We say unconventional if it’s out of the ordinary, or what the society perceives as unnatural for some reason or another. Sadly, when it comes to romantic relationships, it should be within the same generation, no more no less, for it to be socially acceptable. But we all know that it’s not always the case in senior relationships. Some seniors may find themselves falling for someone half their age and the only thing that’s keeping them from taking the plunge is their doubts.
Falling inlove is a great feeling we, as humans, beg to experience even for once in our lives. When we love, it’s our hearts that rule us and it doesn’t always conform with our minds. Love certainly knows no boundaries, much less age. In addition, loving someone is not a game with certain rules to follow but it is indeed doted with challenges, more if it’s unconventional. This is what you expect in a May-December romance.
Aside from the issue of social acceptance, seniors who wish to engage in a relationship with apparent age-gap face many challenges ahead. Unlike any other regular couple out there, a relationship like this involves serious consideration and hard thinking. It is important that the senior knows exactly what he or she is embarking into and determining one’s true feelings for the other half must be realized first. Assessment is the key. The sooner you realize why you are attracted to this person, the better are your chances of a successful relationship. Ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with this person come high or low. Are you willing to accept this person come what may? Consider the fact that you may only be experiencing empty-nest syndrome and undergoing emotional turmoil right at this very moment.
One of the hardest things to contend with in an age-gap relationship is the generation gap itself. Your generation is clearly different from the generation your partner grew up in and it is normal to find huge differences between the two. A May-December relationship requires both individuals to adjust their lifestyles depending on what’s comfortable for both of them. You need to establish that common ground for your relationship to work. It needs understanding and willingness to grow alongside each other. Don’t be afraid of changes and try other things even if it’s unusual for you.
One of the dangers an age-gap relationship may have is its ability to change a person. I put emphasis on the word danger since it is not healthy for a person to alter his life just to meet his partner’s needs. You went ahead with the relationship as a couple bearing different personalities and backgrounds. While your relationship requires certain changes, it need not change you as a person. Self-identity is the only thing you can safely take with you if and when the affair dissolves. Guard it as much as possible.
As with any other relationship, maintaining a healthy communication line is essential. It is important that you keep an open line at all times since you’ll be tackling a lot of issues especially within the first few years of the relationship.
read comments (0)Seniors need not be alone at the age of 60. There’s too much in life that ending it at retirement is almost a sin! Retirement is supposed to be a new leaf offering liberation and freedom from bonds that hold us down. This should be a chapter in your life when all you need to do is take care of yourself and do whatever it is that pleases you the most hence the need to stay in tiptop shape when approaching retirement.
Seniors’ lifestyle nowadays is gearing towards healthy living and staying in shape. By adapting this kind of lifestyle, they possess greater chances of enjoying their retirement since they’re able to stay active and keep up with the demands of life. Also, when a senior is healthy, it increases his or her chances of finding love again!
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle at 60 is tough and sometimes, it leaves no room for love since you tend to shuffle back and forth to doctors and other appointments. In this kind of pace, it is hard to keep up with one another since your partner is most likely be doing the same things as you are. While these activities are healthy for your own body, it is definitely not healthy for the relationship you are currently having with your chosen partner.
When seniors engage in a relationship, most of the time it is for the companionship it brings but if one is unable to fulfill this need then what’s the use of having your partner around? If your healthy lifestyle is already putting a strain to your perfect relationship then it’s time to apply some certain tricks to make “dating while staying healthy” happen.
The idea is to spend quality time with your partner whenever possible, unfortunately, maintaining a healthy lifestyle also demands a serious amount of hours per day. The trick is to combine both activities so that you are hitting two birds with one stone. Assuming that your partner is also pro-healthy, why don’t you plan an activity you can do everyday together like biking, running or jogging. You can even go to the gym at the same time your partner does. This way, you’ll be seeing more of each other everyday while doing the things you need most.
Dieting is always better when done alone but dieting with your partner is way better because you can be each other’s diet police. Also, cooking with your partner gives that romantic feel you guys most certainly need. The best part is, plan your “cheat day” together and see how sweeter it is when compared to just plain dining out.
Doctors and lab appointments? No sweat! Why don’t you guys go together and be each other’s strength in times of need or when something unexpected comes up. Sharing your life’s experiences with someone close to your heart is a very rewarding experience, like taking off a heavy baggage from your heart and letting this person help you in carrying the little of it that’s left inside. It makes life a little more bearable than normal.
Cohabitation is when a couple chooses to live together without getting married prior to moving in. It is a mutually-agreed decision made by both parties involved and they are socially acceptable nowadays. In fact, it is considered as the best alternative for marriage since it is free of any legal bonds that come with getting married. Cohabitation is also great for “trial period” prior to getting hitched hence its nickname “trial marriage”.
For younger adults, cohabitation is great especially if things got too fast and they would rather take time to know each other more as husband-and-wife. This will also help them determine if they would be able to stay married to one another thus eliminating the legal entanglement if the relationship won’t work. In other words, cohabitation is supposedly a testing ground for the relationship’s staying power. If it hasn’t any, then you call it quits and move on.
On the other hand, cohabitation for seniors is much more than testing relationships and taking time. For seniors, cohabitation takes a whole new different meaning and sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to hear. Usually, it is not about doubting his or her partner but it’s a matter of having no choice but to stay unattached to their respective partners. Remember that these seniors belong to a generation which firmly believes in marriage and it can be doubly hard for them to defy their beliefs. Aside from that, they face criticism from their loved-ones, particularly their kids, and friends. Sadly, more and more seniors are forced to face these consequences in the name of love due to many age-related factors as evident to recent surveys. Some of which are:
· Financial reasons. It seems that the biggest, most contributing factor for seniors to cohabitate is their finances. Some seniors see marriage as impractical or not an option for their relationship hence they prefer staying unmarried living under one roof. Then there’s the question of taxes and senior benefits that are bound to change if and when a senior decided to get married. In other cases, it is done to separate debt incurred prior to the relationship to protect the other person involved.
· Assets. If there are assets involved, sometimes their families would step-in and interfere with the supposed marriage. To avoid this embarrassing situation, some seniors prefer to live together peacefully but without marriage than get married and have a crazy life.
· Personal choice. It may be a bad marriage in the past that has left a bitter pill in the mouth.
· Their own children. Older adults’ descendants play a big part on the choices they make for their own life especially if their children’s welfare is at stake.
Think Demi and Ashton or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, they are the very epitome of successful May-December romances. These celebrities risked this road and it seems that they made the right decision after all. So, if it really works, what sets it apart from all the other relationships and what are its benefits for both individuals involved in the said relationship?
In a May-December love affair, one partner is supposed to be much older than the other one, in about 15 years or so. In a relationship wherein the man is the “much older” partner, he is well-praised by his colleagues and fairly accepted by the society. Unfortunately, the same does not go for older women and most of the time, she is tagged with different derogatory names and titles just because she was able to bag a younger male. Of the two, one can only see how hard it will be for a senior woman to engage in a May-December love affair. This is also the reason why regular senior women seldom find themselves in a situation like this, except of course if you are a celebrity like Demi whose vocabulary doesn’t include the words aging and old! But it does happen, albeit all hardships that come with it and apparently, May-December romances work better and stay longer than same-age relationships.
So, how can May-December romances work while all other types of love arrangements just stood looking on the sidelines? Because, it has the right blend of ingredients perfectly suited in this day and age. We all know how maturity works for people. It may come in a much later time and it varies greatly from one person to another. In general, girls mature faster than boys in all aspects of the body, be it physically or emotionally therefore they seek companionship of a much older partner who can satisfy their needs and be able to properly respond to their level of maturity. Relationship-wise, it is ideal if a couple could grow and mature together as the relationship progresses and enters different stages of it. Unfortunately, maturity is a thing that cannot be imposed and also, it cannot be determined. In a May-December love affairs, there’s bound to be one nurturer and one receiver hence a balanced and harmonious relationship exists. Aside from that, older adults looking to break the boring and monotonous life they are currently living find excitement in younger mates. May-December romances allow room to grow for either or both individuals and it sure does widen their horizons, making them see life through each other’s eyes. Successful relationships are almost always based on how you can extend appreciation over each other’s worth and that is exactly how May-December affairs work. Patience is also there, usually coming from the older partner’s side during the first few years but is also adapted by the younger one later on.
Love doesn’t recognize age. It strikes when it does and there are no limits. In fact, seniors swear that finding love at a later stage in their lives proves to be a rewarding experience—something they never felt before. Experts say that maybe it’s because when seniors look for love, it is without extra baggage unlike most younger adults.
By the time seniors look for love, it is when it’s most convenient for them therefore guarantees no extra baggage for the new couple to carry. Seniors, just because they have been through many life experiences, are matured enough to maintain a healthy relationship that doesn’t go heavy on either side. This is assuming that seniors go for the ones within their age bracket since breaking that age barrier can be tougher and more complicated.
Seniors without any emotional baggage make a perfect partner for anybody, both young and old. This is because a person, when he or she had already accomplished most of what’s expected of them such as raising a family or giving something back to the community is more ready to love someone freely. It enables them to truly enjoy their partners without worrying so much for what the future holds. When seniors look for love, it is more for the connection and not for anything else.
Statistic shows that almost half of the senior population is single so if you are one of them, you would know that there are hundreds, even thousands of potential seniors who might be looking for love right at this very moment. Although hooking up with another senior must be awkward, it is good to know that there are ways to let love find you instead–that is if you know where to look. Here are some places you might want to check out when looking for a new relationship to keep:
· Join short courses and exercise classes or any sessions that will enhance you as a person. Not only these classes will keep you active and moving but also it provides a great way for you to interact with people within your line of interest. It provides you and your potential partner that elusive common ground.
· Going back to school, whether it’s for finishing your college degree or pursuing your master’s degree, is a great way to improve your personality especially if you are looking forward in entering the workforce again. Moreover, you’ll be able to meet other interesting seniors who share the same experiences of school life.
· Going out with your friends will help you unwind and best of all, meet other people.
· Get a little techie and join online dating sites. While seniors prefer meeting their potential mates face-to-face, seniors can also try online dating sites since it is, more or less, safer than blind dates.
Whether on a tight budget or have been saving up for a great, spend-all vacation of a lifetime, seniors are always ready to travel especially now that summer has arrived! All seniors love traveling to places where there is fun; memories are made with loved-ones within these trips so it’s quite hard to pass-up when an opportunity arises. Aside from our medicine kits, seniors are normally “low maintenance” to have around and they spoil their grandchildren rotten. Active seniors also love to do honeymoons with their partners every now and then so it is safe to say that most seniors are well traveled and wouldn’t mind visiting an exotic place twice.
But of course, older people tend to have their own favorite places to visit and would even dream of owning a house there at some point so it is interesting to know where these places are and what to expect when getting there.
Apparently, the top five favorite places seniors love to visit are: the US, Canada, France, Europe and Australia. When a little short of budget, seniors would prefer “state-hopping” or exploring different states in the US. No matter what state you decide to visit, they will never fail to amaze you with what they have to offer for you and your family—companion, if in a date. In US alone, you can visit Las Vegas and have fun watching shows and concerts of popular artists. With lots of accommodation options and cheap flights, nothing could go wrong with Vegas; in fact, it is the most popular travel destination for seniors under a tight budget—you can also buy a quick wedding here, if you must! Aside from Las Vegas, there is Branson Missouri, then Washington DC; and of course, the sun and fun of Orlando Florida. Orlando is perfect if you’re traveling with your grandkids since theme parks guarantee 100% fun for both kids and kids-at-heart.
When in Canada, the group can visit the Canadian Rockies, Niagara Falls, Old Quebec City, Nova Scotia and Vancouver. You can find little gems of places scattered all throughout Canada that is why tourists never tire of visiting this place.
If you are looking for a romantic, unforgettable vacation then head on to France, where everything is shiny and sparkling. The City of Lights never fails to make every couple fall in love all over again; maybe because of the beaches, or perhaps the wine, but whatever it is, France is truly an amazing place to visit. When in France, drop by the Louvre, Notre-Dame, museums, the Eiffel tower, and churches. Don’t forget to sample their cuisine on your way out!
On the other hand, when touring the whole Europe, don’t forget to make a pitstop to these cities: Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, London, Barcelona, Florence, Athens, Berlin, Venice, and Stockholm. Pictures taken in these cities always have the mystique of Europe printed all over them so don’t forget your cameras when you go.
The last on our list, but definitely not least is Australia. Sydney would be the most popular destination in Australia but there are many great places that seniors may want to visit while in the area such as the city of Cairns and the pretty beaches of Gold Coast.
Are you growing tired of failed blind dates and fix-ups that usually end miserably? Are you losing hope in finding that perfect partner to live with you and care for you for the rest of your life? Most probably, you’re ready to throw your hands up in the air right now and preparing yourself for all those long and lonely nights alone forever. If you’re about to, then don’t do it yet. There’s still one reason not to and this is something that might work since its success rate is higher than traditional means: the senior online dating sites.
Senior online dating is gaining popularity among techie seniors nowadays; maybe because it’s convenient for seniors with limited range of motion and for those who don’t have much time on their hands to do socializing more often. Online dating proves to be a great way to meet new people in and out of the city you’re currently living in. Senior online dating sites are communities for single seniors looking for potential partners in life and are quite ready for love–again.
It’s quite amazing to see eligible seniors populate these sites. This also brings hope to single seniors who are still searching for love but haven’t found it yet. All you need to do is sign up and become a member of reputable online dating services, post your profile and join community forums to have a good grasp of what’s going on. Even if you don’t go looking for a date yet, someone’s bound to find you.
Although there are horror stories surrounding online dating, not to mention the existing notion that this activity is for young, free and reckless singles only, its success rate is quite high and it’s not bad to give something new like this a try. As with any other modes of dating, there’s danger; and quite frankly, some even find online dating safer than going out with a complete stranger. When you meet someone over online dating sites, you’ll be able to test the waters first before actually going out with that particular person. These dating services simply open up new horizons and offer a lot more choices to choose from.
There are many senior online dating sites out there that you can join; some of them are for free but you may want to stick with paid ones which guarantee quality, serious love seekers and of course, for safety reasons—the fee is not that expensive anyway. Here are some precautions before joining senior online dating sites:
· Beware of lurking scammers waiting for the perfect prey. Although there are hundreds of eligible seniors listed to the site, expect half of them to be perverts; double that number if it’s a free site. The golden rule around these sites is never to trust anyone until you’ve tested their credibility.
· Be sure to check the site’s membership fees and extra charges. Read fine lines and small prints thoroughly before signing in your credit card number. Internet safety experts always recommend applying for separate online-payment processor such as Paypal just for these types of activities. The same goes for email accounts.
Dating is tough, whichever age bracket you currently belong or how many dates you have scored over your lifetime. It is still the same; the anxiety is still there and first dates are always the toughest to conquer. It’s always a hurdle you should jump over with to get to the next phase of the dating process. Most of the time, it makes or breaks the deal as there are no second chances for senior dating.
Unfortunately, this is the same barricade which holds seniors back from dating again. Due to the anticipated inconvenience and stress of first dates, some of our older people tend to forego a potential romantic hook up rather than going through this exciting and fun activity. As much as they wanted to rekindle their fire, the thought of starting all over again seemed too much.
What seniors should acknowledge at this point is that being single again after so many years of living a loving marriage or partnership is hard. If you lost your loved-one to death, there is always guilt; if you lost them to a younger person then there is insecurity. Actually, there is always something else for seniors which, more or less prevent them from dating again.
In reality, seniors are picky daters. They just don’t date; they search for connection. They try to find that common ground when they are out dating and they already have their own set of rules and qualifications for their dates to advance to the next level. They know what they want and what to look for in a person; this is something you acquire as you age. Older women require different approach; they demand respect and sensitivity from their dates plus you should be able to understand that they have their own priorities such as their family and friends. Do not expect them to drop everything for just a single date with you as it is impossible.
For dating seniors, common ground is very important, above everything else. They go for the ones they are most comfortable hanging out with. Of course, appearance is always important but not necessarily noted in this case. Like stated earlier, seniors’ eyes are trained to see what they are looking for and usually, it is beyond physical attributes of a person.
It is natural for us to feel lonely and in return, start looking for someone to share our lives with. As humans, we would like to love and take care of someone then be loved in return especially within the later years of our lives. Don’t rush things and start slow. Friends are there to provide us the social connection that we need and most of the time, the easiest way to start dating is within your groups and friends’ circle. This is because you are already comfortable with them and they don’t cause you any anxiety. Moreover, you both know where to start because you know each other to begin with.
Vacation indeed knows no boundaries. Well, any season would do just fine for seniors, just as long as we have time, energy and of course, money. Who says only college kids deserve spring breaks? We do to.
Speaking of college kids, seniors over 50 could also go broke sometimes. And like students, seniors also need to watch over their money while on vacation especially now that travel expenses are getting ridiculously high even for higher-income families. Everything has risen; from airfares, all the way down to the food we eat while vacationing and everyday it becomes tougher than yesterday. But, vacation is a vacation and chronic vacationers will find a way to make it possible!
This spring, it is highly recommended for seniors to try cruises. They are much more affordable than any other travel options in the market today. Although there might be some affordable airfare deals, seniors should take into consideration the overall cost of the trip, if and when they explore this venue, such as hotel, entrances and other stuff while cruises are all-in package. Also, cruises are both convenient and stress-free for traveling seniors.
Cruise liners offer lodging, meal tickets and entertainment while on board. Considering you don’t have to pay extra for all of these; that makes it more charming right? Of course, there will be additional offers which will require you to pay but that is entirely up to you if you want them or not such as spas, and classes. What’s more, some cruise liners give discounts to their senior customers ages 55 and up.
Seniors on cruise can enjoy island hopping—visiting one island to another, something that is quite impossible if you are traveling by air or by land, not to mention, costly. Cruises are also convenient for seniors since after a long day of walking and touring the island, coming back to the ship would be a welcome refuge for many.
You don’t have to bring a partner, single seniors are absolutely welcome. There are activities for singles on board which allow them to meet and greet other singles on the ship. This is a great way to socialize with other people while vacationing. And of course, seniors on honeymoon are also given their much needed privacy. Surely, anything goes aboard.
Cruise liners are now gearing more towards seniors. That only proves the fact that seniors remain as the number one vacationers across all generations and lately, cruises are becoming their perfect vacation choice due to the fact that cruises are hassle-free and very economical.
Whether you are a teenager or a teen-at-heart, first dates are always nerve racking. High and lows of emotions are usually felt around this time and it is perfectly normal to feel awkward and tensed. Only, seniors know how to handle themselves well in face of a stranger but they do get nervous especially if they have been out of practice for some time now. Also, seniors are known for better adaptability in embarrassing situations and less fussy with dates.
Let us remember that first dates should be fun, not uptight. In order for us to accomplish that, we should do our first dates with an open mind. Open minds will bring lively conversations and great interaction with your date thus making a second date possible. Your first date should establish common ground between you and your date, connections should be made at this point to determine the outcome of your date but this should not push you into something you are not. Moreover, take your time before choosing the right partner for you and be very clear with your intentions before going out with someone to avoid future complications.
When planning for a date, consider common interests and select a type of activity that will encourage good conversation. Dancing is a great way to get close and have fun at the same time. If you are somewhat doubtful of your dancing capabilities, dancing lessons are great just to freshen up your style. You can also bring your date as a partner for these lessons. By sharing a physical activity, it creates a bond and helps you keep active which is very good for your health.
For casual, relaxing and quite romantic date, arrange for a picnic date. Picnic dates are great especially if you want to have some time alone with your date. Just make sure you packed enough topics to last you until it’s time to go home. Shop with your date for food and beverages so you will know your date’s preferences. Walking around parks or just enjoying the sight is quite enjoyable if you are both comfortable with each other.
Museums guarantee a lively chat for first time dates. Same goes for bookstores which encourage intellectual exchange of views and opinions. By way of, you will get to know your date and be able to express yourself in return. End your date by side stepping to some intimate coffee shop for a quick rundown and followup.
For outdoorsy-type of date, you might want to try mild physical activities first like golfing, bowling, boating and kayaking. These activities will divert you away from awkward moments since most likely, you will be talking about the boat and the water. This is best for those who have no idea what to talk about during first dates.
Romance is never too old for anybody. We are all entitled to love and be loved. As seniors, we have the right to enjoy ourselves and find the perfect partner for us since we already played our vital part for the community. Dating is fun and it gives you a sense of purpose. If you are just starting out in the dating arena after sometime of married life, it is best to go out with friends first or someone you are familiar with, just to test the waters. This way, you stay safe since you know who you are going out with and will also eliminate the possibility of quiet, dull moments. Dates don’t have to be romantic always. You can also date just because you want to go out or you just need to see other people. Senior dating should be painless as possible so let go of all that’s haunting you and let’s have some fun!