Seniors Site

After officially dating for a number of years, or months, or days, you finally decided to move in with your partner. It can be, perhaps, to prove to yourself that you are ready enough to go somewhere in between or just plain bored living alone on your own and thought, it would be nice to be living with someone who will look after you. Now that you’ve decided to move into his or her place to start your lives together under one roof, you might want to consider the financial aspects of it.

Some of us may say it would be more practical to test the waters first before jumping into the real thing. Add to that the fact that divorce is expensive nowadays and can get really messy. You move in, you live together, you continue to earn a living and you enjoy; yeah, It sounds as simple as that. But how sure are you that the stability in our relationship is guaranteed? It would be best if you can prepare yourself in terms of financial arrangements.

Financial arguments must be the most common reason for couples to start quarrelling. Why not arrange everything financially so that it can be clearly understood before reaching the point of being misunderstood? Here are a few pointers for unmarried couples when it comes to financial arrangements:

Living in one roof with no signed papers, more or less, means you are not tied and don’t have obligations to your partner in any way especially when it comes to financial aspects of the partnership.

Never assume your partner’s income as yours. You can act as husband and wife in terms of treating each other but when it comes to your bills, treat each other as roommates - as two separate beings. Room mates do share responsibilities in paying the electric, water, telephone/internet or even apartment rental. It would be better to rent a place than to own and have shares in paying the mortgage. This way, one does not need to raise an eyebrow when the other partner spends too much electricity in watching television or charging gadgets. No body would feel guilty if a friend or relative comes over for a sleepover. This deal might sound ironic for common law partners, but I assure you it would maintain harmony in your relationship in the long run - may even save it.

Have your own credit card. Risk your own credit standing when you feel like shopping. That exactly follows that you have to pay it with your own earnings as well. No one gets blamed if you overspend. Your partner would not stop you if you spend too much satisfying your wants.

It would also be very important to have each other understand that your assets and possessions are only yours and yours alone. Whatever you earn or invest does not need to be consulted with your partner. This is one way of being independent as a legally single individual. Don’t let your partner affect your decision in this matters since you are not yet bind in any way.

In the end, it all boils down to one thing, you still tick SINGLE when filling up legal forms. Financial decisions have to be treated as SINGLE as well. Don’t deprive yourself of being happy, just remember to protect your financial status at all times. Some of the things mentioned here can be harsh but if you come to think of it, who wants to be the one at the disadvantaged end of the stick when your partner find himself in a financial rut? Happy living!

Seniors can be creatures of habit especially if in a lifelong marriage or in a relationship that has exceeded 10 years. It is, of course, normal to fall into stereotypical ways of saying “I love you” when the occasion calls for it. Like, sending flowers and chocolates to your ladylove on a Valentine’s Day, not even considering that she is a diabetic. Or perhaps organizing a massive dinner for two when your hubby is just too tired to even prop himself up on a chair for 10 minutes. These little things can cause disappointments actually, especially if you are expecting a reaction and not getting it exactly the way you wanted. However, if you think of it, you were not exactly thinking about making your other half happy but instead, you expect them to be happy which is not really cute, if you ask me.

So below are some of the new – old and rediscovered actually - ways you can express your love which your other half would appreciate more:

• Write them a love letter. If you are like half of the American population who don’t have any idea what to do with their hands anymore but to type on a keyboard, this is the right time to take the long route and rediscover “the paper and the pen”. They were your bestfriends when you started courting so it won’t hurt to give it another try.
• Prepare a simple, well thought-of meal and serve it during a mealtime when he or she won’t really expect it, like snacks or breakfast (do this if you haven’t done it before but if you do this regularly then think of another time when you haven’t)
• Bring them to a place where you call “your own”. It can be your porch or perhaps that little spot out the garden or the beach where you proposed. A couple always have a place so dear in their hearts so crank up your fogging memory and come up with the most memorable place you as a couple have ever been.
• Pick her flowers, from your garden. Or from the park if that’s okay, even your neighbor’s flower is good enough. It’s fresh and you’ve picked it yourself so it’s worth their attention.
• Do something together. Take the car and go for a quick joyride like you did when you were younger, visit places from your younger years, share a place dear to your heart. Share a little something more about yourself. They will surely appreciate that more.

For some reason, younger ones are quick to assume that seniors are no longer interested in sex and the likes. I’ve read many articles explaining that when we age, it is only normal to experience diminishing sex libido however, when I ask my seniors friends, this is not always the case and it is quite easy to see disappointment and frustration in their eyes. Truth be told, seniors are still interested in sex and the act itself, only, there were hindrances that aging brought about.
Below are some of the most practical tips for seniors to still enjoy sex without the nuisance of an aging body:
· Do something about those aches and pains! Imagine you’re in the mood for sex and your partner is agreeing, completely into sex. The rush effectively blocked out this morning’s lower back pain then suddenly, it came back – full force, double the pain, even. I bet, it threw all remaining sexual feelings out the window at once, never to come back. Ask your doctor about pain management, or if this is an occasional thing for you, then ask what’s safe for you to take and have it within reach. Take a pain reliever at first sign of ache/pain if you are planning on a romantic night with your partner.
· Do it as soon as you feel it. No matter where you are, as soon as you feel the stirrings, you should go for it! You won’t feel it anyway if you think you are in an awkward situation, don’t you think? The other thing that can effectively kill the mood is having too many rules to observe.
· Use aids. Not really sexual aids but things that can make your rolling around more comfortable such as pillows for support. Anything that can make your lovemaking comfortable, go for it. If you are having a hard time relaxing before sex – as you know, it is important to be very relaxed and focused when engaging in the act – try dimming the lights, playing some romantic music in the background and light some candles to put you and your partner in the mood.
· Don’t forget to lubricate! Men or women, bear in mind that when your girl partner is dry, it will be very uncomfortable for both of you so save your ladylove her discomfort and buy some lubricants. They are cheap and they are lying just about everywhere, no need to get all embarrassed about it.
· Make some time for it. Work usually got in the way, or doctor’s appointment, or your org. whatever it is, you just have to make time for it, set aside some time for sexual fun so that when that time finally comes, you are ready and really into it.

I have high regard for lifelong couples since they don’t take relationships as a game. In this day and age, 25 years of togetherness is commendable enough but more than that is truly admirable and somewhat inspiring. While I don’t have anything against divorces and breaking up, I just believe that it is important to really think things over before committing into something. That true love, when found, is really beautiful and could last a person a lifetime while if you try to couple up with every “love” that comes your way, you are wasting your time and you might miss your true love. Well, that’s just me.
Lifelong marriages have one thing in common: true happiness. A senior who belongs to a lifelong marriage is genuinely happy and content. Lifelong marriages have secrets too, as it also takes effort from both sides of the marriage. Do take note that lifelong marriages shouldn’t be one-sided such that one person loves the other more. What I found out is that love and understanding should come from both persons involved.
· Grow together. Not necessarily growing old together but the point is, humans, by nature, grow. As an individual, the need to grow is there; as a couple, the need to grow together should come naturally. Both should have the desire to grow and experience life with the other.
· Communication is the key. By the way, nagging is not communicating, I just want to make that clear. When you communicate, you talk, you listen, even if they are not too important things. Respect should also be there. When the other half is talking, you listen then in return, you should be given time to speak and be listened to. If communication is quite a pain, then that is a sure sign things are not working the way they should.
· Fight fair. When you suddenly find yourselves in opposing sides of an issue, do remember that winning an argument is not everything. Disagreements are okay – they can even be healthy at times since you will be able to get to know more about your partner but the difference is, you also have to know how to play fair and when to back down as well as accept defeat when necessary.
· Have fun and enjoy the relationship. Lifelong marriages are not a matter of being too comfortable with one another, it should be that you are still enjoying the company of your partner despite the years of togetherness.
· Stay physically and emotionally connected. The attraction should still be there and the need to cuddle should be as strong as the first time. Kissing, cuddling, snuggling and yes, sex, should still be part of the deal!

Trends show that there has been a significant rise on senior divorces for the last 2 years and it is steadily growing overtime. Although this is not a cause for alarm, and indeed it is quite liberating for senior groups, I find myself a little saddened about this news for I know how difficult it is to cope with life after divorce as well as how important it is for a senior to have a partner to spend their golden days with.

10-15 years back, divorce at 60 is next to impossible. You don’t divorce at 60 back then, you just have to ride the waves and if the relationship turns sour, you just pray that your partner just drop dead. Divorce would be the farthest thing from your mind, now it is the next thing to come in mind as soon as you hit the aisle – some may even be thinking of divorce even before getting hitched!

Personally, I think there will be no good thing to ever come out of divorce. It is painful. Sometimes traumatic, not to mention can be really expensive. Personal advice is, if you are not sure of your partner then don’t get married at all. I’ve heard couples opting to live together and trying the relationship for years before finally getting married. This way, they will be able to “test” their compatibility when sharing a home and just call it quits if it won’t work. Unfortunately, this was not the practice during our time. Back then it was “have boyfriend, will marry” hence the number of senior couples hanging on just because our roots say so. This also makes it doubly difficult for seniors to cope with divorce. Below are some things you can do to survive divorce at 60:

* Strength is your bestfriend. In order to feel strong, you need to make your mind, body and soul stronger. Divorce is indeed draining but that doesn’t mean you have to let yourself be drained by what has been happening around you. Strengthen your body by exercising, your mind by meditation and soul by renewing faith.
* Seek closure. One of the most painful parts of a divorce is not knowing when to move on. And sometimes, even if you would want to leave everything behind you and start anew, divorce has this power to pull you back and make you suffer a little longer. At 60, you cannot afford dwelling on problems of the past as every single day is important. Do what you need to do now and move on.
* Reinvent yourself. Nothing screams new life than reinventing yourself. It will also make you feel in control and you have the freedom to do whatever you want.

Whether you see seniors having sex as taboo or not taboo, you might want to consider it over as studies found out that it is important for seniors to maintain an active sex life even during their golden years. Why? Below are some of the reasons why seniors need sex:
· Sex is a good alternative to exercise. Okay, not that good but it’s better than none especially for those with exercise-phobia or those seniors experiencing limited range of motion. A good round of sex which is more or less, a lot of sweating and panting is a good equal of 30-minute light cardio and the best thing of course is that you’re actually enjoying the session.
· It relieves depression. Having sex can make a person feel good about themselves, during and after the deed. Sex makes the body release happy hormones just like when you engage in exercises.
· It boosts your immune system. You know that in this age, we seniors don’t have to be choosy; we must do everything to help our body cope with the natural aging process. If we are open to medical boosts that are called maintenance medications, you must also be open to try this very simple but alternative way of aiding your immune system. It’s as natural as it gets.
· Certified fat burner! You sweat therefore you burn fat. You exert effort therefore you burn fat. It was said that an hour of intense sex burns about 150 calories so if you are going for 600 calories a day, make sure you have sex for about 4 hours straight, if you can stand that heat!
· It protects your heart. If you’re able to maintain an active sex life then you lessen your chances of developing heart problems. This is especially true for senior men. Since sex is now considered as a form of exercise, your active sex life is more like exercising religiously.
· A good pain reliever. Since happy hormones are released, your pain tolerance is instantly improved. It’s like not feeling your toothache when you’re out gardening but moans tremendously when you’re home alone, doing nothing but nurse your aching tooth. The pain is the same but your pain tolerance is not.
· It reduces stress. Sex can help you relax. The act of having sex is considered a whole-body relaxation exercise hence the level of relaxation you are able to achieve in a full body massage can also be attained when you have sex.

To be partial enough to senior gents, here is a post specifically written for you so read closely.

I know some of you are thinking – or maybe testing out the waters a little – of going back to the dating scene. It can be a little bit scary and doubtful since you may have been feeling out of practice and kind of rusty in this department. Never be discouraged though, below are some pointers to review before you get back into the dating scene:

* Times may have changed but there are some things that don’t really change. Like your being a gentleman to a lady or someone you have just met. Also, I understand that there are about a hundred ways to meet a potential partner nowadays, like online dating or in a social networking sites however, these methods prove to be a little bit risky for seniors so might as well explore traditional ways like meeting someone new through a mutual friend or joining groups and associations.

* It was said that the world has two females to a male ratio. That means that the odds are on your side. Add to that the fact that females outlive males so if you are one of the fortunate ones who managed to still live today, then your chances of finding a partner are greater than, say, 10 – 20 years back.

* Go out and make yourself known. Surely, you don’t expect girls to come knocking at your door. If you have decided to become a hermit inside your own house then don’t expect a partner anytime soon. It takes a little effort from you, you know, and the girls won’t even know you’re up for grabs if you hide under a rock.

* Make yourself presentable. A little of good grooming will not hurt you. I can understand that seniors need to be at their most comfortable but that doesn’t really mean you can let go of yourself now. Think Harrison Ford, that’s who you should be looking up to.

* Always be on the safe side. Just because you are now on your senior years, doesn’t mean you don’t have to wear protection anymore when having sex. Casual or not, you still need to be protected as AIDS doesn’t really know age.

* Don’t expect too much from an online dating site. Remember you are treading new waters here and at the same time trying to get back into the dating scene, don’t expect to be a master of both at the same time. Another thing, you are most likely to be having a lucky day if you find a girl that is truly looking for a partner since most of these girls online are just trying to have some fun without really exposing themselves to people.

In this society, cougars, or matured women dating men half their age, is not anymore frowned upon. In fact, in my honest opinion, it should be celebrated – envied even. Why? Point one: It is not easy to maintain such attractive qualities in aging women since your number one enemy is gravity itself. Everything in you sags and pulls so if you managed to be in your most attractive despite years then you truly are something! Point two: Snagging a date is hard but snagging a date half your date is astounding. Let’s face it, not everybody gets that bit of luck!

Take for example our favorite cougar Demi Moore, does she look anywhere near 50? Certainly not. So if you would like to land yourself a young man to date and be a certified cougar then dig into these simple tips and act now!

• Abandon all inhibitions. This seems to be the hardest of them all especially if you have been “Miss Prim and Proper” for too long that the title is now firmly attached to your forehead. If you would like to be a cougar then you must play the part unless you prefer to be living a double life like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
• Do a major makeover. If you have been monitoring fashion and trends, you know that what seems to be pleasing to the eyes 10-20 years ago are really hilarious nowadays. Good news is, you don’t have to sport that beehive-do or the raccoon eyes anymore when going out. Just buy yourself a couple of lifestyle magazines, burn the midnight oil familiarizing yourself with latest mod then hit the stores to update your closet. Just make sure that you are still age-appropriate. If you are not so sure, ask your friendly sales assistant and she’ll gladly help you choose what looks good on you.
• Invest on some really good undies. Yes, that’s right and no, I am not talking about Fruit-of-the-Loom-kind of undies but more of “Victoria Secret” kind. Your young stud would be delighted to see something like this underneath your clothes. Yes, comfy, grannie undies are definitely out.
• Avoid talking about your life’s lessons. Your grandkids would probably appreciate a little bit of that but definitely not your cub-date so cut the storytelling and do something spontaneous and fun.
• Be ready for some action. Not just closed door action but something that you definitely won’t do on your own like climbing Mount Everest or skinny dipping. You must remember, you’re asking for it, so you should be ready for it.
• It’s not all about sex. While it’s really hard to bag the right guy, as much as possible, try to date only the “potential mate” kind not the “one-night-stand” kind of guy. Except of course, if that is what you would really like to date.

While marriage is a beautiful thing to have especially when you’re nearing your twilight, most seniors opt not to get married at all, not by personal choice but by considering the complications it may bring to their documentations and assets. As silly as it may sound, some seniors- and their daughters and sons, I presume- deem it beneficial to forego marriage and just live together to protect your assets. Of course, this can get a little offensive for the other half with lesser asset but like they say, love still prevails with or without hurt.

Understand that nowadays it is important to protect your individual and combined assets. Not getting married simply means simplifying things and it is almost always not personal. In some cases, it is beneficial for both parties especially if both have gone through divorce and their “beneficiary list” is long enough to confuse an insurance company. However, take note that “living together” has its own traps that may complicate things when you go away.

At some point, there will be “money talk”. Even for the simplest of things such as paying bills and opening joint accounts. It is best if you get it out of the way even before you move into the other person’s house. Good thing to remember is that in any partnership, there should be “house rules” for both parties. These are your limits and your rights, if possible, put it on paper. If writing it down right away isn’t possible, then grab a trusty video camera, hold today’s newspaper with dates showing and blab your “agreement” away. If you can do this together then that would be great.

Another tricky part of cohabitation is signing loans. It doesn’t take a married couple to co-sign a loan. Like in any other partnership, all you have to do is take yourselves to the company offering loan, armed with your proper documents and you’re on. This is not only applicable to huge loans by the way, getting your partner a supplementary credit card or an extension to any of your accounts is considered as co-signing or being held liable for the other person’s debts. Even if you have clearly indicated in any legal document that you are not to be held responsible for your partner’s debts, when you co-sign with her on loans, that will automatically make you indebted to the loan company thus affecting your credit standing.

Remember that one of the ideas why couples opt not to get married and just live under one roof is that it will be easier and less messy to end the relationship if it will not work out. With that said, you should also bear that in mind when it comes to financial planning and anything that involves your money.

Do you still remember the time when your kids were in their teens and you fret about their dating too early? Or perhaps getting scared when it was already past their curfew and they were still nowhere to be found? Or maybe, raised hell when you found out that they were smoking cigarettes already – and, gasp! YOUR pack of cigarettes! Well, let’s just say that you and your kid have just come full circle but accidentally switched places.

Kids indeed are hard to raise but just recently, I have heard a younger friend of mine saying, “It’s harder to raise parents, you know”. I laughed hard even if my friend was awfully serious about it. The problem? She just found out that her mom got back on the dating scene and took home a man 10 years younger than her. Not that you could tell the difference, her mom is super active it almost erased 20 years of her age in appearance and in my honest opinion, 10 years difference is nothing when you are on your 70s. But, it bothered my friend tremendously and there’s nothing else I can do but comfort her.

Funny how parents and kids automatically switch roles as they age. When your kids were small, they look up to you, depend on you, and never question your actions however, as they grow into mature humans – if matter of maturity has a hand in it – they automatically assume that you are their ward and they have to take care of you even if it leads to your feeling like they are treating you as a nonthinking person. I should know, the things we fight about, my daughter and I, one would think that I am so demented, I should not be allowed roaming the streets.

Then again, looking at it from their perspective, when a senior parent started acting strange and childish, it gets a little freaky right? And you, as the level-headed, mature one felt that it was your duty to butt in, even if uninvited. We, seniors, must admit, as we grow old, doing crazy things seems to be as inviting as ever hence the term second childhood.

As the older – and I assume, wiser – one, you should take the initiative to understand where they are coming from. Go talk to your kids and ask questions so you’ll know exactly what it is that’s bothering them. Was it concern? Or perhaps jealousy?  Try to keep an open mind when talking with your kids and never lose your temper even if they are openly picking a fight. Remember that your kids might be hurting and they would like to channel all those anger to you. Instead of letting their fear turn into anger, try to show them you are still in control of things and most of all, you are listening to their concerns.