Seniors Site

To be partial enough to senior gents, here is a post specifically written for you so read closely.

I know some of you are thinking – or maybe testing out the waters a little – of going back to the dating scene. It can be a little bit scary and doubtful since you may have been feeling out of practice and kind of rusty in this department. Never be discouraged though, below are some pointers to review before you get back into the dating scene:

* Times may have changed but there are some things that don’t really change. Like your being a gentleman to a lady or someone you have just met. Also, I understand that there are about a hundred ways to meet a potential partner nowadays, like online dating or in a social networking sites however, these methods prove to be a little bit risky for seniors so might as well explore traditional ways like meeting someone new through a mutual friend or joining groups and associations.

* It was said that the world has two females to a male ratio. That means that the odds are on your side. Add to that the fact that females outlive males so if you are one of the fortunate ones who managed to still live today, then your chances of finding a partner are greater than, say, 10 – 20 years back.

* Go out and make yourself known. Surely, you don’t expect girls to come knocking at your door. If you have decided to become a hermit inside your own house then don’t expect a partner anytime soon. It takes a little effort from you, you know, and the girls won’t even know you’re up for grabs if you hide under a rock.

* Make yourself presentable. A little of good grooming will not hurt you. I can understand that seniors need to be at their most comfortable but that doesn’t really mean you can let go of yourself now. Think Harrison Ford, that’s who you should be looking up to.

* Always be on the safe side. Just because you are now on your senior years, doesn’t mean you don’t have to wear protection anymore when having sex. Casual or not, you still need to be protected as AIDS doesn’t really know age.

* Don’t expect too much from an online dating site. Remember you are treading new waters here and at the same time trying to get back into the dating scene, don’t expect to be a master of both at the same time. Another thing, you are most likely to be having a lucky day if you find a girl that is truly looking for a partner since most of these girls online are just trying to have some fun without really exposing themselves to people.

In this society, cougars, or matured women dating men half their age, is not anymore frowned upon. In fact, in my honest opinion, it should be celebrated – envied even. Why? Point one: It is not easy to maintain such attractive qualities in aging women since your number one enemy is gravity itself. Everything in you sags and pulls so if you managed to be in your most attractive despite years then you truly are something! Point two: Snagging a date is hard but snagging a date half your date is astounding. Let’s face it, not everybody gets that bit of luck!

Take for example our favorite cougar Demi Moore, does she look anywhere near 50? Certainly not. So if you would like to land yourself a young man to date and be a certified cougar then dig into these simple tips and act now!

• Abandon all inhibitions. This seems to be the hardest of them all especially if you have been “Miss Prim and Proper” for too long that the title is now firmly attached to your forehead. If you would like to be a cougar then you must play the part unless you prefer to be living a double life like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
• Do a major makeover. If you have been monitoring fashion and trends, you know that what seems to be pleasing to the eyes 10-20 years ago are really hilarious nowadays. Good news is, you don’t have to sport that beehive-do or the raccoon eyes anymore when going out. Just buy yourself a couple of lifestyle magazines, burn the midnight oil familiarizing yourself with latest mod then hit the stores to update your closet. Just make sure that you are still age-appropriate. If you are not so sure, ask your friendly sales assistant and she’ll gladly help you choose what looks good on you.
• Invest on some really good undies. Yes, that’s right and no, I am not talking about Fruit-of-the-Loom-kind of undies but more of “Victoria Secret” kind. Your young stud would be delighted to see something like this underneath your clothes. Yes, comfy, grannie undies are definitely out.
• Avoid talking about your life’s lessons. Your grandkids would probably appreciate a little bit of that but definitely not your cub-date so cut the storytelling and do something spontaneous and fun.
• Be ready for some action. Not just closed door action but something that you definitely won’t do on your own like climbing Mount Everest or skinny dipping. You must remember, you’re asking for it, so you should be ready for it.
• It’s not all about sex. While it’s really hard to bag the right guy, as much as possible, try to date only the “potential mate” kind not the “one-night-stand” kind of guy. Except of course, if that is what you would really like to date.

No matter what you think – and I know, there are a lot of seniors having doubts about entering the dating scene again just because they are now old and gray -  there is no other right time for you to try and test the “dating” waters again. In fact, the older you get, the better are your chances of finding a partner for you!

Below are some of the reasons why you should not shy away from potentially happy and romantic golden years of your life:

1. You know what you want. By now, you are not easily confused of what you really want and need in a partner. Older adults have a clearer vision of what they are looking for in a partner and seldom engage in something temporary, unless they like it exactly as that.
2. You are surer of yourself. You know your strengths and limitations and you recognize and accept them as part of the whole you. Older adults seldom pretend, they come as they are so pretty much, there will be no unwanted surprises as the relationship happens.
3. Better judgment. It is hard to be living all these years and not be able to have a good judgment on people, young and old. Somehow, experience taught you what kind of people to avoid and whom to trust.
4. You now have priorities. One good thing about being old - and wiser, I assume – is that your priorities are now in their rightful places and you know how to manage them the right way. By now, you know how to balance your priorities, obligations and responsibilities without complicating other areas of your life.
5. Dreams and goals are never a problem.  When we were younger, our goals and dreams are usually the factors that affect our relationships and surely you have seen broken marriages just because it got in the way of one’s dreams. In an older relationship, this seldom happens since we’re almost done with them.
6. You don’t expect too much. Or if you have expectations, they are usually realistic and doable. You no longer believe a partner could give you the moon and you don’t expect them to give it to you anyway. You settle for what they are and what roles they play in the relationship. Moreover, you are not easily frustrated if you find a flaw or the partner came up short.

Who said that it will be easier to make new friends as we age? In fact, personally I would say that it’s harder than making friends during your prime years of 30 to 40. Personally speaking, I would not readily open myself to new friendships since I am very much satisfied with the tried and tested ones I have now. Let’s just say that I don’t have the energy to nurture new friendships anymore and the effort is not anymore worthwhile. Call it cynical but I have had my share of fake friends and believe me, it took me years to get over each one of them. At this point, I would rather enjoy the company of my real friends and not bother with new ones that may or may not turn out as what I expect them to be.
However, I know that making new ones is also important as it will widen my horizon and provide fresh views in life. With that said—and considering what was said in the first paragraph—we must make ourselves open to new friendships but somehow be able to detect early on if the friendship is worth nurturing, or starting at all. Here are some tips on how to start making new friends and spotting telltale signs if it’s worth having:
·         Compatibility. It’s like looking for a partner in life, only without the romantic feelings involve. Besides, you can never stand a person if you hate his guts, much less be a friend to this person right? You need to be somehow in-sync with one another.
·         Your willingness to open yourself up. Of course you must be willing to take chances, however, sharper instinct is a gift of age so you must use it to gauge the person you are dealing with. You should be wiser and always one step ahead but at the same time be able to give other people a chance to get to know you more and vice versa.
·         Allow some room to grow. New friendships take time to grow and being the other half of the said relationship, you must be willing to let it grow. True friendships are never instant, they are forged by years of togetherness.
·         Be honest. If you are looking for true friends and would want a relationship to last you a lifetime then you must be yourself always. Besides, it is quite impossible to be friends with someone for a long time and be a person that is not you all the time, don’t you think? If you want to make it work, they should be able to accept you for who you are and not the person you want to be.

Tired of traditional dating that usually involves too much emotion while giving you a not-so-desirable result? Hate to waste too much time and effort into something that probably won’t last? Care to break free of your stereotypical dating scene? Then perhaps it’s time for you to try speed dating!

I know. Speed dating and the aging population don’t usually go hand in hand but really, who says it cannot be enjoyed by seniors too? In truth, seniors can benefit from this type of dating since it won’t require one to invest too much emotion only to be disappointed in the end.

The beauty of speed dating is, well, the number of choices you’ll have at a given time.  They are a real time-saver. Also, remember our golden rule for first dates? Yes, safety in numbers; in speed dating, you don’t have to worry about your safety, and no one really expects you to take home a date after a round of speed dating. They are as casual as can be. Best of all, you get to meet other singles in your area or a group of people who belong to same interests as yours. This might be the solution if you are experiencing cold feet prior to entering the dating scene after a long time of being attached to someone.

Speed dating works in such a way that there will be two groups of interested singles, usually men and women, then they get to talk as pairs until you complete a round—that is, you get to talk with each and every one belonging to the other group. As pairs, you are given a limited time to talk, usually around five minutes which is just right to determine if there is a “spark” or chemistry going on between you and person you are talking to. If there is a downside to this, it would be the inability to further impress a person you are interested with since you are obligated to go through the whole process (switch partners every 5 minutes) and finish a round. However, the arrangement is best and beneficial if you happen to meet a creep and don’t want to be bothered ever again by this person.

Nobody expects you to like everyone in speed dating. Of course, that is impossible since we are dealing with a bunch of strangers however, the odds of finding a suitable mate is greater than going out on a date with just a single person. Also, you don’t have to prepare yourself elaborately for a speed dating, just a couple of questions to get you by and then you move on to the next.

Sex is good. At any age. Just as long as you can handle it. And it is not only by means of sexual satisfaction, it goes way beyond that, it even has health benefits if you want to go all scientific about it. First off, sex is a great stress reliever which may explain why after a row with your partner, all you wanted to do was to have a little roll in the hay. It is a good calorie burner, of course, as sex tends to be a lot physical however, there are some common misconceptions about sex that more or less, throw off a senior from enjoying sex. Below are some misconceptions and what seniors can do about it.

•    Hot sex is age-related. You know that isn’t true. If it were true then Ashton and Demi would have long been separated and there will be no successful May-December love affairs other than those unrealistically “unconditional” partnerships. Hot sex can be enjoyed no matter what your age is, it can even be done without penetration, as long as you both get yourselves satisfied with the act.
•    You must always have raging hormones. Unless you’re a late bloomer and you are just experiencing your “adolescence rush” then it is not possible to always be in the mood for sex. In reality, a normal person will be very well satisfied with average 4 times a week of sex and it will vary greatly from one libido to another. Never expect yours to be any different.
•    Everything you see in porn is true. So not true even if porn claims to be the greatest sex education instrument ever invented by man. For one, how can biggie penis sizes be ever true? You don’t just get that in real life and it is not always about the size especially at a certain age, say, 70ish?.
•    Being sexy is shedding your clothes in front of your man. Even your man won’t confidently shed his clothes in front of you even if his life depends on it, I bet.  Let’s face it, as we age, there are things we rather keep to ourselves and one of them is the shape of our tummies. However, you can still feel sexy—and actually be sexy without being an exhibitionist. Try on some sexy lingerie that will cleverly hide your embarrassing parts.
•    It is too much physical work. It need not be, unless you prefer it to be. In order to have a fulfilling sex, both concerned parties should be able to connect perfectly, not only by using their bodies but they should also be in-tune with one another emotionally. Remember, it should not always be physical, it can also be emotionally satisfying.

Who says Valentine’s Day is only for the young ones? Of course, it’s also an occasion for the young-at-hearts namely, us, seniors. I am not a bit embarrassed to admit that it is one of few occasions in a year when I get all excited, and dreamy, and all swoony. You can’t really blame me, with all the things I need to attend to 24/7, it’s kind of hard to get me and my partner a free time to actually go on a date or make something special for the other. It is the only day we get to spend time with each other. Just the two of us.

If you are looking for Valentine gift ideas, you shouldn’t be here as this post is not all about gifts but will take a little effort too. Valentine’s Day is not all about gifts by the way. Indeed it is sweet to receive a gift from someone you love romantically but it should be more than that, Valentine’s Day is a day when you should receive and give affirmation of love. That’s the most important part of a Valentine’s Day.

For the clueless, please drop the flowers-and-chocolates combo, let’s do something creative and worthwhile this year, what do you say? Try these unique but simple Valentine ideas for your partner:

•    Go out on a date like it’s your first time. For the gents, try to rekindle the old flame by asking your partner on a date and act like it’s your first time. That includes asking her where she wants to eat and what to do afterwards. Kiss her goodnight and you are sure to be rewarded the same night!
•    Redecorate your bedroom according to theme. It should be red, of course, however, you don’t have to repaint the whole room as you can do simple restyling tricks to make it “romance-inducing” such as throwing a sheer red cloth over your lampshade (just make sure it’s safe to do so or you risk burning the house), light a few incense to titillate his nose and perhaps replacing your cotton bedcovers with silk ones. Lastly, you can play soft music to maximize effect.
•    Browse through sex stores–online. You don’t have to go and expose your aging self out there as there are many sex stores complete with catalogues and tips online. This way you remain discreet but still be able to prepare for Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry about getting it delivered as well as most online sex stores promise to wrap your purchases as inconspicuous as possible.
•    Go for couple spa weekend! This is the greatest way to distress, renew and enjoy all at the same time. What’s more, massages are really good for seniors like you and your partner.
•    Eat outside, under the stars. No need for five-star accommodation and the works, just your simple backyard bbq will do just fine.

We all have our own parameters in life. Every man has his own idea of what’s enough and what’s lacking such that most of the time, especially if a couple is not running on same wavelength, a person may find their partners as “too much” or “too little” while the other half may find the opposite of that in the said person. Seniors are not privy to that. No matter how mature we have become when it comes to love, we seniors still need to be touched and nurtured from time to time. But how would you know if you are indeed meeting the standards for being an affectionate lover? Below are some characteristics of an affectionate lover and simple actions to express your affection effectively:

•    Kissing every time you see each other. Did you kiss your partner on your way out or perhaps when you got home? Kisses are not only good for your relationship but it does your health some good too since it triggers several psychological processes of your body which leads you to feel good about yourself. Kisses also suggest intimacy thus strengthening your bond as a couple.
•    Hold his or hand—even in public. The strongest confession of love must be the desire to hold your partner all the time, oblivious to people around you. I myself find it touching if my partner suddenly and out of the blue covers my head to protect me from drizzle. The unconscious action which uncovers your partner’s true desires must be the best expression of affection.
•    Snuggle whenever the opportunity strikes. Upon waking up, while watching TV or listening to music, after a hard day’s work or it’s cold outside and there’s nothing to do but snuggle. Snuggling is also good if you are looking for a way to distress so you must do it more often.
•    Say “I love you” every single day. This is you affirming your partner that he or she is indeed loved. Very much. There’s no way around it, if you really love this person, there should be no problem for you to do this every single day. There’s no reason for you to be embarrassed as well.
•    Snuggle when in bed—with or without sex. As long as you two sleep in one bed, there should be no “his and her side” of the bed. It is meant to be shared, and in order for you to get the full benefits of sharing a bed, you need to snuggle, and snuggle hard. Enough said.

In this day and age, I must admit, finding the perfect match is oh-so easy. With the advent of technology, particularly social networking, you can find and interact with friends as often as you like. You can indeed connect with your family and friends even if you are too busy to actually sit down and browse the computer since most social networking sites have gone  mobile too—that is, they can be accessed using your mobile phones. You can do it in any way you want and in whatever position you deem fit. This, in a way, widens your horizons in such a way that “dating” someone from miles away is not anymore impossible however, for seniors like us who needs a good loving and a physically present partner, here are some ways to turn your supposedly virtual romance into a reality:

•    Find a dating site that caters to a specific group. Dating sites have themes, if you should know. This makes it easier for those who are interested in meeting people according to their interests. For example, if you belong to a certain religion, there are dating sites which list members of the same religion. Or perhaps a certain age bracket to make it easier for you to choose?
•    Browse through your friends list. If you are an active member of a social networking site, let say, Facebook, you’ll be amazed to hear that there are relationships formed there—and quite successfully at that. This is because your network is, more or less, people you know and it’s not at all impossible to rekindle an old flame from exchanges made in these sites.
•    Make friends, then partners. Not because you are of golden age, you need to chase them partners like crazy! If you make friends as priority then let the relationship bloom from there, it doubles the chances of it being successful than if you jumped from acquaintance to partners.
•    Attend an activity of mutual interest. At some point, your relationship with your virtual-potential lover must take the next level and that is seeing each other. First dates are the scariest, I say. However, if this will be done in such a way that you both won’t feel examined under a microscope then there’s no reason for you to feel uncomfortable at all.
•    If you are to meet, do it alone. This way there will be no distractions and more time to get to know each other. Just imagine how uncomfortable it would be to be sitting around trying to get your date’s attention while she’s busy chitchatting with a buddy she brought along.
•    Set aside your fears. Yes, interacting over the computer is quite different from an actual date but you have to set aside your fears and apprehensions to make it work.

Believe it or not, it is easier to get a divorce than get married in America. I dare say, part of the reason why many marriages failed is knowing there is an easy way out even if the marriage was still salvageable at that time. However, we seniors belong to an era when marriage was a sacred thing that two committed persons engage in—until death intervene–at the very least, and divorce meant you failed. Apparently, these are things of the past now.

While we don’t condone divorce, we are all for saving marriages. Like I said earlier, marriage should mean staying committed to your partner and along with commitment comes the desire to make it work. Here are my favorite tricks in keeping the marriage alive even in your golden years:

•    Drop the inhibitions. So what if you can no longer lose that extra pound you’ve been battling since you gave birth to your firstborn? That’s not reason enough for seniors to hide their personalities—the one your partner fell in love with. Now that the kids are gone and you have all the time in the world, why not bring back the desirable you and make your partner fall in love with you all over again?
•    Believe in the power of words. You won’t believe how far positive affirmation can go. However, the only way to affirm your loving feelings is through words. Let your partner know how much you love and care for them.
•    Try something different today. Being in a marriage for only-God-knows-how-many years has a way of putting you and your partner in a monotonous everyday life which, by the words itself denote boredom. Doing something different every now and then not only breaks the ice but also introduces possibilities to senior marriage.
•    Leave no room for grudges. Sure your partner accumulated enough mistakes to fill a dam during your years together however, harboring that “dam” and carrying it around will only make your marriage as bitter as a balsam pear.
•    Recapture the moments. Try doing the things you and your partner did during courtship or perhaps visit places that are memorable to your relationship like where you had your honeymoon back then.
•    Spend some time apart. Not because you grew tired of seeing your partner everyday but to break the monotony. Like a breath of fresh air.
•    Count your blessings. Instead of focusing your energy in spotting his or her undesirable traits, why not start counting those you find endearing and appreciate those qualities your partner has.