Seniors Site

Now that the tears have all dried up and you’re quite ready to move on, it’s somewhat normal to find the world overwhelming and a little exhaustive. Isolation can also be an issue to most seniors who find themselves suddenly single after years of being married or living with a partner. Although it may seem hard at first, the sooner a senior makes this crucial first step, the better are his or her chances of moving on with their lives.

Your family and friends are your best allies at the moment. They can guide you better in your attempts to return to the normal world since they know what you’ve been through. Seniors who lost a loved-one must know that they should take small, positive steps to familiarize themselves to their new lifestyle. Expect this to be a hard, frustrating road to take and it will take some time but with the right attitude and good support system, you’ll get there eventually.

One of the most common traps for seniors who find themselves suddenly single is rushing to find love even if they are not quite ready for it yet. Due to this, experts believe that a senior’s ability to good judgment is now impaired and almost always, it leads to impulsive decisions and more heartaches. It is highly recommended for suddenly single seniors to take his or her own sweet time stabilizing their lives first before looking for someone to love again. No matter how tempting it might be, loving someone has its own set of challenges to conquer and one problem can never be answered by another complication. Surround yourself with a good support system and heal your wounds first before setting for yet another challenge.

Find happiness in your single blessedness. Consider this as an opportunity to love yourself and no one else. This is the time to rediscover yourself, your abilities and your limitations as well. This opportunity can never be possible if you stay living with a partner your entire life. Loneliness is only a state of mind, and so is happiness. These two emotions are based on your mindset and mindset is something you can control. Don’t ever let your emotions get the best of you.

Grieving period has its own course to run, allow it and don’t rush things. Instead of looking for love, try to meet new friends and consider doing the things you want to accomplish prior to losing your partner. As much as possible, keep activities as single-minded as can be and avoid doing activities that will require you to have a partner. You don’t need to socialize if you don’t feel like it. Be with people you feel most comfortable with at the moment and wait for the right time to come when socializing feels normal again.

When we get older, one of the most common questions that we may have is how to live longer and healthier. As seniors, we know that it is always proper nutrition and exercise so as soon as we recognize the signs of aging, we quickly jump into the “health wagon”, hoping that it’s not too late for us. What we don’t know is that prevention starts earlier than we ever expected and people who actually grow older than a hundred are living healthy since birth.

Knowing this for a fact should teach us not to expect too much especially if we start treating ourselves right a little too late. On the other hand, it’s better late than never right? Plus, healthy changes in your lifestyle can never hurt you.

According to a study conducted to a group of senior men, age is not the only factor that affects longevity. Among the top 5 affecting factors in one’s health, particularly that of an aging man, are:  smoking, diabetes, weight, blood pressure and exercise. These health factors increase the risk of dying early tremendously. This study also concluded that those who survived are living well despite any diseases they may have right now. This only shows that even if seniors are plagued with illnesses, their healthy lifestyle doesn’t need to stop but it has to be maintained all throughout.

Smoking is one of the best-known killers of all time and it becomes doubly harmful for seniors. Its direct effects are fatal enough but long term use has its own set of side-effects that can seriously impair a man. It can reduce bone density exposing you to fractures. Quitting the smoking habit can be your best choice, so far and quitting it early is definitely a plus. Read more about this study in this post:    5 Easy Steps to Living Long and Well.

It is also recommended by healthcare providers for seniors to maintain an adequate weight by eating healthy and exercising as much as possible. Along with aging comes the tendency of the digestive system to slow down making it harder for the body to remove toxins. To combat this condition, digestion-friendly foods should be introduced. Fiber should be included in a senior’s diet since it aids in healthy digestion and removal of waste. Hydration is also important in maintaining a healthy body.

Overall, keeping all aspects of your life active is your best weapon in maintaining a healthy, longer life. This involves physical, social, emotional and spiritual. Start early so the body can adjust well even before it shows signs of aging.

The Art of Mindfulness was introduced as one of the many concepts of early Buddhism that’s still put in practice today due to its effectivity to calm the mind. In this concept, one is taught how to be conscious and aware of what the body is currently doing. It involves sensations, feelings, emotions and functions. Mindfulness techniques can teach you how to stay focused on the “now” and simplify life as it is. In western psychology, these techniques are also applied to alleviate most mental and physical conditions.

The idea behind Mindfulness is being consciously present on what is happening to your body right now and be able to disconnect yourself from all bothering thoughts of the past, future and other tidbits hidden deep within your subconscious mind. These negative thoughts are considered as stress factors and should be eliminated when practicing mindfulness. It was believed that a clear, conscious mind can help you achieve goals better than having your stressors push you everytime. Also, mindfulness yields better results since a person is deemed productive when he is mindful. However, there are some techniques in mindfulness that contradict other productivity principles.

Before adapting mindfulness into your life, you must remember that it is a kind of meditation practiced by Buddhists for centuries now. It is meant to relax your mind and free yourself of stress. It is most recommended for seniors who cannot afford anymore stress in their lives and subjecting themselves into one can even be harmful for their health. Here are some basic mindfulness techniques you can do today:

·    Avoid automatic reactions. When we do everyday tasks, our bodies immediately recognize the task hence turns on an automatic reaction to finish the task. It involves every muscle fiber in our body directly following orders from an “auto-piloted” mind. Notice how you absent-mindedly do household chores and finish it without even thinking about it or do them while your mind is wandering off to the next task. Being mindful is focusing your mind on what you do now.
·    Avoid multi-tasking at all costs. It is impossible to be mindful if there’s a barrage of whatnots going through your head. Multi-tasking is never encouraged in mindfulness. It will only confuse the mind resulting to undesirable results.
·    Worrying about the future will do you no good. If you have prepared well for it, there’s no need to worry about what the future holds. Surrender everything to the higher beings and enjoy the present moment because if it passes, it won’t ever come back.
·    Your aging body has had enough of living the fast-paced life and slowing down will certainly make your soul happy. Don’t rush through tasks in attempt to do it all at once. Give your body a chance to relax and do things at its own comfortable pace.
·    Spend time with loved-ones. I mean, REALLY spend time with them by being consciously there, absorbing every minute of it. You’ll soon realize that there’s more fun in bonding with them and appreciating the beauty of it.
·    Give yourself a quiet, 5-minute “me” time. This way, you’ll be able to rest your whole being and just relax. In a way, you’re also preparing for the next task ahead.

We say unconventional if it’s out of the ordinary, or what the society perceives as unnatural for some reason or another. Sadly, when it comes to romantic relationships, it should be within the same generation, no more no less, for it to be socially acceptable. But we all know that it’s not always the case in senior relationships. Some seniors may find themselves falling for someone half their age and the only thing that’s keeping them from taking the plunge is their doubts.

Falling inlove is a great feeling we, as humans, beg to experience even for once in our lives. When we love, it’s our hearts that rule us and it doesn’t always conform with our minds. Love certainly knows no boundaries, much less age. In addition, loving someone is not a game with certain rules to follow but it is indeed doted with challenges, more if it’s unconventional. This is what you expect in a May-December romance.

Aside from the issue of social acceptance, seniors who wish to engage in a relationship with apparent age-gap face many challenges ahead. Unlike any other regular couple out there, a relationship like this involves serious consideration and hard thinking. It is important that the senior knows exactly what he or she is embarking into and determining one’s true feelings for the other half must be realized first. Assessment is the key. The sooner you realize why you are attracted to this person, the better are your chances of a successful relationship. Ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with this person come high or low. Are you willing to accept this person come what may? Consider the fact that you may only be experiencing empty-nest syndrome and undergoing emotional turmoil right at this very moment.

One of the hardest things to contend with in an age-gap relationship is the generation gap itself. Your generation is clearly different from the generation your partner grew up in and it is normal to find huge differences between the two. A May-December relationship requires both individuals to adjust their lifestyles depending on what’s comfortable for both of them. You need to establish that common ground for your relationship to work. It needs understanding and willingness to grow alongside each other. Don’t be afraid of changes and try other things even if it’s unusual for you.

One of the dangers an age-gap relationship may have is its ability to change a person. I put emphasis on the word danger since it is not healthy for a person to alter his life just to meet his partner’s needs. You went ahead with the relationship as a couple bearing different personalities and backgrounds. While your relationship requires certain changes, it need not change you as a person. Self-identity is the only thing you can safely take with you if and when the affair dissolves. Guard it as much as possible.

As with any other relationship, maintaining a healthy communication line is essential. It is important that you keep an open line at all times since you’ll be tackling a lot of issues especially within the first few years of the relationship.

Stress can occur anytime, anywhere and can be caused by numerous factors. In fact, stress is a very general term used if the body experiences tension and unnatural discomfort. It can be physically, emotionally and mentally or even a combination of two. But, going to work seems to be the most stressful of them all since the workplace involves ALL factors of stress.

Please be reminded that when a person reaches a certain age, the body is no longer pliable to external assaults such as stress. When stress is induced to an aging body, it will then respond differently by bringing out underlying diseases and illnesses. These conditions are considered as stress-triggered and usually don’t have any existing cure yet.

Stress in the workplace is hard to ignore. It’s always there and no matter how hard you try to leave it when it’s time to come home, it will just follow you like a shadow. The best thing to do is try to minimize the stress as much as possible. Remember that it is your health that’s at stake so you really need to do something before it gets the best of you.

TIME AND ENERGY MANAGEMENT

When at work, your mortal enemy would be time. Time can do a lot of things to a person. It can even drive you crazy if you let it be. Along with time management, you also need to learn how to manage your energy and make it last longer so you don’t have to come home tired and stressed. In energy management, you need to know when you feel productive during the day and take on jobs that are appropriate for your energy level. Take small breaks in between jobs so you don’t lose momentum without draining your body of much-needed energy. Forget multitasking, it’s not healthy for you.

THE ART OF PRIORITIZING

Prioritizing means knowing what should be done first. It involves creating a timeline for your projects which will clearly indicate what needs to be done in advance and what can be left out for later. It also involves knowing when is the right time to do some certain tasks. Timing is important, know when to attack.

ORGANIZE! ORGANIZE!

Things are done better and more efficient when they are properly organized. Organization also means knowing how to delegate tasks and be able to monitor the project’s progress. You don’t have to do everything by yourself because if you do, you’re only subjecting yourself in a lot of stress. Find the most suitable person for a certain task and let them do the work. This will give you enough space to think of other productive approaches for the project at hand.

Seniors need not be alone at the age of 60. There’s too much in life that ending it at retirement is almost a sin! Retirement is supposed to be a new leaf offering liberation and freedom from bonds that hold us down. This should be a chapter in your life when all you need to do is take care of yourself and do whatever it is that pleases you the most hence the need to stay in tiptop shape when approaching retirement.

Seniors’ lifestyle nowadays is gearing towards healthy living and staying in shape. By adapting this kind of lifestyle, they possess greater chances of enjoying their retirement since they’re able to stay active and keep up with the demands of life. Also, when a senior is healthy, it increases his or her chances of finding love again!

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle at 60 is tough and sometimes, it leaves no room for love since you tend to shuffle back and forth to doctors and other appointments. In this kind of pace, it is hard to keep up with one another since your partner is most likely be doing the same things as you are. While these activities are healthy for your own body, it is definitely not healthy for the relationship you are currently having with your chosen partner.

When seniors engage in a relationship, most of the time it is for the companionship it brings but if one is unable to fulfill this need then what’s the use of having your partner around? If your healthy lifestyle is already putting a strain to your perfect relationship then it’s time to apply some certain tricks to make “dating while staying healthy” happen.

The idea is to spend quality time with your partner whenever possible, unfortunately, maintaining a healthy lifestyle also demands a serious amount of hours per day. The trick is to combine both activities so that you are hitting two birds with one stone. Assuming that your partner is also pro-healthy, why don’t you plan an activity you can do everyday together like biking, running or jogging. You can even go to the gym at the same time your partner does. This way, you’ll be seeing more of each other everyday while doing the things you need most.

Dieting is always better when done alone but dieting with your partner is way better because you can be each other’s diet police. Also, cooking with your partner gives that romantic feel you guys most certainly need. The best part is, plan your “cheat day” together and see how sweeter it is when compared to just plain dining out.

Doctors and lab appointments? No sweat! Why don’t you guys go together and be each other’s strength in times of need or when something unexpected comes up. Sharing your life’s experiences with someone close to your heart is a very rewarding experience, like taking off a heavy baggage from your heart and letting this person help you in carrying the little of it that’s left inside. It makes life a little more bearable than normal.

Layoffs are cruel, they come at the most unexpected time and place even if you feel confident about your job right now as well as the status of your company. They can hit a workplace at any moment without warnings and it can be very difficult for affected parties. Unfortunately, it cannot be avoided even if the management prefers not to cut back on resources due to the global economic status. Layoffs are meant to be irrational and sometimes, unfair but apparently, that’s how it really goes.

Years back, the most vulnerable workers for layoffs are the inexperienced and senior citizens. Nowadays, the ax is not as picky as it once was anymore. It will hit when the need be, anytime and most certainly anywhere, be it in the lowly janitors’ closet or inside the high-powered executive’s office.

Like stated earlier, layoffs are inevitable and the work climate now is very unstable therefore it is most recommended for seniors to prepare for layoffs especially if they feel the “doomsday” is coming nearer each day. Here are some tips on how to prepare for a layoff, and hopefully you won’t have to use it ever:

·    First off, you need to take a good look into your nest egg to know what your options are. This is the only way to determine where to go when a layoff strikes. If you feel you already reached an adequate amount then you don’t have to worry about layoffs anymore, instead take it in stride by exploring other venues for your own personal growth.
·    If your nest egg is not good enough and acquiring a new job is the only option available for you then it’s time to start setting aside for an emergency fund you can use after the layoff. Your emergency fund should be able to cover you in 6 jobless-months time.
·    Before you try to save anything for rainy days, clear off any existing debts first because if you don’t, it will only eat a portion of your saved money—and more. Debts accumulate interests and these, you have to pay too on top of the principal amount owed.
·    For existing credit card debts, examine closely which card gives lower interest rates and use this as your “only” card to use for all existing debts. Credit card debts are transferable—they even call your home number just to encourage you to do so.
·    Apply money-saving strategies in your lifestyle today. Create a reasonable daily budget that uses only the basics.
·    You’ll be amazed how part-time and freelancing jobs can sustain your needs especially if you’re able to come up with regular clients and steady demand for work.
·    Know your strengths and weaknesses. There is a high demand for skilled workers nowadays and knowing where your strength lies will help you focus on it more. Improve it in any way you can and don’t let age hinder your growth as a person.
·    Being employed has its own benefits and so does layoffs. Know if you are entitled to severance pay and other benefits that come with the amount of time you served the office.

Cohabitation is when a couple chooses to live together without getting married prior to moving in. It is a mutually-agreed decision made by both parties involved and they are socially acceptable nowadays. In fact, it is considered as the best alternative for marriage since it is free of any legal bonds that come with getting married. Cohabitation is also great for “trial period” prior to getting hitched hence its nickname “trial marriage”.

For younger adults, cohabitation is great especially if things got too fast and they would rather take time to know each other more as husband-and-wife. This will also help them determine if they would be able to stay married to one another thus eliminating the legal entanglement if the relationship won’t work. In other words, cohabitation is supposedly a testing ground for the relationship’s staying power. If it hasn’t any, then you call it quits and move on.

On the other hand, cohabitation for seniors is much more than testing relationships and taking time. For seniors, cohabitation takes a whole new different meaning and sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to hear. Usually, it is not about doubting his or her partner but it’s a matter of having no choice but to stay unattached to their respective partners. Remember that these seniors belong to a generation which firmly believes in marriage and it can be doubly hard for them to defy their beliefs. Aside from that, they face criticism from their loved-ones, particularly their kids, and friends. Sadly, more and more seniors are forced to face these consequences in the name of love due to many age-related factors as evident to recent surveys. Some of which are:

·    Financial reasons. It seems that the biggest, most contributing factor for seniors to cohabitate is their finances. Some seniors see marriage as impractical or not an option for their relationship hence they prefer staying unmarried living under one roof. Then there’s the question of taxes and senior benefits that are bound to change if and when a senior decided to get married. In other cases, it is done to separate debt incurred prior to the relationship to protect the other person involved.
·    Assets. If there are assets involved, sometimes their families would step-in and interfere with the supposed marriage. To avoid this embarrassing situation, some seniors prefer to live together peacefully but without marriage than get married and have a crazy life.
·    Personal choice. It may be a bad marriage in the past that has left a bitter pill in the mouth.
·    Their own children. Older adults’ descendants play a big part on the choices they make for their own life especially if their children’s welfare is at stake.

Think Demi and Ashton or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, they are the very epitome of successful May-December romances. These celebrities risked this road and it seems that they made the right decision after all. So, if it really works, what sets it apart from all the other relationships and what are its benefits for both individuals involved in the said relationship?

In a May-December love affair, one partner is supposed to be much older than the other one, in about 15 years or so. In a relationship wherein the man is the “much older” partner, he is well-praised by his colleagues and fairly accepted by the society. Unfortunately, the same does not go for older women and most of the time, she is tagged with different derogatory names and titles just because she was able to bag a younger male. Of the two, one can only see how hard it will be for a senior woman to engage in a May-December love affair. This is also the reason why regular senior women seldom find themselves in a situation like this, except of course if you are a celebrity like Demi whose vocabulary doesn’t include the words aging and old! But it does happen, albeit all hardships that come with it and apparently, May-December romances work better and stay longer than same-age relationships.

So, how can May-December romances work while all other types of love arrangements just stood looking on the sidelines? Because, it has the right blend of ingredients perfectly suited in this day and age. We all know how maturity works for people. It may come in a much later time and it varies greatly from one person to another. In general, girls mature faster than boys in all aspects of the body, be it physically or emotionally therefore they seek companionship of a much older partner who can satisfy their needs and be able to properly respond to their level of maturity. Relationship-wise, it is ideal if a couple could grow and mature together as the relationship progresses and enters different stages of it. Unfortunately, maturity is a thing that cannot be imposed and also, it cannot be determined. In a May-December love affairs, there’s bound to be one nurturer and one receiver hence a balanced and harmonious relationship exists. Aside from that, older adults looking to break the boring and monotonous life they are currently living find excitement in younger mates. May-December romances allow room to grow for either or both individuals and it sure does widen their horizons, making them see life through each other’s eyes. Successful relationships are almost always based on how you can extend appreciation over each other’s worth and that is exactly how May-December affairs work. Patience is also there, usually coming from the older partner’s side during the first few years but is also adapted by the younger one later on.

This is probably the most horrible news one could ever receive but unfortunately, senior abuse is not at all uncommon and they really do happen—a lot. No matter where you choose to leave your senior, there will always be a chance of them getting abused without you knowing it. What’s most painful is that the trust that was once there is now broken. Not to mention the trauma your senior must have acquired during the whole ordeal. Indeed, an experience like this striking any family is something we all have to avoid at all cost.

But how would you know? In rare occasions, a senior may report these cases themselves to proper authorities but again, this is not always the case. Usually by the time an abuse case concerning a senior reaches the police, it’s way too late. Reasons for not reporting vary widely from one senior to another, the most common of which are the inability of the senior to do things on his own and poor judgment to matters concerning their own welfare. Some of them admitted to authorities that they were either ashamed or too frightened to call for help even if they already did recognize danger. Most reported cases of senior abuse came from concerned neighbors and close friends who are quick to identify these warning signs.

Regular contact with your senior is the most effective way to prevent abuse from happening. If other people are aware that you have been checking regularly, they will think twice before doing something bad. It will also be for your senior’s best to check up on their affairs once in a while especially their finances which apparently is the most vulnerable—and very targetable—area of their life right now. Here are some of the most common warning signs that you should be looking for when you suspect senior abuse:

·    Discrepancies in their financial affairs and assets. Unscrupulous people will try to “milk it” as long as they stay undetected. They will apply tactics and other methods of persuasion just to get their hands on the senior’s money.
·    Signs of malnutrition. When you notice they are dropping weight like crazy then it’s time to intervene. When a person loses weight, there’s always something wrong with the picture, either he is not getting enough food to nourish his body or he is not receiving proper medical care while the body takes in all the blow.
·    Physical injuries or telltale signs of physical abuse. Take note of bruises, cuts, welts and broken bones. While it is normal to acquire these things when doing everyday chores, they should be explainable.
·    If your senior is living with someone who abuses them, your senior is bound to exhibit a different kind of attitude whenever that person is around. Also, signs of emotional withdrawal is noted when a senior is subjected to abuse.