Anger, shock, disbelief, fear and guilt are some symptoms of grief. The death of a loved one is probably the most painful a human being can experience. It can bring about emotions that can lead to depression.

The steps to healing can help in acceptance and moving on. You can ease your journey in healing by having knowledge of these emotions that are naturally associated to grief.

Learn about the stages of grief

Understand the stages of grief to help you cope with your loss. The stages include denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance as well as depression. Some people do not have to go all through the stages to heal since we all heal differently. An elderly can experience one or two stages and heal from the loss.

Accept your feelings

For you to heal, you have to accept the emotions going through your heart. Trying to suppress your feelings may hinder healing. You have to allow yourself to ride the stages of grief. All sorts of emotions that you may go through can be more intense and different than usual. Accept the feelings happening inside you.

Express your true feelings

Learn to express yourself. Talk to people who love and care for you about your feelings. Talk about the emotions driving you crazy and be honest with yourself. If talking about it is too painful, you can write a journal. You can talk as well as write about how you feel if both ways can help ease your grief.

Maintain your health

Don’t forget to nurture yourself and have a regular maintained schedule of good food, exercise and rest. Take some time out to pamper yourself by doing something that would make you feel better. Spoil yourself with walks in the park, relax to music and get massages.

Seek support

Join a group that will support you in your grief. Those who feel your true emotions can offer help. Those who really care for you can give you suggestions and ideas on how to ease your journey and heal peacefully.

Other than the above emotions, you may also be content with your role in life as a caregiver to the elderly. You may experience tenderness, patience, gratitude, devotion and intimacy. Leaning how to cope with your emotions may make life easier and happier for you.

If you are going through various emotional episodes as a caregiver, you can try a few things to transition and rid of the mentally and physically-draining emotions.

Reminisce

Reminisce about the person’s life. Time spent reminiscing can help deal with your emotions. You can laugh about the past experiences you both shared. You can also share stories that bring fond memories of the past. Reminiscing can take you and your loved one back to a past that makes you forget your present situation.

Meditate

Take some quiet time away for yourself. When you are not taking care of the elderly, you can take some time and meditate. This mental activity can help reduce stress, decrease anxiety and promote self-discovery. Learn the various ways to meditate and find one that suits your requirements. If you do not want to meditate alone, you can do so with a group.

Confide

Keeping your emotions hidden and buried is not going to help. You can reach out to a family member or friend. Find someone you can talk to with ease to rid of caregiver burnout. Talking about what is going on with you to another person has great emotional benefits. You can do so when having dinner or bowling with the person you wish to confide in.

Ask for help

Help comes a long way when taking care of senior citizens. Do not be afraid to ask your friends and family members for help. You may be surprised by how much help you may receive. It could be financial or even support. Persons willing to help you can ease the emotions you go through every day as a caregiver.

Cry

Crying is nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel the need to cry, do so privately. Release some of the emotions that bring you down.

The responsibility of raising your grandchildren can be overwhelming. In your old age, you need all the support you can get to help in raising the children. National legal resource centers and community-based support groups can offer you all the information you need about grandfamilies. You can find helpful information on laws and policies, support services, benefits and resources.

To get started as a caregiver to the kids you may need several documents such as birth certificate, citizenship papers, dental and medical records, proof of your grandchild’s assets and income as well as yours among other documents. At your age, taking on the responsibility of grandchildren children could be quite challenging if you do not have the right support.

Persons you may want to talk to when raising the grandchildren include child welfare professionals, teachers, lawyers, pediatricians and other persons in your grandchildren’s lives.

How to find a good support system

You can find other grandparents in your local area who are raising their grandchildren as well. Grandparent support groups can be found on the internet too. Places to look for support services include schools, mentoring programs, universities, colleges, religious organizations and boys and girls clubs.

Help can also come from other family members. Ask for help from friends as well. There may be some members of your family who may want to help if you only ask. Considerations you should make when raising your grandkids are child care, education, legal issues, health, work, finances and housing and safety.

Challenges

Some challenges you may face as a senior caregiver to your grandchildren include access to services and information, financial issues, housing, current political and social factors, legal relationship and special needs if any.

Birth parents may also bring their set of challenges which can make it difficult to raise the grandchildren while dealing with the parent’s and family challenges. It can be difficult dealing with parents who are addicted to drugs and alcohol or are unreliable and erratic to their children.

Seniors with Alzheimer’s are given the care they need by caregivers. Treatment and care can be done at home or in a nursing home. Caregiving is managed over the course of the disease. Drug and non-drug treatments are administered to the person suffering from the condition to slow down the progression, reduce caretaker burden and increase patient safety.

Approaching Alzheimer’s when visiting or as a caregiver

Since the disease causes an individual to be isolated due to memory loss, you may be shocked by the initial treatment you receive from the individual when you visit. You may be treated with hostility, indifference or even ignored.

Family members who visit their loved ones in a care facility can take on a unique approach.

a). Families of a relative should be well-informed about the disease. Wearing a tag name before approaching can help them remember your name every time they forget.

b). Approach the patient slowly and calmly.

c). If you extend their hand and they do not extend theirs to hold yours do not be alarmed for they may not know what to do with it. If they take your hand and do not let go let them keep holding it.

d). Stand by their side so they don’t feel like you are in their personal space.

e). Do not startle them by approaching them from behind or greeting them without knowing what is on their mind.

f). You can bend to meet them at their level and make sure your eyes meet so the person can see you. While bending do not come head on for they might view it as an aggressive gesture.

g). Smiling will put the person at ease since he or she will feel you are a friend.

h). You can say your name and then their name if you know it. State your relationship with the person to make it clearer who you are.

Seniors with the disease may not want to shake hands, may lose interest or simply ignore you. Some may not smile and can even lose their attention. Do not be offended for that is how the disease may affect the individual.

Being new to caregiving may easily overwhelm you. It can be exhausting, demanding, difficult and rewarding. It may also take time to learn how to be a good caregiver. Taking on the new responsibilities may need you to be armed with information that will help you adjust to your role as a caregiver. The role may end-up being a full-time job thus you also need to take care of yourself as well.

1. Start with knowing a family member’s diagnosis so you can plan ahead. You will be in a position to understand what is ailing the person who needs your care.

2. Have a conversation with family members on how you will be providing care to them. Talk about how you will be helping them in meeting their needs, encourage them to raise their concerns and discuss their roles and expectations.

3. You can talk about finances and healthcare wishes to be well prepared for the future and relieve anxiety.

4. Having your priorities right will help in transitioning into an experienced caregiver for you will know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. You will also be in control and ensure your parents get the proper care they need. Plans and schedules will help reduce stress levels as well.

5. You can ask for help from close friends and family members. Discuss what is needed including care and assistance. Do not forget to include the care recipient. If other people are helping out you can organize and keep track of when and what they are doing.

6. Do not feel isolated while providing care to the seniors. Find support from online or in-person groups to help in connecting with other people in the same circumstances. You can also find support from the family including siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews and distant relatives. Your neighbors, acquaintances and friends may want to get involved.

7. Taking on the caregiver’s role may involve doing a lot of activities. Whatever duties you may have and need help with you can take advantage of community resources such as adult day services and home delivered meals.

With aging, changes in the marital role may take place. The division of work and labor, and household management may change after retirement. If the other becomes ill, one spouse may take the role of the primary caregiver; If a better half passes away, social relations for the one left may also change. As a result, spouses may call for a “renegotiation” of household chores as well as leisure time and social activities. An independent adult may find himself growing dependent of the persons around him and it is all associated with an aging person’s natural, growing need for assistance. As we all know, the aging process comes with major physical, psychological, and sociological losses as well as a diminished ability to compensate and cope up with common stressors.

One of the most profound losses a person can experience in his or her lifetime is the death of a spouse. In addition, widowhood can seriously impact a person’s financial status, social network, and also physical and mental health. Bringing in awareness of counseling services, support groups, and other resources that are available to help him or her cope and adapt to the loss of a spouse is of great help. Informing him or her about respite care services that are available proves to be helpful especially when the affected person is a caregiver.

Following a loss of this kind, remember that there are decisions that should be made and paperworks that should be filed pronto. Take the easy route and call Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213 if by chance you cannot find your spouse’s Social Security Number. 12 certified copies of the death certificate from the funeral directory or country health department are also needed. Aside from that, birth certificates from the state or country public records office where the person was born is also a requirement. To be able to prove your relationship and eligibility for any benefits, you’ll also need a marriage certificate on file with the county clerk where the license was released.

In instances where you can’t locate your spouse’s recent Income Tax returns, you could fill out IRS form 4506, a request for Copy or Transcript of Tax Form, with proof of authorization attached to act in lieu of your spouse.

If applicable in your case, you’ll necessitate Military Discharge papers to also prove eligibility for any benefits. If you don’t have this, you could contact the National Personnel Records Center, 9700 Page Boulevard, St. Louis, MO 63132-5200, and call attention of the branch of the military where your spouse has served.

Lastly, the Original Will as evidence, to show disposition of assets, which may be at the office of a lawyer who wrote it or in a safety deposit box, is needed. Arm yourself with Marriage Certificate, Death Certificate and Social Security Numbers for you and your spouse since some banks may have special procedures that would require these things. While losing someone is painful, it doesn’t need to be hard on your pocket too, if you’ve just lost your better half, make sure you don’t lose your financial security, and the earliest you could bring yourself to put these things in order, the better.

Thus the need to know warning signs and what to look for to identify health problems. It is important to note though that as soon as you see one or two of these signs on your senior, you must take them to a healthcare professional at once to be able to determine if their condition is still normal or if they need immediate care. Never delay response to these warning signs.

1. Having a hard time using their hands. If there’s one thing we, humans, use all the time but often got overlooked, it is our hands. Normal hand-things such as grasping and picking up things become quite a feat for seniors with health problems.
2. No interest in preparing food. If your senior used to love cooking and suddenly you find their fridge devoid of anything edible then it is time for you to intervene. Naturally if they are having a hard time using their hands and reading labels, there is something wrong with their health.
3. Sudden complaints of food not tasting or smelling right. Actually it is normal for aging people to suddenly experience loss of taste and smell however, underlying health problems usually brought about these sensory conditions as well.
4. Weight loss. Of course, as symptoms pile up, your senior is expected to lose weight – drastically.
5. Personal hygiene problems. Have you noticed neglect on their personal hygiene such as taking a bath and brushing their teeth. These things are hard to miss since they will definitely smell.
6. Neglect of their home and surroundings. Check their bathrooms if you are not comfortable in checking their rooms, since bathrooms are the first part of the house to go all smelly and undesirable when neglected for few days.
7. Repeating stories over and over again but not showing signs that they knew about the first time they told you that particular story. This is a clear sign of early dementia, if you ask me.
8. Depression. Sure depression has many signs in its own but the most telling would be mood swings, or worse, being sad and distant or angry and violent all the time. When you’re in constant pain, it is but natural to be depressed.
9. Chronic fatigue to a point where your senior no longer wish to go out of the house and would rather just sit on her favorite couch or be on bed 24/7.
10. Limited range of motion. The most discreet way of observing your senior if they are experiencing difficulty when moving around is to have them walk even a short distance. Take note of how they walk. Are they walking funny? Perhaps swaying from one side to another. Or dragging their feet like it was made with lead? If there is an obvious steadiness, you should consult a doctor.

While seniors are usually not pretty things to look at, there are joys in growing old – real joys – similar to that of what you had when you were younger but this time around, you possess maturity to go along with that blissful feeling. If you ask me, ageing holds the way to the kind of happiness you spent half your life searching for.

I don’t know about you but I noticed I am quick to let go of bad vibes now than 10 years ago. When I was younger, you don’t just mess with me but now, I have the tendency to let things pass especially if they will only bring about stress. I don’t confront people now, instead I talk it out with them and try to really listen.

Ever heard of the U-bend? It was believed that happiness is like a U-bend, highest points being the happiest and age is a factor. U-bend explains that people are at their happiest during their childhood and golden years but they are at their lowest point midlife. This may come as surprising for many especially those who are still nearing retirement and have yet to experience the happy feeling that comes with age but really, it’s quite understandable. Seniors, like I said, have already learned life’s lessons and more or less know how to deal with things which lessens the stress and emotional burden. Aside from that, the expectations are lesser and the obligations are lighter. These things alone are reason enough for seniors to be happy and content with their lives.

Your social life also plays a very significant role in your overall happiness, no matter what your age is. Young or old, studies show that a person who has friends or at the very least, sees and mingles with people regularly is mostly happy and content than those who seldom go out and interact with others, this is especially true for seniors who have mobility problems. Kids and pets at home prove to be a huge factor in a person’s level of happiness too however, fulltime caregiving to both kids and pets showed that these can trigger everyday stress as well.