon.

There are things in life that you need to hold on to like hope, but when done for a lost cause, what’s there to hold on to? There are times you need to let go and move on, for your own good. Life will just go on and on, holding back will get you nowhere but where life had left you. Every episode of pain comes with renewal, look forward to one.

If at some point you feel there’s not enough will in you to use for moving on, talk to your healthcare provider and seek other ways to overcome pain. Pain only becomes more painful when it is duly entertained. There are some people who are more than willing to help us get over our loss, you just need to find them.