Seniors Site

Al and Tipper Gore’s news of separation last June came as a shock to most American. No wonder, since it was about 40 years of married life for this high profile couple prior to the news and nobody’s expecting it to end like that. Well apparently, nobody except for hundreds of married seniors worldwide who must have understood what happened and what went wrong.

It is important to note that when seniors who have been married for 40 years or so suddenly decided to call it quits with their partners, it is not about infidelity—they rarely do. According to senior divorcees, it is usually the missed opportunity that pushed them to separation. Some seniors swear that the moment they heard their partners suggesting separation, they were taken aback—lost, might be the most fitting word, since they had no idea at all that their marriage was on the rocks.

So how would you know if your marriage is indeed battling the 40-year itch? Are there telltale signs you must be aware of?

•    Asking for space. There are actually two sides of the coin when it comes to asking for space. One is, sometimes you just need to have some time for yourself and pursue things without your partner. The other is, when you get irritated or annoyed when you’re around your partner and you never seem to enjoy even a second of it.
•    Dreaming about a different life. At some point in our lives, we dreamt of change especially during those times when we were growing tired of doing the same things over and over again but dreaming a life with another partner is a sure sign you are ready to separate.
•    Spotting—and magnifying—differences. Over the years, you must have grown familiar with each other’s differences and faults but finding and fussing incessantly at this point in time means there is something terribly wrong with the relationship.
•    Lying. Do take note that there are types of lies but lying when there’s no valid reason for you to do so means you no longer want to share your life with your partner.
•    You stop sharing your partner’s life. This includes his or her family, hobbies, interests and friends—and just because you don’t want to do so.
•    Your plans no longer include your partner. And if it is necessary for them to be included, you found yourself annoyed with the idea and sometimes would entertain thoughts of dropping the idea altogether.

Lucky are those who stayed with their partners for such a long time that it already became impossible to imagine life without the other. Some may look at it with a disbelieving eye and will try to find loopholes or signs that the marriage is not what it seems. Then there are those who can only stare with envy and wish theirs would also last that long. I say I belong to the latter since I am really a hopeless romantic at heart!
I would like to believe that it has something to do with the way I was brought up, or the family values I was taught as a child, or even the era I had lived in. Back then, jumping from one relationship to another was considered as promiscuous. Also, it could be taken as a sure sign of fickle-mindedness bordering to carelessness. Marriage for me is a lifelong commitment, a vow to last a lifetime.
Good news is, it can still happen. Their secret? Read on:
•    Bring no expectations into the relationship. First impressions last, yes, but it need not be brought into the relationship, much less into the marriage. No matter how you yearn for a prince or princess, you must not see the other person as your eyes would like them to be. You just have to love them as they come.
•    Roles are not important. It doesn’t matter who should wear the pants in your relationship or who brings home the bacon. What’s more important is what works for you and your partner.
•    Strive for one another. Work for your kids, support the family but ALWAYS strive for your partner. And when I say strive, I mean doing it because you want it.
•    Don’t be the one to introduce pressure to the relationship. As much as possible, make it simple and easy for your significant half. Putting too much pressure—or causing it—will only make your relationship vulnerable.
•    Financial independence is important, but your marriage doesn’t need it. While it is important that you have yourself covered in case something unexpected happens, it can also unnecessarily break a marriage. If you are more comfortable having your own money, then so be it, but it should never enter your marriage equation in any way.
•    Focus on your partner as he or she should do the same. You chose to be with this person because you decided to care for him or her. Once you entered a relationship, you make room for this other person in your world. Not only that, you move a little and side by side, you both be the center of the world you are trying to create.
Bear in mind that for a marriage to work, it should be both ways. That means, it’s you and your partner working together, having the same goals and dreaming of same lives. Being stuck in a one-way relationship will not and cannot work.

Marriage must be one of those things that cannot be hindered by age. Marriage is an ageless affair and it can be enjoyed by men and women regardless of age, the same way one can feel discontented or trapped in a loveless marriage, except of course if you are still below the marrying age. Let’s just assume that everyone who happens to be reading this material is old enough to understand what marriage really means.

Personally, it’s inspiring to see an old couple still enjoying their time together. For those who grew skeptic of fairy tales or those who have had bad marriages and got too burned to ever believe that marriages can be happier, there’s still hope. If you take a closer look at things, you’ll see that marriage is actually a two-way street and no matter how you deny having any hand in the failed marriage, it’s always you and your partner, no one else.

Of course, who wouldn’t want to grow old with someone they really love? The problem is, it is easy to fall in love and stay in love with a person who doesn’t live under the same roof that shelters your head! Disagreements start from the day this other person invades your space and privacy. In actuality, marriage is a never-ending commitment and is dotted with trivial issues which when put together bring about other totally unrelated but equally annoying disputes. This is the point when you sit down and ask yourself, where did the person you married go and who is this monster sharing your home now? To avoid a situation like this and start living a marriage that is truly worth while, there are marriage traps you need to avoid and be conscious of:

·    MARRIAGE TRAP 1: Overly critical bordering to sarcasm. Have you ever heard yourself lately when addressing issues with your partner? Why is that there’s always that sarcastic itch which badly needed to be scratched? Criticizing won’t get you anywhere. Why not try addressing the more pressing issues which compel you to be critical instead of attacking your partner personally?
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 2:  Unwarranted accusations. How easy it is to blame the other person in the house when something goes wrong! You do this mostly to divert attention from your own faults and miscalculations to the other unknowing person. Go for solutions rather than wasting energy trying to figure out who’s to blame.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 3:  Incessant whining. Try attaching yourself to a whiny cat (or dog) for a day and you’ll soon realize how annoying it can get! It’s okay to let the other half know about the things you are currently going through but barraging him with unnecessary complaints is never going to make the marriage happier.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 4:  Demanding too much. In other words, please don’t nag. It’s okay to remind if the spouse is starting to show early signs of dementia but nagging is only for people who are too lazy to get up and do what is needed. Also, there are better ways to let the other person know what you need without sounding like “the boss”. It’s his house too, you know.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 5:  Bullying or malicious manipulation. As years pass, you’ll get to know more about the other person. The danger of it is letting the other person have the sword that can ultimately kill you or vice versa. If you don’t want this person to change, you shouldn’t force him to do things he wouldn’t do by himself.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 6:  Getting even. When you feel the need for vengeful acts, it usually occupies the mind 24/7. Sadly, it leaves no room for the love that was once there.
·    MARRIAGE TRAP 7:  Ignoring what’s there for you to appreciate. Growing comfortable with each other has its own downside. For one, it is easy to overlook things, both big and small, and just see what’s lacking. You should know that in a situation like this, it is almost always your lack of appreciation that tears the marriage apart.

Now that the tears have all dried up and you’re quite ready to move on, it’s somewhat normal to find the world overwhelming and a little exhaustive. Isolation can also be an issue to most seniors who find themselves suddenly single after years of being married or living with a partner. Although it may seem hard at first, the sooner a senior makes this crucial first step, the better are his or her chances of moving on with their lives.

Your family and friends are your best allies at the moment. They can guide you better in your attempts to return to the normal world since they know what you’ve been through. Seniors who lost a loved-one must know that they should take small, positive steps to familiarize themselves to their new lifestyle. Expect this to be a hard, frustrating road to take and it will take some time but with the right attitude and good support system, you’ll get there eventually.

One of the most common traps for seniors who find themselves suddenly single is rushing to find love even if they are not quite ready for it yet. Due to this, experts believe that a senior’s ability to good judgment is now impaired and almost always, it leads to impulsive decisions and more heartaches. It is highly recommended for suddenly single seniors to take his or her own sweet time stabilizing their lives first before looking for someone to love again. No matter how tempting it might be, loving someone has its own set of challenges to conquer and one problem can never be answered by another complication. Surround yourself with a good support system and heal your wounds first before setting for yet another challenge.

Find happiness in your single blessedness. Consider this as an opportunity to love yourself and no one else. This is the time to rediscover yourself, your abilities and your limitations as well. This opportunity can never be possible if you stay living with a partner your entire life. Loneliness is only a state of mind, and so is happiness. These two emotions are based on your mindset and mindset is something you can control. Don’t ever let your emotions get the best of you.

Grieving period has its own course to run, allow it and don’t rush things. Instead of looking for love, try to meet new friends and consider doing the things you want to accomplish prior to losing your partner. As much as possible, keep activities as single-minded as can be and avoid doing activities that will require you to have a partner. You don’t need to socialize if you don’t feel like it. Be with people you feel most comfortable with at the moment and wait for the right time to come when socializing feels normal again.

We say unconventional if it’s out of the ordinary, or what the society perceives as unnatural for some reason or another. Sadly, when it comes to romantic relationships, it should be within the same generation, no more no less, for it to be socially acceptable. But we all know that it’s not always the case in senior relationships. Some seniors may find themselves falling for someone half their age and the only thing that’s keeping them from taking the plunge is their doubts.

Falling inlove is a great feeling we, as humans, beg to experience even for once in our lives. When we love, it’s our hearts that rule us and it doesn’t always conform with our minds. Love certainly knows no boundaries, much less age. In addition, loving someone is not a game with certain rules to follow but it is indeed doted with challenges, more if it’s unconventional. This is what you expect in a May-December romance.

Aside from the issue of social acceptance, seniors who wish to engage in a relationship with apparent age-gap face many challenges ahead. Unlike any other regular couple out there, a relationship like this involves serious consideration and hard thinking. It is important that the senior knows exactly what he or she is embarking into and determining one’s true feelings for the other half must be realized first. Assessment is the key. The sooner you realize why you are attracted to this person, the better are your chances of a successful relationship. Ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with this person come high or low. Are you willing to accept this person come what may? Consider the fact that you may only be experiencing empty-nest syndrome and undergoing emotional turmoil right at this very moment.

One of the hardest things to contend with in an age-gap relationship is the generation gap itself. Your generation is clearly different from the generation your partner grew up in and it is normal to find huge differences between the two. A May-December relationship requires both individuals to adjust their lifestyles depending on what’s comfortable for both of them. You need to establish that common ground for your relationship to work. It needs understanding and willingness to grow alongside each other. Don’t be afraid of changes and try other things even if it’s unusual for you.

One of the dangers an age-gap relationship may have is its ability to change a person. I put emphasis on the word danger since it is not healthy for a person to alter his life just to meet his partner’s needs. You went ahead with the relationship as a couple bearing different personalities and backgrounds. While your relationship requires certain changes, it need not change you as a person. Self-identity is the only thing you can safely take with you if and when the affair dissolves. Guard it as much as possible.

As with any other relationship, maintaining a healthy communication line is essential. It is important that you keep an open line at all times since you’ll be tackling a lot of issues especially within the first few years of the relationship.

Seniors need not be alone at the age of 60. There’s too much in life that ending it at retirement is almost a sin! Retirement is supposed to be a new leaf offering liberation and freedom from bonds that hold us down. This should be a chapter in your life when all you need to do is take care of yourself and do whatever it is that pleases you the most hence the need to stay in tiptop shape when approaching retirement.

Seniors’ lifestyle nowadays is gearing towards healthy living and staying in shape. By adapting this kind of lifestyle, they possess greater chances of enjoying their retirement since they’re able to stay active and keep up with the demands of life. Also, when a senior is healthy, it increases his or her chances of finding love again!

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle at 60 is tough and sometimes, it leaves no room for love since you tend to shuffle back and forth to doctors and other appointments. In this kind of pace, it is hard to keep up with one another since your partner is most likely be doing the same things as you are. While these activities are healthy for your own body, it is definitely not healthy for the relationship you are currently having with your chosen partner.

When seniors engage in a relationship, most of the time it is for the companionship it brings but if one is unable to fulfill this need then what’s the use of having your partner around? If your healthy lifestyle is already putting a strain to your perfect relationship then it’s time to apply some certain tricks to make “dating while staying healthy” happen.

The idea is to spend quality time with your partner whenever possible, unfortunately, maintaining a healthy lifestyle also demands a serious amount of hours per day. The trick is to combine both activities so that you are hitting two birds with one stone. Assuming that your partner is also pro-healthy, why don’t you plan an activity you can do everyday together like biking, running or jogging. You can even go to the gym at the same time your partner does. This way, you’ll be seeing more of each other everyday while doing the things you need most.

Dieting is always better when done alone but dieting with your partner is way better because you can be each other’s diet police. Also, cooking with your partner gives that romantic feel you guys most certainly need. The best part is, plan your “cheat day” together and see how sweeter it is when compared to just plain dining out.

Doctors and lab appointments? No sweat! Why don’t you guys go together and be each other’s strength in times of need or when something unexpected comes up. Sharing your life’s experiences with someone close to your heart is a very rewarding experience, like taking off a heavy baggage from your heart and letting this person help you in carrying the little of it that’s left inside. It makes life a little more bearable than normal.

Think Demi and Ashton or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, they are the very epitome of successful May-December romances. These celebrities risked this road and it seems that they made the right decision after all. So, if it really works, what sets it apart from all the other relationships and what are its benefits for both individuals involved in the said relationship?

In a May-December love affair, one partner is supposed to be much older than the other one, in about 15 years or so. In a relationship wherein the man is the “much older” partner, he is well-praised by his colleagues and fairly accepted by the society. Unfortunately, the same does not go for older women and most of the time, she is tagged with different derogatory names and titles just because she was able to bag a younger male. Of the two, one can only see how hard it will be for a senior woman to engage in a May-December love affair. This is also the reason why regular senior women seldom find themselves in a situation like this, except of course if you are a celebrity like Demi whose vocabulary doesn’t include the words aging and old! But it does happen, albeit all hardships that come with it and apparently, May-December romances work better and stay longer than same-age relationships.

So, how can May-December romances work while all other types of love arrangements just stood looking on the sidelines? Because, it has the right blend of ingredients perfectly suited in this day and age. We all know how maturity works for people. It may come in a much later time and it varies greatly from one person to another. In general, girls mature faster than boys in all aspects of the body, be it physically or emotionally therefore they seek companionship of a much older partner who can satisfy their needs and be able to properly respond to their level of maturity. Relationship-wise, it is ideal if a couple could grow and mature together as the relationship progresses and enters different stages of it. Unfortunately, maturity is a thing that cannot be imposed and also, it cannot be determined. In a May-December love affairs, there’s bound to be one nurturer and one receiver hence a balanced and harmonious relationship exists. Aside from that, older adults looking to break the boring and monotonous life they are currently living find excitement in younger mates. May-December romances allow room to grow for either or both individuals and it sure does widen their horizons, making them see life through each other’s eyes. Successful relationships are almost always based on how you can extend appreciation over each other’s worth and that is exactly how May-December affairs work. Patience is also there, usually coming from the older partner’s side during the first few years but is also adapted by the younger one later on.

Love doesn’t recognize age. It strikes when it does and there are no limits. In fact, seniors swear that finding love at a later stage in their lives proves to be a rewarding experience—something they never felt before. Experts say that maybe it’s because when seniors look for love, it is without extra baggage unlike most younger adults.

By the time seniors look for love, it is when it’s most convenient for them therefore guarantees no extra baggage for the new couple to carry. Seniors, just because they have been through many life experiences, are matured enough to maintain a healthy relationship that doesn’t go heavy on either side. This is assuming that seniors go for the ones within their age bracket since breaking that age barrier can be tougher and more complicated.

Seniors without any emotional baggage make a perfect partner for anybody, both young and old. This is because a person, when he or she had already accomplished most of what’s expected of them such as raising a family or giving something back to the community is more ready to love someone freely. It enables them to truly enjoy their partners without worrying so much for what the future holds. When seniors look for love, it is more for the connection and not for anything else.

Statistic shows that almost half of the senior population is single so if you are one of them, you would know that there are hundreds, even thousands of potential seniors who might be looking for love right at this very moment. Although hooking up with another senior must be awkward, it is good to know that there are ways to let love find you instead–that is if you know where to look. Here are some places you might want to check out when looking for a new relationship to keep:

·    Join short courses and exercise classes or any sessions that will enhance you as a person. Not only these classes will keep you active and moving but also it provides a great way for you to interact with people within your line of interest. It provides you and your potential partner that elusive common ground.
·    Going back to school, whether it’s for finishing your college degree or pursuing your master’s degree, is a great way to improve your personality especially if you are looking forward in entering the workforce again. Moreover, you’ll be able to meet other interesting seniors who share the same experiences of school life.
·    Going out with your friends will help you unwind and best of all, meet other people.
·    Get a little techie and join online dating sites. While seniors prefer meeting their potential mates face-to-face, seniors can also try online dating sites since it is, more or less, safer than blind dates.

Whether on a tight budget or have been saving up for a great, spend-all vacation of a lifetime, seniors are always ready to travel especially now that summer has arrived! All seniors love traveling to places where there is fun; memories are made with loved-ones within these trips so it’s quite hard to pass-up when an opportunity arises. Aside from our medicine kits, seniors are normally “low maintenance” to have around and they spoil their grandchildren rotten. Active seniors also love to do honeymoons with their partners every now and then so it is safe to say that most seniors are well traveled and wouldn’t mind visiting an exotic place twice.

But of course, older people tend to have their own favorite places to visit and would even dream of owning a house there at some point so it is interesting to know where these places are and what to expect when getting there.

Apparently, the top five favorite places seniors love to visit are:  the US, Canada, France, Europe and Australia. When a little short of budget, seniors would prefer “state-hopping” or exploring different states in the US. No matter what state you decide to visit, they will never fail to amaze you with what they have to offer for you and your family—companion, if in a date. In US alone, you can visit Las Vegas and have fun watching shows and concerts of popular artists. With lots of accommodation options and cheap flights, nothing could go wrong with Vegas; in fact, it is the most popular travel destination for seniors under a tight budget—you can also buy a quick wedding here, if you must! Aside from Las Vegas, there is Branson Missouri, then Washington DC; and of course, the sun and fun of Orlando Florida. Orlando is perfect if you’re traveling with your grandkids since theme parks guarantee 100% fun for both kids and kids-at-heart.

When in Canada, the group can visit the Canadian Rockies, Niagara Falls, Old Quebec City, Nova Scotia and Vancouver. You can find little gems of places scattered all throughout Canada that is why tourists never tire of visiting this place.

If you are looking for a romantic, unforgettable vacation then head on to France, where everything is shiny and sparkling. The City of Lights never fails to make every couple fall in love all over again; maybe because of the beaches, or perhaps the wine, but whatever it is, France is truly an amazing place to visit. When in France, drop by the Louvre, Notre-Dame, museums, the Eiffel tower, and churches. Don’t forget to sample their cuisine on your way out!

On the other hand, when touring the whole Europe, don’t forget to make a pitstop to these cities:  Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, London, Barcelona, Florence, Athens, Berlin, Venice, and Stockholm. Pictures taken in these cities always have the mystique of Europe printed all over them so don’t forget your cameras when you go.

The last on our list, but definitely not least is Australia. Sydney would be the most popular destination in Australia but there are many great places that seniors may want to visit while in the area such as the city of Cairns and the pretty beaches of Gold Coast.

Are you growing tired of failed blind dates and fix-ups that usually end miserably? Are you losing hope in finding that perfect partner to live with you and care for you for the rest of your life? Most probably, you’re ready to throw your hands up in the air right now and preparing yourself for all those long and lonely nights alone forever. If you’re about to, then don’t do it yet. There’s still one reason not to and this is something that might work since its success rate is higher than traditional means:  the senior online dating sites.

Senior online dating is gaining popularity among techie seniors nowadays; maybe because it’s convenient for seniors with limited range of motion and for those who don’t have much time on their hands to do socializing more often. Online dating proves to be a great way to meet new people in and out of the city you’re currently living in. Senior online dating sites are communities for single seniors looking for potential partners in life and are quite ready for love–again.

It’s quite amazing to see eligible seniors populate these sites. This also brings hope to single seniors who are still searching for love but haven’t found it yet. All you need to do is sign up and become a member of reputable online dating services, post your profile and join community forums to have a good grasp of what’s going on. Even if you don’t go looking for a date yet, someone’s bound to find you.

Although there are horror stories surrounding online dating, not to mention the existing notion that this activity is for young, free and reckless singles only, its success rate is quite high and it’s not bad to give something new like this a try. As with any other modes of dating, there’s danger; and quite frankly, some even find online dating safer than going out with a complete stranger. When you meet someone over online dating sites, you’ll be able to test the waters first before actually going out with that particular person. These dating services simply open up new horizons and offer a lot more choices to choose from.

There are many senior online dating sites out there that you can join; some of them are for free but you may want to stick with paid ones which guarantee quality, serious love seekers and of course, for safety reasons—the fee is not that expensive anyway. Here are some precautions before joining senior online dating sites:

·    Beware of lurking scammers waiting for the perfect prey. Although there are hundreds of eligible seniors listed to the site, expect half of them to be perverts; double that number if it’s a free site. The golden rule around these sites is never to trust anyone until you’ve tested their credibility.
·    Be sure to check the site’s membership fees and extra charges. Read fine lines and small prints thoroughly before signing in your credit card number. Internet safety experts always recommend applying for separate online-payment processor such as Paypal just for these types of activities. The same goes for email accounts.