Seniors Site

Indeed, online dating made it easier for seniors to meet other people, something that is not quite possible years ago. Online dating took dating to a whole new level, enabling seniors to meet other single seniors even if they are miles away from each other or just around the corner but living in an entirely different circle. In other words, it made our world a little wider and gave us a little more room to grow. However, online dating is not without its own stories of heartaches and disappointments, unfortunately, seniors are more vulnerable to these online dating risks since half of dating seniors group is new to this.
First and foremost, seniors need to know that rejections are very common within the online dating arena. It is because most of those who join online dating sites are only looking for casual dating and yes, not in so much of a hurry to be tied down to a long term relationship. In other words, these sites are meant to use for fun and seldom as a tool to stumble into your idea of one true love. Before you join senior online dating sites, it is important that you know exactly what your expectations are so if and when a rejection comes your way, you will be able to handle it well.
•    No one is choosing you. There are many factors you have to consider when you feel the community is ignoring you. Fact is, they don’t intentionally ignore you so never take it personally. Bear in mind that there are about thousands of choices to choose from and most of them have been active long enough to know what works and what doesn’t. Examine your profile closely, maybe the problem lies there.
•    Chasing a nonresponsive person. So, you have sent hundreds of emails her way and not get a single response. You felt crushed, of course. Thing is, you are wasting your time for someone you assume exists, just because their profile said so. Also, if they are not responding to your mails, maybe it’s time for you to move on since it’s quite obvious he or she is not anymore looking for companionship.
•    Pulled a disappearing act in the middle of a potentially successful match. Online dating sites receive tons of registration each and everyday. It is not impossible for someone who is vaguely interested with you to suddenly shift gears when faced with someone more attractive than you. You would too, I bet.
•    Two rejections in a row. The thing with online dating is, you must always move forward. It is completely pointless to dwell on things when there’s nothing much you can do. Online dating experts suggest that you incorporate online dating into your lifestyle to maximize the experience.

It’s not that I have something against them, in fact, I have lots of friends who belong to this group however, I tend to target the general older adult public when writing a post so I seldom write about gay/lesbian groups. If I am not mistaken, this would be my first time.
So why now? I just had a chat with my longtime lesbian friend and I found out that she’s been into online dating for quite some time now. Actually, her current girlfriend whom I find very attractive and not to mention, nice, is what I consider as a rare find even outside of the web community. So for the benefit of my senior readers who are also interested in finding their match over the internet, here are some of the tips I was able to squeeze out of my friend:
•    Be honest. When I say be honest, it means you have to lay your on the table but for security reasons, that should not include your personal information! This should be your habits and lifestyle such as drinking, smoking, political views, and religion (if it matters to you as well).
•    Be specific. Online dating sites which cater to gay/lesbian communities are most likely to ask you to choose a category for yourself since you are no longer bound to just Male/Female checkboxes. You can be a lesbian, butch, femme or any other identification you would like to belong to. This way it would be easier for a potential match to find you.
•    Check your ads. Check your grammar, your spelling, your ideas. Nothing turns off a potential match than an eyesore ad. Stay away from overused words such as “great smile” or “good sense of humor” instead give your readers your true essence. If possible, post a picture to go along with your profile.
•    Stay within the safe side—for now. Exchanging emails and chatting over the net would be your best option in assessing a potential match. Emails and chat names can easily be dumped if and when you caught a stalker or a freaky correspondent. Never give your home/office address as well as your phone/mobile number until you are really, really comfortable with the person or if you, both, are ready to take the relationship to the next level.
•    Never expect anything other than a friendly date. It is important for seniors to set their mind that online dating is not only done to seek longterm relationship. You can also find friends here and most of the time, most members are only out for friendship and nothing else. Take the liberty of not disappointing yourself by putting into mind that this is just another date. It may or may not turn out as you expect it to be.
•    Find a stable ground for first meeting–and keep it short. My friend suggests that you go meet for coffee or a drink for your first meeting. This way, you won’t risk spending long and exhausting night with someone who clearly isn’t your type.

One of the usual concerns of an aging man is sex, that is, his sexual drive and his ability to perform with a partner. As men age, their testosterone levels begin to decline, to a point where symptoms begin to gradually show until it ultimately causes problem to the person. I remember I already talked about male menopause or what’s medically-termed as andropause. In that post, I have discussed about diminishing testosterone levels and how it can affect you as a person sexually. Of course, your sexual problems may or may not be caused by andropause as you need to get tested first before you can really be certain. Knowing the root cause of your problem can really help you and your doctor arrive in a better solution for your problem. With that said, senior men, once they experience sexual problems, should consult their doctors at once and not be ashamed of it at all as the problem may be a direct result of another underlying health condition that needs immediate attention.
A healthy sex life is needed– young or old–however, for some older men, sexual satisfaction becomes harder to achieve unlike when they were younger and things were less complicated. It was said that a healthy sex life benefits the overall outlook of a person, including his self-esteem and physical health. I have male friends who are old and mature enough to actually sit down and share with me their sexual experiences while aging and I must say, not being able to deliver well in bed takes toll emotionally. I have seen it in their defeated eyes. Some of their usual concerns are diminishing sex drive or sexual interest, achieving and maintaining an erection, and stamina. I even heard from a male friend that sex in seniors is more like “hit or miss”, sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. While sexual problems in seniors don’t usually go away on their own, there are ways you can improve your sex life:
·    Learn to communicate well with your partner. A longtime partner is most likely to understand your problem since you already established a bond with her. She may even help you assess your situation and point out the things you have missed. Knowing where you are coming from without risking unfair judgment is essential in keeping you comfortable doing the act itself.
·    Befriend your doctor. There are many prescription medications for sexual concerns nowadays, especially for men and most certainly, your doctor will be the first to know of these things. These days, nothing is impossible with science.
·    Change the way you see sex. It’s not all about penetration, it also involves satisfaction. Women in general like to be cuddled and romanced which includes some sex—but not entirely sex, sex, sex. Open your mind to these possibilities, explore it and you’ll be amazed to find it can actually satisfy you more than just having sex.
·    Timing is important. Choose the time of the day when you’re in your most energetic. Also, gauge yourself what works for you best. Do you need more stimulation or perhaps some mood setting activity? By all means, do so.
·    Whatever happens, stay healthy, active and positive. These are the things what will help you boost your self-esteem, with or without sex life. After all, who in the earth would like to be called as “grumpy, old man”?

Just so we are seniors doesn’t mean we will not be alarmed when our partners suddenly lose interest on us or just fall asleep the minute their backs hit the bed. Or let’s, for a minute, reverse the situation and suddenly find ourselves too tired to cuddle and just guiltily climb into bed without further ado. If there’s something we can do about it then why not, who in his or her right mind would like to always go home tired and depleted anyway? Only sometimes, going home tired and weary cannot be helped even by your most trusted multivitamins as a backup.
Your sex life, at any age, is important. It covers one of human’s basic needs, no matter how dirty that may sound. As we age, sex becomes more than just a physical act. In a way, it creates or rekindles connection between two human beings and can even fill a void in their lives. However, as reality starts to kick in and human obligations and responsibilities come knocking at your door, that’s when the problem starts.
It was said that sex is at its most beautiful when participants are relaxed and free of inhibitions. However, energy spent at work can really put even the strongest man down. It is important to know that the body has only one energy reserve. If your bucket of energy is spent somewhere else besides sex, there will be no more for anything else. This is especially true for seniors since an aging body seldom has the vitality of a younger one. As we grow older, we really need to slow down and redirect our attention to our own needs, particularly that of our bodies. Problem is, work can really interfere with our private lives, whether it’s a personal choice or a matter of obligation. Fast-phased life demands more from us than ever and sadly seniors who are still with the workforce are compelled to always give it their best even if it means sacrificing their sexlife at the end of the day. Furthermore, technology today makes it harder for us to leave work in the office. Now that almost everything is mobile, work can really invade your home and your bedroom!
Let’s not forget the tension, stress and angst that go with working. If you belong to the 9-5 workforce then you must be worrying about losing your job in this very unpredictable market atmosphere as well, while those working at home are always on their toes keeping up with their self-set quota. If you are really concerned about your dwindling sex life, a senior must learn how to limit energy spent working, including those you tend to bring home like your laptop, mobile phone and reports. Actually setting aside a time for it, like one-day honeymoon can help you forget work for a while and enjoy each other’s company as well. Sometimes, sex drive is only a matter of being in the right place at the right time, so really be there when that time comes.

Is the word “cougar” new to you? Or are you still referring to the slender and agile cats roaming our mountains, always on the look out for a prey, gullible enough to fall into a cougar’s trap? Well, you must be living under a rock for quite sometime now since cougar dating must be the hottest, most liberating hype that hit the senior women’s generation!
The idea of “Older-women-dating-younger-studs” has been around for what seems like ages but apparently, the practice has reached greater heights with cougar dating. The name itself gave it a fiery spice, enough to encourage older women who are really into dating younger men to finally come out and not to be ashamed of their preferences anymore. Gone are the days when an older woman would think twice or even a hundred times before even entertaining romantic thoughts with a younger guy. With strings of successful “cougar” relationships to boast of, older women are now more confident and assured when it comes to their relationships.
For me, what really boosts cougar dating is the fact that most senior women have learned how to take care of themselves thus enabling them to age gracefully. Along with cosmetic advancements available for us to take advantage of, healthy lifestyle proves to be one of the most effective ways to look and feel younger than your age. Aside from that, older women have realized that once they reached a certain age, it should also be right time for them to start thinking about themselves and nothing else. Along with these realizations is recognizing the complexity of starting a new relationship with guys their age particularly the excess baggage they tend to bring along into the relationship. Younger guys, as we all know, don’t have these things. When they come into a relationship, they usually come alone, which is just perfect!
There are many factors why older women may fall for someone half their age. Most of the time, it’s the spontaneity the relationship brings. Somehow an older woman may feel the need to experience living the fast lane again and this, she can never get from an older guy who requires too much attention and care. Some consider it as their last hurrah in life. Others swear that it gives them vigor—a new leash in life—to break their monotonous, boring life.
Adding to these factors is the attraction it brings. For reasons unknown, younger guys may find themselves attracted to older women at some point of their lives, usually their “exploration” age when they have the highest respect for older women and would seek their wisdom and knowledge on how life works. On the other hand, older women may find themselves craving for something they have always wanted—a relationship with not much attached to it. Combine these two and you have the perfect recipe for a cougar relationship.

Although it’s quite hard to imagine a senior getting on with it, sex is still part of our lives and there’s no stopping it, come sickness and impotence! Let’s face it, it does not, in any way, dwindle as we age. Granted, there were days when sex is not as important as breathing. Who keeps an everyday-kind-of-sexual-appetite anyway? But, time and again, seniors feel the urge to do it, no matter the reasons are. I would like to think that it’s a basic human impulse—you feel it when it gets you.
Of course, if there is one thing that hinders us from having better sex, it’s our physical limitations as we grow older. For men, it is usually erectile dysfunction while in women it’s vaginal dryness. Notably, there is also a decrease in sexual drive or the so-called “libido” but more often than not, it has something to do with the way we handle ourselves or how we feel with our bodies having sex with another person. In other words, it’s our self consciousness kicking in. We all know that a large part of having sex is feeling confident of our bodies, second to that is how well we could perform and ultimately, deliver satisfaction. Problem with seniors is, they tend to dwell on these things more and forget to just have fun doing the act.
Healthy, active seniors are noted to have better sex life than those who are having health problems. This is because, physically, they are faring well and emotionally, they are confident with themselves. They, too, are not embarrassed to consult their sexual problems with doctors to enhance their sex lives. Aside from that, they are not having a hard time getting into medications to get what they want since they are physically fit and these medications pose no health risk to these seniors so far. Remember, the only key to a better life is your willingness to improve it.
Also, it helps to note that sex is viewed based on one’s gender. Men use sex as their tool toward intimacy while women use the level of intimacy to enjoy sex. This alone makes a lot of difference when we get older since seniors are more certain of what they want and need in a partner. If you would like to keep a partner satisfied especially during the golden age, start seeing sex from your partner’s perspective.
Communication plays a vital role in your sex life too. A senior must be able to communicate his fears and desires to his or her partner freely since it is the only way to make yourself comfortable and at ease while having sex. Let’s just say that during your younger years, lust reigns but now you have to give a little of yourself to be able to enjoy a better sex life.

Many longtime partners will agree, somewhere along the line, the so-called “flame” will start to flicker and for some unfortunate couples, it eventually dies down without them even knowing it. This is usually the case with seniors who will suddenly go for a divorce, shocking everyone around them, even their already grown kids. Try as they might, they won’t find the right reasons to separate since there is none to begin with, it’s just that they have been in the relationship for too long, they are already missing what it’s like to be inlove.
It’s true. It really happens. It is possible to stay in a boring relationship but it is impossible not to dream of once in a while, falling in love. I am not saying that the love is now lost for these seniors, of course it’s there. In fact, it will forever be there. How else could a person live with someone if he or she doesn’t love the other, one way or another? Staying in a relationship and staying in love, apparently, are two different things although they are closely associated. Unfortunately, falling out of love has its own catastrophic effects. One of them is infidelity.
Seniors should know that it always takes two to tango especially in a relationship. When you fall out of love, it means that your partner must be feeling the same way too. If you feel there is something “lacking” in your relationship, do consider that your partner might be noticing it too. When you start looking for love some place else, then it’s time to check on your partner as he or she may be doing or entertaining the same thoughts as well. Do take note that most affairs form when a partner starts thinking of what is lacking in his or her own relationship rather than trying to fix it.
Never let passiveness settle in your relationship. The usual problem with longterm relationships is that it is fairly easy to feel comfortable with the “arrangement”, falling into a routine, and in the process, taking for granted your partner. When you start NOT seeing your partner as a person, instead, an object or something short of being a part of the house, that’s when you know you are now being a passive partner.
Always be there for your partner. Even if you two are living together for quite sometime now and somehow, managed to build and create your own characters as a person, there’s nothing like being the person who catches their backs when they are in need. This is also the best time to reconnect with your partner and make them feel they are still special in your eyes, wrinkles and all.

In my early teens, cheating would mean “the end” of my fairytale romance. It was even considered as a sin amongst my peers and a person who cheated should be rightfully persecuted, along with the 3rd party involved. In my 20’s, cheating got a whole new meaning. It became a reason for me to break the trust and commit infidelity myself, just to get even with a partner. In my 30’s, I was wishing for the partner to commit them just to add some spice to a boring relationship or to end a miserable one. 40’s was when cheating became infidelity and indeed, a scary topic for wives as it would mean getting left behind without child support, no means to live and a two-year old in tow. While 50’s would be the decade when you finally accept that in a relationship, you are bound to get cheated, one way or another—and accept the situation with an ample sigh of resignation. After all, life goes on right? It’s just one of them bumps on the road. Arriving 60’s and beyond, this is the time when you chuckle in amazement and just leave the door open for the partner to come home either sick or dead. No matter how you look into things or how great your outlook in life, we must admit, infidelity still hurts and it molds us to what we are and what we will become. Unintentionally, it will also affect the way we connect with other people making us weary and less trusting.
Indeed, it is hard to accept infidelity, even with us seniors. When you commit infidelity, trust is put in question. Getting over infidelity is even considered as one of the most difficult things you have to go through in life. Also, when infidelity occurs, the damage is almost always directed both ways; the offending party seeking forgiveness while the offended one seeks answers as to why infidelity happened at all, often blaming themselves for their partner’s act. This is true for most long-standing relationships in which trust was already established but got broken unexpectedly.
If you find yourself stuck in a situation like this, do know that you have several choices to choose from. You can either walk away from the relationship or just accept things as they come. What matters most is that you move on from this situation with your self-respect in one piece. Never make hasty decisions, instead, find a calm place wherein you can sort things out and be able to arrive in a more acceptable judgment of the situation. While it is so easy for seniors to just drop the relationship since there will be not much to consider, do remember that some relationships deserve second chances.

Elderly romance is almost always met with a frown especially from sons and daughters and even relatives. Like medical ageism, it seems like the opposing side’s intentions are not too clear, it is just they don’t trust senior’s instinct and capabilities to decide for their own, even if their happiness is at stake.
I don’t know, but apparently, when you get older, younger people—people you’ve helped shape minds when they were younger—begin to assume the “adult” role and start deciding for you, no matter how clear your mind might be at the moment. Tables have indeed turned as seniors are most likely to find themselves sneaking out of the house to meet their “secret partners” somewhere far and secluded while enlisting friends’ help to cover up their tracks. The sad part of the story is, these interferences and resistance are sometimes not done out of their love for the concerned senior but mainly for the inheritance they are about to receive. Sad but true.
On the other hand, there are those who have genuine fears for the welfare of the seniors. These people tend to be overly protective of their senior just because they smell scam. Their fears are warranted since there were reports in which con artists victimized lonely, elderly widow. One example of which is the sweetheart scam—a heartless scam in which the con artist works his or her way into a lonely senior’s heart. Sometimes, it takes as little as gifts and personal favors, but there are those who are really after the senior’s financial reserves.
If you are one of the caregivers and you find yourself torn in such situation, please consider your parent’s or grandparent’s feelings before declaring an all out war against the blossoming relationship. Just think back when you were younger and you fight for someone you love even if everybody around you were clearly against it. It’s more or less the same. Instead of “belittling” your senior’s decisions, why not try to get to know the “partner” and see why your senior fell in love with this person, in the first place. By keeping an open mind, you’ll know what’s lacking in your senior’s life and what they wish to have. If it’s something you can give, then why not? If it’s not, then it is wise to just back off and wish them all the best, right? Bear in mind that not everything essential in life, you can provide so please give other people a chance to be happy.
Speaking for the caregivers and worried children who fearfully watch their parent go crazy in love, it is really weird to see a parent whom we considered as our champions, turning all giddy and mushy and even foolish. This sight is enough to alarm our hearts and minds if the senior is indeed in the right mind to tell whether or not the relationship is good for them so before you ward us off, please take a closer look on what apparently is amiss and ensure us that you got it all covered.

I still remember a few years back when sex in seniors was almost considered as a taboo. Even my then teenage daughter confessed to a friend—which I accidentally overheard—that there is no way she could imagine her parents having sex, even if we—i.e her parents—have been sharing a room for years and have nothing better to do during colder nights! And that was what, I was only on my midlife, not yet qualified for Medicare! Fortunately, the topic of sex in seniors, although there’s still that certain amount of embarrassment when faced in a discussion, has been slowly coming out as a normal, human behavior for older adults. I say, we should thank the internet as well for making it easier for us to come out of our shells and prove that we, too, are part of the world!
So yes, sex is present in a senior’s life, there’s no doubt about it. However, the difference between a “youthful” sex and a “mature” sex lies in one’s intention. I would like to think that sex has two aspects, the physical aspect and the emotional aspect of it. Both of which can deliver a certain level of high and satisfaction. While sex in younger people tends to be physically inclined, seniors do it to satisfy the heart—and if lucky, the body as well. In fact, seniors are more apt to have a satisfying sex since they know what they want and they usually get it from a partner.
A fulfilling sex life does not always depend on the capabilities of a partner. There should be a sexual connection; a link that connects two person in a sexual act. Without it, it can never be as enjoyable as it should be. Seniors, due to their extensive experience with life and better understanding of how sex should be, are able to fill in both shoes thus enabling them to get more out of it.
Although physical changes are to be expected during golden age, it only brings a different perspective when it comes to sex. Seniors can indeed experiment and overcome their limitations, if and when, they come to terms with these changes soon enough.  However, senior sex is no exception to safe sex rule. It was found out that the senior citizen group has an alarming, steadily-rising number of HIV infections these past few years which authorities are now taking a closer look to what’s going on before it’s too late.