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Lately, many use the terms “dementia” and “Alzheimer’s Disease” interchangeably.  The fact remains that not everyone who is suffering with dementia is dealing with Alzheimer’s.  Statistically, Alzheimer’s accounts for about 50% to 75% of all dementia cases.  Other reasons for this disorder may be due to blood vessel disease or “mini-stokes” as well as a variety of less common ailments that affect the brain.



Admitting that you or someone you love is affected by this old-age disease can be difficult.  Often the afflicted person is the first to realize that things just aren’t right, and the realization can be frightening and frustrating.  Simple tasks that were easily accomplished earlier in life may become difficult, such as driving, walking to familiar locations without getting lost, cooking, or holding a conversation.

Although Alzheimer’s can often progress quite slowly, other forms of dementia take a faster path.  This can be difficult for the individual’s family or caretaker, as the level of responsibility for the impaired person increases quickly.  Those afflicted may begin forgetting to do little things that most take for granted, such as turning off the water after showering or turning off a burner or oven, both of which can be dangerous to the individual or those with whom they’re living.

This is a confusing time for dementia patients, as they sometimes possess moments of clarity, making it difficult to understand why they are no longer trusted with miniscule tasks and why they have lost their freedom. 

Many caregivers attempt heroic measures, promising to take care of their loved one until his/her death.  However, this is often a mistake.  Caregiver burnout occurs often among those who are caring for those with any sort of dementia-related disorder.

It’s best to look at long-range options, whether it be placement in an adult day care program, respite care, or full-time living arrangements in a nursing facility.  Today, many assisted-living communities and nursing homes specialize in dementia care, making them an ideal choice.


 
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Dementica              Reply to this Comment

I care for my husband who has dementia. Like any information can get on this subject. And someone to talk to.

Dementia              Reply to this Comment

I care for my husband who has dementia. Do I agree with his visions or not.

dealing with dementia              Reply to this Comment

my wife had a stroke 9 months ago an i can not get any help for her from the state of florida they say we make to much money we ar both on ss disability and bearly make it what is a person to do

Dementia in Family              Reply to this Comment

I live with and take care of my grandmother who has dementia. I moved in with her because she was having some trouble, and it has worsened. She always knows who I am and where she is, but her emotions, thoughts, and words are jumbled. She says mean, hurtful things that she denies minutes later. Being my grandmother, I have memories of her being manipulative and telling little lies years ago, so it's hard for me to accept that this may just be dementia entirely. After 8 months, I have realized that she needs full-time care. I can't leave her home alone any longer, and I am strongly convinced that a facility set up for this condition will enable her to enjoy more. My message - don't try to do too much. It feels better to us as caretakers to have them around because we love them, but we have to be honest about our own limitations and our loved ones' needs. Consider outside help. It will help your relationship with the loved one, as it can be difficult for them to know you are responsible for them. Best of Luck - dementia is one of the worst things that can happen to us as humans because we lose track of the feeling of being ourselves.

Dealing with Dementia              Reply to this Comment

Greetings, I am a Nurses Aide in Canada. I work the graveyard shift in a nursing home. There is unfortunately no easy pat answer to your quiry. Dealing with dementia is difficult. The person you knew and loved has changed. Is your partner aggressive? Are they prone to wandering? Do they have days and nights mixed up? All you can do for the most part is be patient. What works one time may not work again. I don't claim to know everything about it. No one can, and if they claim they do they are seriously disilisioned. Do you have any support groups? How about social services? Do you qualify for help? How about adult day programs? I am truly sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope you can find help. Take care. H

dealing with dementia              Reply to this Comment

My mother is 84-years-old and has lived with me for the past two years. She has become demented this year within the last three months. I am her caregiver and have hired a person to come in Friday night to Sunday night so that I can get out a couple of days. The state pays for part of it and my brother and sister help me with the balance. Yes it is expensive. The alternative is a home however, my grandmother was put in a home and I still remember how terrible it was. I know that burn-out comes as I am now going through it. My mother now gets up in the middle of the night to take showers and such so I have to keep an ear out and put her back to bed. I am contemplating a live-in helper. I can pay them some, they get room and board and help me out. Of course the question is always there of how long will this go on. Also the guilt of wanting it to end soon but not wanting your mother to die either. The good part is that I have had some time with her, I won't feel guilty when the times does come and of course no one can care for her like me. Too bad there isn't doctor's who can walk you through the phases as that is what has caused me the biggest problem. Not being prepared to deal with each stage. I now care for her like I did for my children. We have a schedule daily and she likes that. I am firm but gentle. The problem is that she is now at that tantrum stage. I can't get her out of the house so I can buy milk even. She yells don't turn off the music, sit down and watch, you will see my children. I have twins now! Yes, I have learned to just laugh it off to keep my own sanity.

luv              Reply to this Comment

Yes my mother has that thing that makes her ill. i love u ben

mother              Reply to this Comment

I am in the same boat. I have a hard time coping and have little sibbling support. I tell them it is different for an evening compared to a year. They are trying to abuse her finaces I am wishing for a way out but I can't abandon my mother.....God help me.

Grandma means to mom              Reply to this Comment

My grandmother who lives a block away has dementia. She makes up stories, never based in reality. She says hurtful things to my mother who does errands and shares dinner 3 times a week. My mother has two brothers who do some things but my mother is burning out. Has anyone had any luck in bringing a caregiver into a parent or grandparents house?

dementia              Reply to this Comment

I am close to having my own breakdown with dealing with my mother's dementia. She constantly thinks there are other people in the house with us trying to steal from us, using the shower, wanting to eat, etc. It is an impossible situation. All the reassuring in the world doesn't convince her of anything. She is very hard headed. I am worn out and close to having my own sickness. Respite care is out of the question because she doesn't feel comfortable with strangers. My brothers and sisters aren't able to because of distance and their spouses health problems. I am at a loss for what to do.

dementia              Reply to this Comment

Sorry that you are having to deal with this. My Mother is dealing with the same with my brother. It is a lot of hard work and stress on anyone even though you love them and want to take care of them. My mother has recently put my brother in a assisted living nursing home. His social security pays for the long term stay. you probably need to look in your area for the same type of living. Hope this helps.

Dementia              Reply to this Comment

I just lost my mother unexpectly. I'm now dealing with my father who has denentia and also have my sister with disabilities along with my 2 with mental retardaion. I'm having a really hard time getting my father motivated. How do I do so without getting him upset. I can't get him out of bed in the mornings.He tends to get a bit aggressive and I can't show my fear withh him. I am desperately needing help or sugestions.

dementia              Reply to this Comment

realizing that somone you love and care about is suffering from dementia may be the hardest part accepting they may never return to how they were before and just how fustrating it is for them to live with it.

Dementia              Reply to this Comment

Dementia and Alzheimers patients NEED socialization out of your house. There really ARE good places to consider. FAMILY menbers who DO NOT give their time and energy to the patient should have NO RIGHTS regarding their care or finances.

Dementia              Reply to this Comment

Dementia and Alzheimers patients NEED socialization out of your house. There really ARE good places to consider. FAMILY menbers who DO NOT give their time and energy to the patient should have NO RIGHTS regarding their care or finances.

My Mother has dementia/alzheimers???              Reply to this Comment

She has been living with us for over 5 years. I never imagined how difficult it would be to forgo all rights and freedom to do as I pleased. My husband and I are virtual prisoners of our own making. I love my mother very much, but HATE her disease. She can be totally coherent and fool people and then turn around and not remember what happened 2 minutes or 2 days or 2 weeks ago. It is making me crazy. Sometimes she is paranoid and thinks I am trying to get rid of her and she says she doesn't love me. That makes me wonder WHY I am putting myself and my husband thru this for her when she has no appreciation....I know she is sick, but I'm getting sick also. Respite care in our town is practically nil. She fights the idea of 'sitters' and we don't really have the funds for that and fun...if that is even possible worrying about her status. I have no answers...only questions. I have personally had to go on Lexapro to deal with my own emotions. *whine, whine, whine*

dementia              Reply to this Comment

My mother I believe has dementia. She has lived with my husband and I for 6 years. We also have 8 children that this whole situation has been very hard on. I have siblings but the only role they have played in her life has been phone calls and to rip her off. She made me poa 4 years ago and I have done well not letting them get their hands on her social security which is all she has left. My mom went to visit my sister several weeks ago for what I thought was a day and she has not come back. My sister put in my Mom's head that I have mistreated her and stolen. I have loved and protected her all these years and have never lied or stolen from her ever! The woman lives on social security and whatever $ she had which was little was stolen by my sister years ago. My Mom won't come home and my sister has gotten my moms pain meds increased. My sister is a drug seeker and a convicted sex offender to boot! Now I hear that my mom has been taken to another state to stay with another dead beat sister who actually had my mom sign over her house to her 6 years ago. My mom now believes all the bullshit and will not even talk to me. How in the world do I help her? How do I get over knowing there is nothing I can do? My children are so upset and they will not even let them talk to her! I have no regrets about how I loved my mom and took care of her. Where were these low lives the past 6 years? My Mother had a broken hip last year and a stroke just in Jan and they were no where to be found. Now they twist her mind and she believes all the crap. I have been to the police and called elder abuse but if my mother will not see them there is nothing they can do. All her things are still here -including all her clothes and she is calling demanding the strangest things at 5AM. Only things they think they can pawn for money!!!! Really the only value these things have is sentimental but i know they think they can get some $. What the heck do I do? How do I get through the day knowing I will never see my Mother again? It is killing me---- I don't even know the address of where she is only the city. The dirtballs ripped her off 6 years ago and again in 2005. At this point I believe the only reason they want her is for the drugs and to stick it to me. I have been very vocal over the years about how badly they have treated her and now they are showing me just who they think is boss!

Dementia and what to do?              Reply to this Comment

My mothers health has been declining in the last 2 yrs, but she always had a sharp mind. My brother died 3 months ago, and she has not been the same since. She now studders her words, can't form complete sentences, and the day after my brother died she called the police on the family morning the death of my brother and had the police tell us all to leave. She has told me oh come on over i miss you, i have not been there since the day after my brother died. We setup plans to have me stay with her, only for her to call and say the social worker says for me not to come it would be a conflict of interest. She has been mean, paranoid and thinks everyone is stealing from her. How do i deal with this?

Holding one....              Reply to this Comment

I care for my father. 2006 his dr. told me to put him in a nursing home. I have not been able to do it emotionally until recently. The papers are filled out but not sent in. I stopped working about a year ago. Wow. I am going thru or been thru all that everyone has voiced. I did burn out but have my second wind. Things started to improve after I got my father a Geriatric Behavioral Evaluation. He now has a psychiatric dr. he sees once a month to evaluate the balance of his medicine. His general practioner had given him Ativan and Ambien. Ativan seemed to work but has a high addiction level so weekly monthly the dose has to increase and soon you will be at a point were Medicare and hmo's will not approve the dose. In addition, they are prone to falling on Ativan. The psychiatrist started weaning him off the ativan and put him on serequeol an anti-psychotic. He still acts out but the volume is turned down and he sleeps thru the night. I really wanted to struggle thru this period to get him more stable before going into a nursing home. I feared he would be abused. Now that he is better I will submit the application to have my dad go to a VA nursing home. My advise get the Eval and don't try to go it alone. Even if you don't have famliy support [I don't have any support either] you will probably be assigned a case manager would will steer you towards support groups and services available to you no matter your income [too much or too little].

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