Seniors Site

No matter what you think – and I know, there are a lot of seniors having doubts about entering the dating scene again just because they are now old and gray -  there is no other right time for you to try and test the “dating” waters again. In fact, the older you get, the better are your chances of finding a partner for you!

Below are some of the reasons why you should not shy away from potentially happy and romantic golden years of your life:

1. You know what you want. By now, you are not easily confused of what you really want and need in a partner. Older adults have a clearer vision of what they are looking for in a partner and seldom engage in something temporary, unless they like it exactly as that.
2. You are surer of yourself. You know your strengths and limitations and you recognize and accept them as part of the whole you. Older adults seldom pretend, they come as they are so pretty much, there will be no unwanted surprises as the relationship happens.
3. Better judgment. It is hard to be living all these years and not be able to have a good judgment on people, young and old. Somehow, experience taught you what kind of people to avoid and whom to trust.
4. You now have priorities. One good thing about being old - and wiser, I assume – is that your priorities are now in their rightful places and you know how to manage them the right way. By now, you know how to balance your priorities, obligations and responsibilities without complicating other areas of your life.
5. Dreams and goals are never a problem.  When we were younger, our goals and dreams are usually the factors that affect our relationships and surely you have seen broken marriages just because it got in the way of one’s dreams. In an older relationship, this seldom happens since we’re almost done with them.
6. You don’t expect too much. Or if you have expectations, they are usually realistic and doable. You no longer believe a partner could give you the moon and you don’t expect them to give it to you anyway. You settle for what they are and what roles they play in the relationship. Moreover, you are not easily frustrated if you find a flaw or the partner came up short.

My question actually is: why not? Younger ones may not fully grasp the idea of their older family members getting married but there is no reason why we seniors should not get married when it hits us. Like they say, there’s no better time than now.

However, some seniors are still doubtful about getting married this late in life – ashamed even. Don’t take it personally if few handful of your friends will take the news in shocked as it is not everyday they encounter a senior getting married. Below are some of the reasons why you should get married despite raised eyebrows:
•    Love and companionship. Aging alone can be lonesome. At this point in our lives, friends come and go, some die and others just fade away. More than ever, seniors need someone by their side to fight depression and loneliness and there’s no better way to guarantee a companion than by marrying them. Of course, love should still be there, no matter what, as it can get really annoying living with someone 24/7 .
•    Lessen your burden of expenditure. Growing old can be expensive, especially if you don’t have anyone to split the bill with. By marrying, you’ll be able to pool your money together and lower your cost of living. Just think of this, If you are to live together, you will only have one house to maintain as opposed to two if living apart. Same goes for car maintenance, food allowance and other everyday stuff.
•    Be eligible for tax benefits. Joint filing may not be at your advantage but certainly other tax issues are. One sure example of which is your estate tax and even your inheritance tax, both of which are lower than you would have to pay if you were not married prior to death.
•    Enjoy spousal rights and other spousal privileges. By marriage, you are automatically recognized for spousal rights and privileges, no questions asked. This automatically puts you as your spouse’s beneficiary to his or her pension, social security and life insurances. In some states, as sole heir to their estate if no last will can be produced.
•    Have peace of mind knowing that someone knows what you want to happen if the time comes you can no longer speak. Planning ahead will never go into fruition if nobody’s there to execute it. Having a spouse will give you your peace of mind since you know he or she will be there to decide and speak for you when the time comes you are no longer capable of speaking for yourself.

I admit, I was quite disappointed when I heard that another long married couple who have been friends to me  decided to call it quits, and that was just a day before Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver made their break-up public. It is not only disappointing, it could be frustrating as well since these break ups either represent times have indeed change or seniors are now fickle-minded about their choices.
I was proud to say that we seniors marry for reasons long enough to stick. We were taught to consider marriage as something you cherish and keep forever however with senior marriages breaking and senior couples splitting, I am not so sure  anymore.
But one can’t help but think, why are they splitting and why so sudden, after years of being married? In Arnold and Maria’s case, we know that infidelity might be the reason but I don’t think that is the entire reason behind their decision to go on separate ways. That can’t be, if you look at my perspective. It is important to note too that extramarital affairs are seldom the reason in 50-something marriages breaking up. However, it can be the “last pulled string” to most senior marriages.
According to my friends who recently divorced their longtime partners, their break ups are a long-overdue one. Most of them endured the years just because of the same reason why marriages within my generation have successfully made it to their golden years: that is, we were taught to stay married to our partners and never jump from a marriage to another. Aside from that, our mothers told us that divorces were just done in Hollywood, not from where we live.
Like my friends say, they would have gone through divorce earlier if they had guts to do so. When asked what they mean by divorce being long-overdue, the only answer I seem to get is that the break up was a result of accumulated things, resulting into the end of years’ worth of being together.
My view is that it is really easy to grow apart when being married too long. Just because you’ve been too comfortable with your partner doesn’t mean it is okay to ignore them. Sometimes, it takes a little effort to show appreciation and by doing so, rekindling the fire that was your love and relationship. I just hate seeing senior couples breaking away from their marriages since retirement should be the time when they enjoy each other’s company and be each other’s comfort despite all the hardships that come with longterm marriages.

Sex is fun, not to mention invigorating. Having sex is found out to be very beneficial to one’s health and best of all, it can alleviate stress. However, sex can also be a pain to seniors, well, literally speaking as there are hundreds of known bodily pain to seniors that can hinder them from having good sex! Here are some remedies for pain and discomfort for aging bodies while having sex:
•    For backache. It’s impossible to reach this age without ever knowing how important your back is when having sex. I would like to think that it is the part of the body that commands it all, well a close second to the things between your legs of course. If your back tells you that it is not a good time, resistance is futile, isn’t it? So what to do with an aching back? After taking your painkillers, for safety precaution of course, it is best to find a position that works for you and at the same time kinder to your back. Don’t be afraid to explore or have your partner explore, having sex is not only doing it standing and laying—it can also be done while you’re on your side, which most seniors find very comfortable by the way.
•    Vaginal dryness. Men don’t have any idea how vaginal dryness can ruin the moment. Of course, they won’t ever know that it can be as painful as hell. However, women do know and it is up to them to save what might be the night of their life! Women, I have one word for you all:  LUBRICANT. And not just any lubricant (no, your store-bought baby oil won’t do either), it has to be your drugstore-issued lubricant—or sex store for that matter, the one that is really made for sex. It is cheap, it is safe and there’s nothing embarrassing in purchasing one. On the other hand, if you worry that buying it is like screaming sex, then have your gynecologist put it on prescription, then you just have to hand it out to the drugstore clerk for him to pack along with your medications.
•    For post-surgery. If you are just recovering from a surgery or an illness, you need to take it slow. Better yet, ask your doctor if it’s safe for you to do so however don’t be afraid to cuddle as it can make you feel better. The key to enjoyable sex after an illness is communication. By letting your partner know your doubts and fears, you’ll be able to concentrate more on the moment rather than expecting trouble ahead.

It is not impossible to find love this late in your life. Whether it is a second-, third-, fourth marriage, or perhaps your very first, senior love stories are fascinating, if not really touching. My favorite must be a long lost, requited first love and with the technology today, that is not impossible at all!
Let me share this little story: I have a friend who was widowed by her true love a couple of years ago. This friend is one of the few friends I got from way back when. I have known her since I was 10ish so I witnessed her first everythings—of course she got to see mine too. I witnessed how losing her true love broke her and she mourned for months. She missed her kids and her grandkids who, by then, have already flown far away from home and living their own lives. Although she admitted to me that two of her married kids offered to take her in, she refused to leave her home of thirty years, much less the neighborhood she has grown to love. She’s 65 then.
I personally believe that she can make it on her own, besides, she’s in such great shape you can’t even tell she’s in her 60s but her kids were worried so they hook her up to the internet and made it a point to call/contact her every single day just to check on her. However, she’s still down most of the time and in a brink of depression when one of her grandkids introduced her to Facebook and I, without a doubt, think that it was what finally scooped her out of the dark and out to the world again.
She began updating me about old friends I can’t even remember being friends with, she went as far as organizing a get together party which doubled as a fundraiser for a local charity she’s been supporting. So you see, she got back on her feet alright. It took her long enough to find her very first boyfriend on Facebook, divorced and very much available, and started flirting right on.
Three years later, he proposed.
As happy as she was, she can’t help but worry if it’s still right to get married considering their age. Afterall, she and the guy have already moved and lived together for about a year prior to the proposal. Also, she’s worrying that it may affect their financial standing, she, being dependent on her late husband’s pension while the guy runs his own company–debt and all.
In truth, there are a lot of things you need to consider if and when you like to get married at the age of 60 and above. Of course, the first thing you would want to consider is how to run your household financially. If you and your partner will be able to sort this one before getting married then it’s worth a shot, otherwise, it would be best if you stay single and just share a home. Another way to avoid financial stress when married is to have a pre-nuptial agreement which both of you will be matured enough to take. Remember, at this age, your finances usually don’t concern only you but also your children, especially if this isn’t your first marriage.

Tired of traditional dating that usually involves too much emotion while giving you a not-so-desirable result? Hate to waste too much time and effort into something that probably won’t last? Care to break free of your stereotypical dating scene? Then perhaps it’s time for you to try speed dating!

I know. Speed dating and the aging population don’t usually go hand in hand but really, who says it cannot be enjoyed by seniors too? In truth, seniors can benefit from this type of dating since it won’t require one to invest too much emotion only to be disappointed in the end.

The beauty of speed dating is, well, the number of choices you’ll have at a given time.  They are a real time-saver. Also, remember our golden rule for first dates? Yes, safety in numbers; in speed dating, you don’t have to worry about your safety, and no one really expects you to take home a date after a round of speed dating. They are as casual as can be. Best of all, you get to meet other singles in your area or a group of people who belong to same interests as yours. This might be the solution if you are experiencing cold feet prior to entering the dating scene after a long time of being attached to someone.

Speed dating works in such a way that there will be two groups of interested singles, usually men and women, then they get to talk as pairs until you complete a round—that is, you get to talk with each and every one belonging to the other group. As pairs, you are given a limited time to talk, usually around five minutes which is just right to determine if there is a “spark” or chemistry going on between you and person you are talking to. If there is a downside to this, it would be the inability to further impress a person you are interested with since you are obligated to go through the whole process (switch partners every 5 minutes) and finish a round. However, the arrangement is best and beneficial if you happen to meet a creep and don’t want to be bothered ever again by this person.

Nobody expects you to like everyone in speed dating. Of course, that is impossible since we are dealing with a bunch of strangers however, the odds of finding a suitable mate is greater than going out on a date with just a single person. Also, you don’t have to prepare yourself elaborately for a speed dating, just a couple of questions to get you by and then you move on to the next.

Sex is good. At any age. Just as long as you can handle it. And it is not only by means of sexual satisfaction, it goes way beyond that, it even has health benefits if you want to go all scientific about it. First off, sex is a great stress reliever which may explain why after a row with your partner, all you wanted to do was to have a little roll in the hay. It is a good calorie burner, of course, as sex tends to be a lot physical however, there are some common misconceptions about sex that more or less, throw off a senior from enjoying sex. Below are some misconceptions and what seniors can do about it.

•    Hot sex is age-related. You know that isn’t true. If it were true then Ashton and Demi would have long been separated and there will be no successful May-December love affairs other than those unrealistically “unconditional” partnerships. Hot sex can be enjoyed no matter what your age is, it can even be done without penetration, as long as you both get yourselves satisfied with the act.
•    You must always have raging hormones. Unless you’re a late bloomer and you are just experiencing your “adolescence rush” then it is not possible to always be in the mood for sex. In reality, a normal person will be very well satisfied with average 4 times a week of sex and it will vary greatly from one libido to another. Never expect yours to be any different.
•    Everything you see in porn is true. So not true even if porn claims to be the greatest sex education instrument ever invented by man. For one, how can biggie penis sizes be ever true? You don’t just get that in real life and it is not always about the size especially at a certain age, say, 70ish?.
•    Being sexy is shedding your clothes in front of your man. Even your man won’t confidently shed his clothes in front of you even if his life depends on it, I bet.  Let’s face it, as we age, there are things we rather keep to ourselves and one of them is the shape of our tummies. However, you can still feel sexy—and actually be sexy without being an exhibitionist. Try on some sexy lingerie that will cleverly hide your embarrassing parts.
•    It is too much physical work. It need not be, unless you prefer it to be. In order to have a fulfilling sex, both concerned parties should be able to connect perfectly, not only by using their bodies but they should also be in-tune with one another emotionally. Remember, it should not always be physical, it can also be emotionally satisfying.

Who says Valentine’s Day is only for the young ones? Of course, it’s also an occasion for the young-at-hearts namely, us, seniors. I am not a bit embarrassed to admit that it is one of few occasions in a year when I get all excited, and dreamy, and all swoony. You can’t really blame me, with all the things I need to attend to 24/7, it’s kind of hard to get me and my partner a free time to actually go on a date or make something special for the other. It is the only day we get to spend time with each other. Just the two of us.

If you are looking for Valentine gift ideas, you shouldn’t be here as this post is not all about gifts but will take a little effort too. Valentine’s Day is not all about gifts by the way. Indeed it is sweet to receive a gift from someone you love romantically but it should be more than that, Valentine’s Day is a day when you should receive and give affirmation of love. That’s the most important part of a Valentine’s Day.

For the clueless, please drop the flowers-and-chocolates combo, let’s do something creative and worthwhile this year, what do you say? Try these unique but simple Valentine ideas for your partner:

•    Go out on a date like it’s your first time. For the gents, try to rekindle the old flame by asking your partner on a date and act like it’s your first time. That includes asking her where she wants to eat and what to do afterwards. Kiss her goodnight and you are sure to be rewarded the same night!
•    Redecorate your bedroom according to theme. It should be red, of course, however, you don’t have to repaint the whole room as you can do simple restyling tricks to make it “romance-inducing” such as throwing a sheer red cloth over your lampshade (just make sure it’s safe to do so or you risk burning the house), light a few incense to titillate his nose and perhaps replacing your cotton bedcovers with silk ones. Lastly, you can play soft music to maximize effect.
•    Browse through sex stores–online. You don’t have to go and expose your aging self out there as there are many sex stores complete with catalogues and tips online. This way you remain discreet but still be able to prepare for Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry about getting it delivered as well as most online sex stores promise to wrap your purchases as inconspicuous as possible.
•    Go for couple spa weekend! This is the greatest way to distress, renew and enjoy all at the same time. What’s more, massages are really good for seniors like you and your partner.
•    Eat outside, under the stars. No need for five-star accommodation and the works, just your simple backyard bbq will do just fine.

We all have our own parameters in life. Every man has his own idea of what’s enough and what’s lacking such that most of the time, especially if a couple is not running on same wavelength, a person may find their partners as “too much” or “too little” while the other half may find the opposite of that in the said person. Seniors are not privy to that. No matter how mature we have become when it comes to love, we seniors still need to be touched and nurtured from time to time. But how would you know if you are indeed meeting the standards for being an affectionate lover? Below are some characteristics of an affectionate lover and simple actions to express your affection effectively:

•    Kissing every time you see each other. Did you kiss your partner on your way out or perhaps when you got home? Kisses are not only good for your relationship but it does your health some good too since it triggers several psychological processes of your body which leads you to feel good about yourself. Kisses also suggest intimacy thus strengthening your bond as a couple.
•    Hold his or hand—even in public. The strongest confession of love must be the desire to hold your partner all the time, oblivious to people around you. I myself find it touching if my partner suddenly and out of the blue covers my head to protect me from drizzle. The unconscious action which uncovers your partner’s true desires must be the best expression of affection.
•    Snuggle whenever the opportunity strikes. Upon waking up, while watching TV or listening to music, after a hard day’s work or it’s cold outside and there’s nothing to do but snuggle. Snuggling is also good if you are looking for a way to distress so you must do it more often.
•    Say “I love you” every single day. This is you affirming your partner that he or she is indeed loved. Very much. There’s no way around it, if you really love this person, there should be no problem for you to do this every single day. There’s no reason for you to be embarrassed as well.
•    Snuggle when in bed—with or without sex. As long as you two sleep in one bed, there should be no “his and her side” of the bed. It is meant to be shared, and in order for you to get the full benefits of sharing a bed, you need to snuggle, and snuggle hard. Enough said.

In this day and age, I must admit, finding the perfect match is oh-so easy. With the advent of technology, particularly social networking, you can find and interact with friends as often as you like. You can indeed connect with your family and friends even if you are too busy to actually sit down and browse the computer since most social networking sites have gone  mobile too—that is, they can be accessed using your mobile phones. You can do it in any way you want and in whatever position you deem fit. This, in a way, widens your horizons in such a way that “dating” someone from miles away is not anymore impossible however, for seniors like us who needs a good loving and a physically present partner, here are some ways to turn your supposedly virtual romance into a reality:

•    Find a dating site that caters to a specific group. Dating sites have themes, if you should know. This makes it easier for those who are interested in meeting people according to their interests. For example, if you belong to a certain religion, there are dating sites which list members of the same religion. Or perhaps a certain age bracket to make it easier for you to choose?
•    Browse through your friends list. If you are an active member of a social networking site, let say, Facebook, you’ll be amazed to hear that there are relationships formed there—and quite successfully at that. This is because your network is, more or less, people you know and it’s not at all impossible to rekindle an old flame from exchanges made in these sites.
•    Make friends, then partners. Not because you are of golden age, you need to chase them partners like crazy! If you make friends as priority then let the relationship bloom from there, it doubles the chances of it being successful than if you jumped from acquaintance to partners.
•    Attend an activity of mutual interest. At some point, your relationship with your virtual-potential lover must take the next level and that is seeing each other. First dates are the scariest, I say. However, if this will be done in such a way that you both won’t feel examined under a microscope then there’s no reason for you to feel uncomfortable at all.
•    If you are to meet, do it alone. This way there will be no distractions and more time to get to know each other. Just imagine how uncomfortable it would be to be sitting around trying to get your date’s attention while she’s busy chitchatting with a buddy she brought along.
•    Set aside your fears. Yes, interacting over the computer is quite different from an actual date but you have to set aside your fears and apprehensions to make it work.