Dealing With People
Who Are Profoundly Injured

-- by Wm. J. Diehm

I have seen unbelievable deformities and incredible deficiencies in the state institutions like Fairview State Hospital in Costa Mesa, California. I also worked as a psychologist at the Arnold Homes for Disturbed Children in Anaheim. Some of the children could not talk or even control their bowels at the age of 16. Some would stare into space in a withdrawn autistic fashion for endless hours.

No matter how graphically I could describe the condition of certain people, it would be unbelievable. Those who work at such places are dismayed at the few answers to heavy problems; but there are some answers.

1st: No matter how intense the disability there is no substitute for love and hands-on care.

Jack and Judy had a little baby boy who was born with the shunt tube to his brain plugged. This condition did not allow the water to drain from the brain. Therefore, as he grew older the head enlarged and the brain was crushed by the accumulation of water. Hydrocephalus allows the child to have an enormous head, an infinitesimal brain, and terrible limitations with gross deformities.

Jack and Judy took loving care of their highly damaged child until he was 5 years old. At that time they put him in a state institution. Soon he died. Not to say anything against state institutions--they do the best they can. But, to say something powerful for love and care, there is no substitute for love in dealing with any profoundly injured child or adult.

2nd: Look for the positive blessings in any profoundly injured person.

My little grandson, Dan, was injured at birth and as a consequence has been left with a condition called cerebral palsy. He is now 19 years old and he can't walk, or talk, or feed himself, except with extreme difficulty. He has very little control over his bathroom functions. Sometimes he can notify, but certainly he can't take care of himself and must wear diapers.

His spastic muscles curl parts of his body into terrible deformities. For example, his foot will twist until the bone sticks out of the flesh. I have cried in despair when I have watched this little boy suffer through the years.

HOWEVER (notice the word is capitalized), Dan will stretch out his deformed hand to touch you and bow his head to pray for you if he sees that you are sad. Of course, no one but God can understand the guttural words he uses. But, he does pray for those who are sad or suffering.

During a recent Christmas cantata at Dan's church, someone wheeled him to the front to sing with the children. Dan looks like he is about 6 years old. He sang in a loud, off-key, unintelligible voice that jarred on the singing of the sweet children. I cried unabashedly for my grandson. At the end of the Christmas program a medical doctor who had been invited to the service came forward to accept the faith. He turned to the audience and said, "I have been an atheist most of my life. No one could convert me. Tonight I listened to the little boy in the wheelchair sing and I was affected in such a way that I could no longer deny the existence of God. If that little boy can sing in his condition, then I can too."

Dan has a terribly deformed body, but there is something about him that draws people. Often he cures my tendency to become depressed. I often think, "God can wield a mighty powerful blow with an awful crooked stick."

3rd: When you feel totally helpless, do something: pray, smile, lend a hand, encourage, etc.

Despair at a time of despair only adds to the problem. Despair plus despair equals a catastrophic disaster; while despair plus encouragement can be the beginning of a possibility.

At Pacific State Hospital in Pomona, I entered a room full of grossly deformed abandoned children. I began to cry and felt nauseous. A Spanish lady attendant said to me, "I know how you feel, but it doesn't help my children for you to cry. If you must cry, go elsewhere. If you want to help, we have 69 children who need to be changed, fed, and loved." That day I learned what love meant.

4th: Encourage legislature to fund research and give special care to those who need it.

The flies were so bad at Pacific State Hospital that they resembled a black blanket covering the bodies of the helpless. The state would not spend money on these forgotten places of hopeless suffering until a ward attendant invited large groups of college kids and public-spirited people to see what was happening. After many complaints, at last the money came, and fly traps were installed at the doors and windows. The disadvantaged couldn't thank anyone, but God recorded it.

5th: Have the attitude, "What can I do to help?"

Many of the severely retarded and deformed got that way when their parents used drugs, alcohol, and sometimes cigarettes. Other damage was caused by the children being cruelly treated or abused. Some were victims of disease and others of accidents and trauma. Psychological and emotional rejection accounts for others and genetic errors also takes its toll. Anyone can be damaged. Let us be grateful when we are not.

Some people see the damaged and get very negative. They say such things as: "How can anyone who cares let such things happen?" I don't know all the answers to such rhetorical questions, but I do know that such questions are often used as an excuse to do nothing. The proper attitude toward heavily damaged people is to say, "I am grateful that I don't have such a condition." And, "What can I do to help?"

6th: Count the little miracles.

We all want great miracles to happen; we want to wave a magic wand or say the right prayer and have all illness, all handicaps, and all damage healed immediately, on the spot. Sometimes it does happen that way, and I am ecstatic with joy! But, when the stupendous, spontaneous, glorious miracle does not happen--How about counting the little miracles?

7th: When dealing with the disadvantaged, put your priorities on optimistic things.

Deformities can be terrible, but some types of criminal behavior are even worse. The greatest comfort and the greatest power in this world is faith. Happy is the person who realizes how temporary is the body and how permanent is the spirit and they choose not to be damaged by living without faith.

If I were to sum up the meaning of this article on coping with the sick, those with a handicap, and the damaged ones, I would say:

As I see it there are many methods for healing the sick: Whenever we are involved in any of the above activities even a little bit, we shall receive our reward.

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Last update 7/26/96